Traversier: A boat that goes back-and-forth between two nearby points, ie ferry.
As seen in: « Au quai de Souris, à l’Île-du-Prince-Édouard, les pêcheurs menacent même de bloquer la sortie du traversier des Îles-de-la-Madeleine dès mardi. »
(Translation: “At the quay in Souris, Prince Edward Island, fishermen are threatening to block the passage of the ferry to the Magdalen Islands starting Tuesday.”)
CTV News is reporting that “A Massachusetts-based aerospace company says it is developing a user-friendly, affordable flying car that will allow ‘the rest of us’ to leave the asphalt and go airborne whenever the mood — or rush-hour traffic — strikes.” As if Toronto Island residents—all five of them—weren’t already complaining about air-traffic congestion! As per CTV, “the TF-X won’t require a runway to take off and land. And operating the vehicle ‘should be statistically safer than driving a modern automobile,’ Terrafugia says,” especially on the 401.
Terrafugia, the company behind this car of the future, hopes to have its TF-X prototype road-and-air-ready by the 2020s, stating “early studies indicate that it is possible that the final price point could be on-par with very high-end luxury cars of today.” An earlier model, The Transition, is supposed to hit the market in two years with a $279K price tag, in case you’re wondering what to get your godfather for Christmas who owns three Lamborghinis. 
Who knows, maybe by the time TF-X is rolling off the assembly line, genetic engineering will have already added wings to our bacony friends—which would make them a lot harder to slaughter, I suppose. But hey, if it allows a scientist to win an office bet, well, you never know…
So, I’m making a big move on Tuesday–over three kilometres, in fact! (Okay fine, 3.1 km.) But while it isn’t a great physical distance, moving to my new apartment means I’ll no longer be in an Annex State of Mind. I have lived in The Annex for four years now, and have come to the realization that your average Annex resident is either under the age of 25 or over the age of 50. So I might not miss the people–or being the best-dressed guy on the block on Casual Friday, no less–but there are certainly a few things that I’ll regret not having within walking distance anymore. I’ll be counting off five of them over the next few days.
(I mean, you don’t actually expect me to walk three kilometres, do you!? That’s like a half-hour marathon–OK, more like 45 minutes for me…)
5. Lee’s Palace (and to a lesser extent, the Annex Wreckroom)
2. Puck ‘n Wings/Burrito Bandidos
Not only will I no longer be getting on the subway at Spadina–after tomorrow, I won’t even need to take the TTC, at least not on a daily basis. I may not miss the morning commute, but I gotta say, Spadina’s a pretty versatile station. Not only does it have an entrance right across the street from my soon-to-be-former apartment (visible in the background of this photo), it also services both the Bloor-Danforth and University-Spadina lines, so you can get there from any subway station. Furthermore, there’s a north-south streetcar service from Spadina where you don’t even hafta wait outside! As far as TTC stations are concerned, it’s one of the best in my books…
The Calgary Herald is reporting that “Police are warning drivers that someone is impersonating a police officer and pulling over vehicles in Calgary.” But it would appear that this impersonator could use some acting lessons—not to mention a costume designer. As per the Herald, the fake cop is “a 5’7” Caucasian man wearing green sweatpants.” Gee, you think he at least could’ve bought some navy blue ones!
That said, it seems he spared no expense on the dashboard lights. The Calgary Police Service isn’t sure where he got them, but as one officer told the Herald, “I have seen them for sale in the States. Obviously, people are getting a hold of them some way.” Hmm, have you tried meat-loaf.com? I hear that guy would do anything for love a buck these days…
In any case, it’s not abundantly clear what our shoddy impersonator’s motives are, but they apparently involve temporary blindness. Duty Staff Sgt. Guy Baker remarked that “the male did not approach quickly, did not identify himself as a police officer and used a flashlight (directly) into her eyes.” Baker also confirmed this guy’s not the only eye-dentist on the road. “We’ve had nine incidents in the last five years, none of which match the same description of the vehicle or the suspect,” he told the Herald. Note to single ladies: If a green-pants officer issues you a ticket for “Driving While Gorgeous,” it’s probably not worth the toilet paper it’s printed on.
Although the Toronto Sun chose to focus on his assessment of the Toronto Blue Jays, other major media outlets, including the Toronto Star (who else?), are running with the fact that Rob Ford, The Mayor of This CityTM, made vomiting noises when told of a proposal to raise taxes for transit. Hey, who’s to say he wasn’t simply trying to suppress his tax-allergy symptoms? (The Sun’s take? Metrolinx taxes make Rob Ford gag.) But don’t you know that the mere thought of tossing one’s cookies is unbecoming of any Mayor of this city?
(Note to Olivia Chow: Better bring some Pepto Bismol on the campaign trail, lest you invoke the ire of at least 75 registered Star commenters…)
The TTC released a video today announcing its latest transportation concept, The Personal Car. As per the YouTube video description, “The ‘personal car’ allows customers do whatever they like while riding the subway – wear bulky backpacks, eat a meal, put their feet on the seats, play loud music, block doors and, yes, clip their nails.” Finally! I’ve always wanted to use the nearest seat as a footrest when I clip my nails onto my pizza while standing in the doorway with my bulky backpack! What took them so long!?
Unfortunately, this Personal Car was an extremely limited-time offer. In fact, it’s already out of service by the time you read this. “The “personal car” is only in affect (sic) until noon, April 1. After that, we simply ask that everyone be considerate of their felow (sic) rider.” Well, it might not be “in affect” anymore, but they didn’t say it was no longer in effect… Because apparently, nobody proofreads YouTube posts written by semi-illiterate employees at the TTC.
In any case, this clearly looks like an April Fool’s joke. The Japanese Seat Nazi (thanks, Globe and Mail) is not amused:
Mettre la pédale douce: To display moderation or restraint; to go easy. Literally means to pedal softly; this expression is derived not from cycling or gas pedals, but the pedals of a piano, ie soft-pedal.
As seen in: « Le ministre des Transports, Sylvain Gaudreault, met la pédale douce dans les investissements routiers même si Québec injectera 5,6 milliards de dollars pour la période 2013-2015 $. »
(Translation: “Transport Minister Sylvain Gaudreault has restrained road construction spending, although Quebec will still invest 5.6 billion dollars in that domain from 2013-2015.”)
The Canadian Press is reporting that a man is finally being charged for carrying $1.3-million in his backpack on a Greyhound bus in February of last year. This is shocking on so many levels. Man, if I had that kinda money, I’d at least upgrade to Coach Canada, or perhaps a private minivan! And how did it take a year to lay charges!? Has the RCMP been counting every penny?
As per the CP, “Several law enforcement agencies became involved, including the RCMP, the Canada Border Services Agency, Winnipeg police and the Toronto special enforcement unit.” How many law enforcement agencies does it take to arrest a man with a million bucks on a bus? We have our answer: four! And anybody care to tell me how this was the Toronto PD’s jurisdiction—aside from the obvious, that it’s The Centre of the Known UniverseTM?
The CP reports that “Erwin Thomas Speckert of Minden, Ont., was charged with several proceeds of crime offences alleged to be connected to illegal gaming in Ontario.” At this rate, he might get his day in court by 2018…
Échangeur: A piece of roadwork that allows for an alternating flow of traffic without intersections, ie an interchange.
As seen in: « La facture totale et finale de la reconstruction de l’échangeur Turcot, dans le sud-ouest de Montréal, passera à 3,7 milliards $ mais des mesures sont prises par le gouvernement du Québec pour que le montant de cette facture soit plafonné. »
(Translation: “The total and final bill for the reconstruction of the Turcot interchange, in southwest Montreal, will rise to $3.7-billion, but measures have been taken by the Quebec government to place a ceiling on said amount.”)
The Toronto Sun is reporting that a 56-year-old woman was charged with impaired driving after arriving at the South Simcoe police station in Innisfil, just north of Toronto, where she was going to bail out her son—who had just been arrested for the same offense. According to the Sun, “at about 3:20 a.m., the man’s mother arrived to pick him up. While speaking to the arresting officer, he detected alcohol on her breath as well.” Musta been a real family bender!
Her 27-year-old offspring had earlier been arrested for allegedly speeding up Yonge St north of the city. Both family members reportedly failed the breathalyzer. No word as to who earned dinner-table bragging rights by blowing the higher score, however.
The Toronto Sun is asking anyone who knows the accused to contact their City Desk at 416-947-2211 with some juicy gossip. The craziest tale just might make the front page…
