As you may have noticed, this blog has been awfully quiet on the political front lately. I’d hafta say a large part of it was Rob Ford’s announcement that he had cancer. Making fun of a man with cancer just isn’t cool…and his brother, Doug, isn’t as much of an easy target. (Whoops, sorry!) That said, I’d probably vote for ex-Raptors point guard T.J. Ford before casting my ballot for a card-carrying member of Ford Nation…again.
Yeah yeah, but I’ve already apologized enough for that, haven’t I? In any case, I cast my ballot tonight towards the right-of-centre candidate that stands the best chance of beating anybody named after the Model T. But it was not strictly a strategic vote–here are 10 reasons why I’m backing John Tory:
TOP 10 REASONS I VOTED FOR TORY
10. In debates, he seems like the smartest guy in the room. I usually vote for the smartest guy—or woman—in the room.
9. He comes from a long line of lawyers…oh wait, this is supposed to be reasons why to vote for him. :P
8. He looks better in suspenders than Patrick Bateman.
7. His radio show was better than Rob Ford’s.
6. As Mayor of Toronto, he can’t actually increase funding for faith-based schools.
5. According to No Jets T.O., he secretly wants jets at Toronto Island airport. I not-so-secretly want jets at Toronto Island airport!
4. He has one of the best names in politics. Is it any wonder they once picked him to lead the provincial PC party?
3. Cuz let’s face it, somebody’s gotta fix the fucking transit in this city!
2. He was the CFL commissioner who saved the league from bankruptcy in the 90’s…and introduced the slogan “Our Balls are Bigger!”
1. His last name’s NOT Ford!
(Suffice to say that if Letterman steals my list tonight, Torys LLP will be in touch. ;) )