Tag Archives: reality TV

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Guidos in Space? Yeah Buddy!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/05/10/at-least-35-canadians-among-the-8000-who-have-applied-for-one-way-trip-to-mars/

The Mars Project aims to send four reality-show contestants to the Red Planet in 2023, funding their expedition through “an as-yet-unspecified ‘global media event’ that will feature the astronauts and their preparation.”  And you thought surviving a Japanese game show was tough?

Although the organizers prefer to use the term “educational project” instead of “reality TV show,” there’s no denying that MTV has a hole in its prime-time lineup after that Buckwild guy done got dead, so they obviously need to do something to attract the Jersey Shore crowd:

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Wait, can you say Snooki & JWOWW… in Space!?  I might actually tune in to that one!

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RIP Gandee Candy…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Never thought I’d use this space to eulogize a reality TV star, but here we go.  And no, I’m not talking about that doctor from Koh-Lanta, either.  Frankly, if my medical career had gone so off-track that I was providing first-aid on a reality show, I’d kill myself too–even if a contestant didn’t die first.

But that’s beside the point.  Shain Gandee didn’t take his own life; he died doing what he loved, crazy redneck West Virginian that he was.  The star of MTV’s Buckwild, which put the Mountain State back on the map, Gandee passed away in a mudhole due to carbon monoxide poisoning, a bad case of muddin’ gone wrong.  And if you watched the show, you’d know that Gandee Candy wasn’t just a star, he was definitely the star.  If Snooki and The Situation had sex in a Sissonville trailer-park, their bastard love child might be something like Shain.  (Love the redneck spelling, by the way.)

Which is not to say he was a Guido; hell, the hills of Sissonville are many miles away from the Jersey Shore, even though MTV made a conscious effort to present his show as some sorta backwoods spin-off of their most popular program.  But while the Shore House gang’s rap sheets were full of public intoxications and dance-club brawls, shit down in West Virgina gets a lot more serious.  Case in point: Salwa Amin, the Bengali beauty who liked to take her top off, has now been arrested twice for possession of both hillbilly heroin and actual horse. (And no, I didn’t say an actual horse; that’s probably not even illegal down in those parts…)  Something tells me she won’t be back for Season 2.  If they even have a Season 2, that is.

MTV had already renewed Buckwild for another summer, but they’ve obviously suspended shooting in the wake of Gandee’s death.  Cuz unlike Mike, who’s a dick, and Snooki, who’s a ditz–characters you tune in to make fun of–Gandee Candy was a guy you actually wanted to root for.  I mean, his pal Tyler was a playa and Joey’s got the IQ of a Seaside Heights houseplant, but Shain was just a good guy, man.  He didn’t have the looks or anything, but his country-boy charm and hair-brained redneck schemes stood out above all the two-timing, cat-fighting and bitching.  And when he finally woos ex-lingerie model Cara–by spelling out their initials with road flares!–in the final episode, it was like he scored one for fat, hairy rednecks everywhere.  And he didn’t even hafta design a duck-call to do it! ;)

Sooo, will the show survive another season without Shain?  While I don’t doubt MTV already has a hush-hush casting call ongoing for a new back-country hillbilly to take his place, it just won’t be the same.  Cuz you can replace an Angelina, no problem, but if Pauly D were to die in a blow-dryer fire, the Music Television Network would be forced to cancel Snooki & JWOWW out of respect.  (C’mon maaaan, is that show still going!?)

“You’re under arrest. Now could you please sign this waiver for our reality show?”

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Migrant workers in Vancouver are incensed after Shaw reality series Border Security caught some of them on camera during a CBSA raid on an East Van construction site.  It appears the producers’ policy was to shoot first, hand out waivers later.  As per the CBC, “Oscar Mata says when he was in custody, producers asked him to sign a release so they could broadcast his image.”  I presume that there wasn’t a six-figure salary attached to said contract, like those Real Housewives of Vancouver are getting…

But Force Four Entertainment, which produces the show, insists on no wrong-doing.  Spokesman Andrew Poon reportedly said in a statement “no one is filmed without their advance verbal permission.”  Now who are we supposed to believe, a reality TV pitchman or an undocumented migrant worker?  Hey, that’s a pretty tough question; both score awfully low on the credibility scale.  Which isn’t to say that every migrant worker caught up in a CBSA crackdown entered the country under suspicious circumstances—but the concern is that their appearance on a reality show could potentially paint them all with the same brush.  Because no one wants to be recognized as Jose from that dock bust on Border Security when you’re applying for temporary seasonal work…

Of course, there are plenty of arrest and seizure shows south of the border, from Cops to The First 48 to Dog the Bounty Hunter and (insert repo show here).  That said, I’ve yet to see a Cops: Illegal Alien Edition.  (I’m sure it would get great ratings in Arizona, though.) And as the CBC points out, issues might arise if potential refugee claimants are captured on film and then sent back to their homelands, which surely must get the National Geographic Channel via satellite.  As if the persecuted didn’t have problems before, appearing on reality TV will only increase the scorn and ridicule levied against them—even if their participation was involuntary.  Then again, they were asked to sign a waiver at some point, so that makes it okay, right?  Right?

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Just as cool as Paula Abdul…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57570524-75/microsoft-is-cooler-than-it-used-to-be-say-half-of-those-polled/

This just in: Microsoft is cooler than you.  Well, cooler than it used to be, anyways.  According to a Reuters/Ipsos poll, some 50 per cent of 18- to 29-year-olds surveyed think Bill Gates and co are cooler than their past precedent.  But who participates in polls, anyways?  To really get to the pulse of America, the big M must turn to a more effective medium: reality TV!

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(Wait, when was Coolio ever a judge on American Idol?)

What’s the only Canadian city that would book the stars of Duck Dynasty for a club appearance?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

C’mon, you knew that was a rhetorical question, right?  While I wouldn’t fly back home to Calgary for this, I’d definitely buy a 10-dollar ticket if I was still living in Cowtown.  Not sure I’d spring for the $100 meet-and-greet package, but I do loves me some Duck Dynasty!

And yes, only in Calgary would there be an event called the Redneck Rowdy at a bar named Cowboys.  It’s not really a country bar, either–all the Calgary nightclubs have western-themed names: Cowboys, Outlaws, Desperados…  and then there’s The Back Alley.  And no, it’s not a gay bar.  Just another case of a club that doesn’t live up to its billing!

Anyways, I’m a little disappointed that they couldn’t get Uncle Si to attend this event.  I get that Willie’s the face of the company, but Si is really the star of the show.  Y’know, I would actually pay to have a glass of iced tea with the guy, as long as I didn’t hafta drink it from his Tupperware cup…

But alas, while I might be stopping over in Calgary en route to Las Vegas (more on that later), my rowdy redneck ass won’t be at Cowboys on the 14th.  Y’all should consider yourselves lucky–I woulda won that beard contest, hands down! :P

Looks like Mark Balelo’s man-purse couldn’t save his life…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

TMZ is reporting that Mark Balelo, the big-spender who made occasional appearances on the A&E hit show Storage Wars has passed away at the age of 40.  According to the entertainment gossip website, “Multiple sources close to Balelo tell us he was found dead in his car … which was parked and running in the garage at his auction house in Simi Valley, CA.”  Multiple sources, eh?  Does that mean they spoke to both Jarrod and Brandi?

TMZ, which considers carbon monoxide poisoning as the cause of death, also notes that “According to our sources, Balelo had been arrested for a drug-related offense on Saturday.”  Seems that all his money could pay for bail, but it couldn’t buy him happiness.  RIP.

GUILTY PLEASURES: Buckwild

Posted by gruesomegreg on

What do you get when you cross Jersey Shore with Duck Dynasty, deep in the heart of West Virginia?  MTV’s latest reality series, that’s what!  Taking over the Shore’s old Thursday night timeslot, this show follows a cast of barely-legal coeds and backwoods country bumpkins who like to go clubbing (they actually hit up a venue called Karma, in fact) when they’re not doing stupid shit.  And speaking of stupid shit, well, you’ve got burnouts, jumping off roofs and train tracks, bull-riding, and of course, shooting guns.  What redneck reality series wouldn’t be complete without some target practice?

The thing is, while I found Jersey Shore‘s guido club culture about as nauseating as seeing Snooki give birth on live TV, the West Virgina version oddly appeals to me.  Of course, the state senator wants it cancelled, but hey, he probably doesn’t wanna be reminded of the good old days when he shot firecrackers out of a potato gun.  Or, apparently it has something to do with cultural stereotypes, but anyhoo…

Did I mention that they actually let amateurs ride bulls at what passes for a rodeo in West Virgina?  Amateur women, no less?  Suffice to say, last week’s episode was rather entertaining.

So, is Buckwild the next Jersey Shore?  Something tells me it won’t last six seasons, but at least MTV had the right idea by starting ‘em young.  I’m told the Shore started going downhill once its cast began pushing 30.  Or maybe it was that ill-fated trip to Italy where it jumped the shark.  Not that I’ve ever watched Jersey Shore, or anything…

Storage Wars is still real to me, damnit!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Not long after I made a joke about voting Dave Hester off Storage Wars, it seems that’s exactly what happened—and now Captain Yuuup is about to bring down the whole ship.  In a 15-page wrongful-termination suit filed yesterday, Hester alleges what some people have long suspected: the show is simply staged for the cameras.

In the suit, Hester contends that “A&E regularly plants valuable items or memorabilia,” including a BMW and those massive piles of Elvis newspapers Hester won that one time.  The suit also states that when “Hester complained to producers that A&E’s fraudulent conduct of salting and staging the storage lockers was possibly illegal, he was fired from the Series.”  Yikes!

Furthermore, in his lawsuit, Hester states that “nearly every aspect of the Series is faked, even down to the plastic surgery that one of the female cast members underwent in order to create more ‘sex appeal’ for the show.”  Gee, I wonder which female cast member he might be referring to… ;)

Auctioneer Dan Dotson, however, denied Hester’s claims, telling TMZ that “We only sell legitimate units on Storage Wars. Every unit goes through a 64-day legal process and no one has access to units prior to auction.”  A rep for A&E chimed in, adding “We do not know about a lawsuit being filed and we do not comment on pending or threatened litigation.”  Something tells me they’re about to find out, though…

Storage Wars, you do not have what it takes to beat Ink Master. Pack up your units and leave!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Season Three of Storage Wars (re)starts tonight, which would normally be cause for celebration in the Casa del Espantoso (sadly, gruesome doesn’t have a more direct Spanish translation)–but I’m not really feeling it this time around.  I mean, I sat through two years and three (almost) full seasons of the storage-locker auction showdown, but I just can’t get up for it anymore.  Y’see, in the interim, a new reality show has taken its place in my viewing schedule, and I just don’t think Dave Hester, Darrell Sheets, Jarrod and Brandi have what it takes to beat Ink Master anymore.

I mean let’s face it, Storage Wars has descended into petty squabbles, bickering and overbidding of late.  Each of these newly-crowned reality-show superstars wants to throw his wallet around while tossing out lame put-downs like it’s 1994.  Whatever, dude.  They then take whatever items they find to be appraised–the ones that they don’t simply assign a nominal value to–and are awarded “profit points” based on what they’re told an item is worth.  Never mind that they don’t see a red cent until they actually sell the thing; that’s just not what the show’s about.

In fact, the show’s focus seems to have changed over the years.  It used to be about finding all these great items buried under a pile of crap, but now it’s “You won’t believe what Darrell said about Dave on this week’s show!”  I dunno man, but all this overblown, whiny, “my wallet is bigger than your wallet” drama has worn on me already.  In fact, I haven’t watched a single re-run episode since last season ended, or went on hiatus, or whatever you wanna call it.  Now if they did a prime-time special about Brandi Passante’s legal drama, I’d probably tune in to that, though…

On the other hand, the Ink Master competition takes a little more talent than the ability to yell “Yuuup” the loudest.  These artists must show their versatility by tattooing in a variety of styles, with the worst example in each weekly challenge getting someone sent home.  (Sadly, Storage Wars can’t just eliminate Dave Hester…)  Sure, like I’ve said before, giving the winner of the weekly flash challenge the ability to assign the human canvasses does add a little more drama, but at this point in the competition, the biggest drama queens (Clint, Kay Kutta) have already been sent home.  Here’s hoping that Sarah’s next.  Her bitching is worse than Darell on a day he gets outbid for everything!

But wait, what’s this?  Storage Wars airs at 9 (and 9:30) now, while Ink Master doesn’t start till 10?  Oooh, but that’s the same time as New Girl (and The Mindy Project).  Oh-oh, better get TiVo…

If The Amazing Race Canada needs some ideas, they know where to find me…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Canadian Press is reporting that Canadian couch potatoes will soon be getting their very own, made-in-Canada version of The Amazing Race Canada.  “With the world’s second-largest country as its backdrop, The Amazing Race Canada will offer a unique glimpse of the broad and diverse Canadian landscape and culture, while maintaining all of the excitement, spontaneity and challenge inherent in The Race,’” the series’ co-creator stated in a press release.

Now, I have actually been to every single gosh-darn province in this country—except Newfoundland—so, since the series is still in its early preliminary stages, here are a few suggested challenges for the upcoming season:

  • Prairie-oyster eating contest.  This is a mandatory requirement for citizenship in Alberta.
  • Hitchhike to the Yukon.  They say northern B.C. is where hitchhikers go to die—and hey, who doesn’t love a good reality TV death?
  • Scavenger hunt in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.  He who scores the most heroin wins!
  • Survive a winter night in Winnipeg.  If contest occurs in summer, substitute for a “Who can get the most mosquito bites?” contest.
  • Rush hour on the Gardiner.  Can you get from Oakville to Oshawa in less than three hours?
  • Run for political office in rural Quebec.  Don’t speak French?  Can’t find your riding on a map?  No problem, I hear the NDP is trying to break into provincial politics in la belle province…
  • Walk across Prince Edward Island.  Not only can it be done in a day, you can park your car over there, sir. ;)
  • Go to Newfoundland.  You might actually beat me to it.

Note that I didn’t mention anything to do in Saskatchewan.  That’s because there is nothing to do in Saskatchewan, especially if the show’s producers can’t get Riders tickets. :P