Tag Archives: Tim Tebow

COMMENT OF THE DAY: The following headlines would sure spice up the Globe’s Tim Tebow trade story…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/football/tim-tebow-traded-to-new-york-jets/article2376642/

Y’know, I’d said all along I could see the Jets throwing Mark Sanchez under the bus for Peyton Manning.  I did not, however, expect them to screw Sanchez for… Tim Tebow!  But as it turns out, the J-E-T-S acquired Jesus’ homeboy today for fourth- and sixth-round draft picks.  That isn’t much of a price to pay for the Comeback Player of the Millennium, but hey, the kid only completed 47 per cent of his passes last year.

Then again, there’s no guarantee that Tebow ascends into New York’s starting lineup.  Keep in mind that they did just offer Sanchez a 40-million-dollar extension earlier this month, whereas God’s last quarter disciple works his magic for 40 loaves and a few small fishes (okay, $1.942-million in 2012, $2.266-million in 2013 and $2.590-million in 2014).  Mind you, this could be an ideal situation for both QBs.  Sanchez isn’t really known as a clutch player, while Tebow can’t hit the broadside of a chapel for the first three quarters of a game.  I know that baseball’s concept of the closer has never been applied to the gridiron before, but it might not be a bad idea in this case.

Alas, while the Globe and Mail applied the stodgy “Tim Tebow traded to New York Jets” headline to its AP wire story, I much prefer the following suggestions from its comment section:

 

That said, you could never fit the former onto a piece of newsprint…

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Peyton Manning is now a free man. Time for the Seahawks to swoop in!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In case you didn’t know, the Indianapolis Colts released Peyton Manning today, ending a 14-year relationship between the team and arguably the greatest quarterback of the 21st century.  (The book’s still out on Tim Tebow.  I mean, we’re still in the Old Testament! ;) )  Now a couple weeks shy of 36, and coming off of neck surgery, the QB is looking for a new team.  Everyone from the Jets to the Redskins to the Eagles are rumoured to be interested, with Jerry Rice even suggesting the Niners should enter the mix.  But you know who’s “ready to spend” to get Peyton?  The Seattle Seahawks–at least according to some guy on Twitter, republished on SI.com.  As a Seahawks fan, I fully support this endeavour.

Let’s face it, the Hawks don’t have a starting quarterback.  They let Hasselbeck go too early, hoping that Tavaris Jackson would fill the void, which is kinda like hoping it will snow on Christmas–in Acapulco.  And while the peanut-butter-and-tuna-fish combination of Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst could only lead the team to a 7-9 record, they do have a talented receiving corps when all the pieces are healthy, with experienced vets like Sidney Rice and Mike Williams and young up-and-comers Doug Baldwin and Golden Tate, not to mention two pass-catching tight ends in Zack Miller and John Carlson.  Throw in a Beast(mode) of a running back coming off a career year–and just signed to a new, big-money contract–and you’ve got a pretty explosive offense in need of a leader.  And that’s where Peyton would come in.

Yahoo Sports writer Michael Silver ranks the Seahawks sixth amongst Manning’s potential suitors, just ahead of the Jets, but behind the Redskins.  That said, I think we can scratch the first three teams off his list: the Texans and Broncos already have their franchise QBs, even though Matt Schaub is hurt and Tebow is, well, Tebow.  Meanwhile, the Niners are said to be close to offering a long-term deal–to their current quarterback, Alex Smith.  The Dolphins and the Redskins both have the means to get a deal done, particularly the former, but having watched their offense get shut out by the Bills last fall, I can safely say that they don’t have the weapons.

Miami, on the other hand, boasts two explosive players in Brandon Marshall and Reggie Bush, though it could be argued that neither is really a character guy.  Marshall begged out of Denver, while Bush got paid to play at USC–and also dated Kim Kardashian.  That said, Marvin Harrison wasn’t such a nice guy off the field, as the thugs down in Philly can attest.  While Peyton might wanna stay in the AFC, he would hafta play both the Pats and the Jets twice a year with Miami–along with the fearsome Bills.  Hey, if he’s looking for a challenge, he would certainly find it in the AFC East…

That said, most sources seem to suggest that Peyton wants to win another title before his time is up.  And of the teams showing a serious interest, I think his best shot is Seattle–unless the Jets want to throw Mark “Dirty” Sanchez under the bus.  (I think the odds are about 50-50 on that one.)  The NFC has long been the weaker conference, with the NFC West being its doormat division of late.  Other than two games a year against the Niners, the Hawks have a pretty easy schedule in a city where it never snows.  A first-round bye and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs (I don’t see the Packers repeating their record from last season) provides an easy path for Peyton to Super Bowl XLVII.  In fact, I already picked the Hawks to win next year’s game (scroll down for it)–and that was assuming they’d hafta trade Lynch for Manning!  With both players in the lineup, the Hawks would be unstoppable.  All Peyton has to do is sign on the dotted line… ;)

My Super Bowl prediction, revisited…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Three weeks ago, when the matchups for the the conference finals had just been determined, I predicted that the Giants would beat the Pats in the Super Bowl.  Mind you, I was a little off on my semi-final predictions, taking New York by seven over San Fran, and New England by 15 against Baltimore.  In the end, each game came down to a last-second field goal–a make in OT by the Giants, and a miss by the Ravens that sent the Pats to Indy.  With that said, I’d like to reconsider my prediction on the big game itself.

Here’s what I said on Jan 16th:

So, here we have the 15-3 Pats against the 12-7 Giants.  Hmm, does this picture look familiar, at all?  Back in 2008, the 13-6 football Giants took on the 17-0 Pats and pulled off an upset for the ages, holding Tom Brady and co to a measly two touchdowns and winning 17-14 on some late-game heroics by David Tyree, he of the four regular-season receptions.  For them to win again, I think this stands to be another low-scoring effort.  The Giants offense is more potent this season than it was four years ago, but it still doesn’t stack up to Brady and the Pats.  Did I mention that he threw for six scores last weekend?

But can a 29th-ranked pass defence hold New England to two TDs?  Probably not.  Good thing the Patriot defense is ranked second-last in yards allowed.  They ain’t stopping nobody, either!  And while their opponent does give up three and a half fewer points per game, I still like the Giants.

In fact, I see this one heading down the stretch, tied at 35, when Eli lofts a pass to the unlikeliest of heros–backup QB David Carr, in as the sixth receiver for a specially-drawn up Hail David play, on which center David Bass and left guard David Diehl also go long.  Although the pass sails high, Carr pins it against Tim Tebow’s helmet for the game-winning score.  How does Tebow’s helmet get on the field in Indianapolis?  That’s for me to know, and you to find out.  Let’s just say that Jesus has a score to settle with Bill Belichick. ;)

And your final score is… Giants 42, Pats 35!

…

And here’s what I think now.  In light of recent developments, I don’t see this game being as high-scoring.  Sure, the two teams put up comparable point totals in their conference semi-finals, but you know what they say: defense wins championships.  In Week 9, the Giants went into Foxboro, winners of five of their last six, and shocked the Patriots 24-20 on a last-second TD by Eli Manning to rookie TE Jake Ballard, he of the 41 career catches (including postseason).

New York has proven they can beat New England, not only in the regular season, but also in the Super Bowl a few years back.  That’s why I still think they win this game, and once again, it goes down to the wire.  In fact, we’re all tied at 20 with 11 seconds left, when the Giants call timeout to set up a 32-yard field goal.  Lawrence Tynes trots onto the field–or at least some guy wearing his number 9 jersey does, only he’s six-foot-three and 236 pounds.  After nailing the game-winning field goal right down the middle, he kneels down in prayer, the camera zooms in… and its Tim Tebow!  That’s right, Tim Tebow wins the Super Bowl!  Talk about divine intervention!

As Al Michaels has a heart attack in the broadcast booth, the Giants kicker jumps up in celebration, and tears his ACL.  As he’s carried off the field, it turns out that it wasn’t Tebow, but free agent kicker Bill Gramatica!  The Lord sure works in mysterious ways…

Giants 23, Pats 20 — karma’s a bitch!

MY MAN OF THE YEAR: Rob Fucking Ford

Posted by gruesomegreg on

You know how Time Magazine does its Man of the Year?  Well, I figured I’d jump on that bandwagon.  Mind you, there aren’t any smelly hippies or peace-loving tent-dwellers to be found on my list.  Here are my five finalists, in ascending order.

5. Dixie Dave

There’s no denying that Dixie is the man.  In fact, here are 10 reasons why.

4. Tim Tebow

The man who put the Jesus in the National Football League, Tim Tebow has brought his Broncos and the Bible back with his late-game heroics this season.  The rookie QB has inspired a legion of followers that would make a Jehovah’s Witness jealous, and even ended up on SNL the other week.  Here, see for yourself:

3. Stephen Harper

After years of holding a minority government, Stephen Harper’s Conservatives finally won their strong, stable majority this year, picking up several seats following a snap election that was called due to his party being declared in contempt by the opposition.  Since then, Harper has hardly reached out to his contempt-holders, pulling such “jackboot shit” (eh, Pat Martin?) as pushing the budget through parliament with little time for debate, extending jail sentences for potheads and juvies and buying expensive jets–that are still in development–while getting rid of such key icons of Canadiana as the Wheat Board and the gun registry.  Stephen Harper: The reason why I don’t vote Conservative.

2. Patrick Bateman

While TIME can give its “Person of the Year” award to the Occupy Wall Street protestors, I happen to see the other side.  Pat Bateman is rich, good-looking and has a great body–though he’s probably a closet homosexual who does a lot of cocaine.  He works on Wall Street, for Pierce & Pierce.  Have you heard of it?  Bateman has all the characteristics of a human being, but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion–except for greed and disgust.  He also makes $360,000 dollars a year, adjusted for inflation.  Patrick Bateman, you are the one per cent!

1. Rob Fucking Ford

Whether it’s berating 911 operators, boycotting the Star or his never-ending quest to stop the gravy train, the mayor of this city has been an endless source of amusement this year.  In fact, Ford is so funny that he almost makes us forget that Mel Lastman called in the army to shovel snow at the turn of the century.  (If only the ROC–Rest of Canada–would let it go already!)  Suffice to say that if a serious candidate emerges in the next municipal election, Ford will be gone like a stain washed with OxyClean–but I hope that some local business has the sense to hire him for its TV commercials, even if it’s his family’s. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Two Long Island high school kids suspended for Tebowing!? What is the world coming to?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/football/two-new-york-students-suspended-for-organizing-tebowing/article2273819/

A sad story out of New York City today, as two students were suspended for organizing a massive act of Tebowing.  That’s right, Tim Tebow’s signature stance got a couple of 17-year-olds kicked outta class.  

Apparently, twin brothers Connor and Tyler Carroll and 40 of their fellow students at Riverhead High School on Long Island dropped down to one knee and rested their forehead on their fists in the school hallway.  The twins were promptly punished for “blocking others from getting to class,” according to the Associated Press.  But they don’t even get a day off to Tebow in the comfort of their own homes, as the article reveals that “Connor served an in-school suspension Friday. Tyler serves his punishment Monday.”  An in-school suspension?  Isn’t that kinda like working from home? ;)

Mind you, I can think of several more-suspendable offenses that the teens could’ve been involved in, and so can this guy:

 

(Perhaps they could send teabags to the principal in protest?)