Pat Martin quits Twitter… Now who will we turn to for profane political tirades?

Tis a say day in the Twittersphere, as NDP MP Pat Martin, who gave us such classics as “This is a f—ing disgrace . . . closure again. And on the budget! There’s not a democracy in the world that would tolerate this jackboot s—,” has announced that his keyboard, smartphone et al have gone silent.  “I apologize for my regrettable and inappropriate language yesterday. It seems some people shouldn’t tweet so with this, I sign off,” he tweeted today before pulling the plug.  Surely, Canadian politics will never be the same!

It seems that Martin had a bit of a fit last night over not being invited to an announcement in his riding by Vic Toews over some Youth for Christ centre.  I don’t believe Toews ever responded, at least not via social media, but the National Post and Maclean’s both offer a breakdown of what went down, including another appearance by that “dreaded f-word.”  Oh, and he also called the Conservatives “rat faced whores…”

Alas, it seems the decision to quit Twitter was made by Martin after meeting Mulcair.  The Toronto Star reports that the latter’s press secretary, Karl Belanger, sent out an emailed statement, informing the media “These comments were simply inappropriate and unacceptable. Mr. Martin agrees and we understand that he has decided to stop using his Twitter account.”  So now, in order to enjoy Martin’s tirades, one will actually have to pick up a newspaper, or, y’know, pony up 6 bucks a month to read the Toronto Sun online…

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COMMENT OF THE DAY: Keep the potential parade marshalls out of politics!


On the latest episode of As the World Turns around Stephen Harper, it was revealed today that the misleading automated message informing voters of a fictional polling-station change in a handful of hotly-contested ridings was done through a voice-broadcast company called Racknine Inc. that has previously been employed for several Conservative campaigns… including Herr Harper’s, himself!  OMGz!

Naturally, Pat “Pitbull” Martin was quick to respond, eschewing the Nazi rhetoric this time for references to Black Ops and the Deep South.  But y’know, when I started seeing headlines mentioning “robocalling” and the NDP, I couldn’t help but think back a couple weeks to when they “harassed” Lise St-Denis by redirecting constituents to her busy phone line via automated message.  Then again, she committed the grievous sin of crossing the opposition side of the floor to the Liberals!

Man, no matter which party flag they fly, these politicos are all a buncha crooks, eh Rich?


I must concur.  If you can’t run a parade, you can’t run a country!


UPDATE 4:33 PM: The latest from the Prime Minister is that his party had no knowledge of the calls.  He’s not fooling this guy, however:



I gotta say, his comment made me laugh so hard I almost “urintated,” myself… ;)

Top Five Potty-mouthed Canadian Politicians of 2011

Friends, it seems that 2011 has been a banner year for bad behaviour amongst our elected officials, with more profanity flying across the hallowed halls than you’d hear at an Insane Clown Posse concert.  And this obscenity epidemic hasn’t been contained to the House of Commons either, as it’s infected all three levels of government within our great nation.  Please join me, friends, in counting down the top five foul-mouthed vote-getters of 2011.

5. Bob Rae

Early this afternoon, the interim Liberal leader took to Twitter in response to the musings of a Canadian Yale law student who felt that today’s political headlines are bringing the 90’s back.  Here, it’s easier if I show you the exchange:

WHAT HE SHOULDA SED INSTEAD: “What a Boob is this ?”  Rae, who apparently speaks French (though you wouldn’t know it from the top nav on his web site) would probably be familiar with the concept of autodérision, a particularly French brand of self-deprecating humour.  Had he referenced that particularly harsh Toronto Sun headline from the early 90’s, we’d all be saying “Score one for Bob Rae!” instead of “Did Bob Rae just say bullshit on Twitter!?”

4. Pat Martin

On November 16th, the NDP MP for some unfortunate part of Winnipeg traveled forward in time to read Rae’s Twitter bullshit, then went back and raised him a fucking disgrace and a jackboot shit.  He then told repliers to eat his shorts and to fuck off.

WHAT HE SHOULDA SED INSTEAD: Instead of dropping an f-bomb on one of his Twitter followers, Martin coulda stuck with the Simpsons and tweeted “Don’t Have a Cow, Man!” or posted a picture of Nelson pointing and said “Ha Ha!”  Then again, he certainly did have a cow when he made his initial remark…

3. Norman MacMillan

Back in September, the Liberal member of Quebec’s National Assembly called political opponent Sylvie Roy a “grosse crisse” in the middle of a parliamentary session.  Though seated at the time, MacMillan’s remark was picked up by his desk-mate Pierre Moreau’s mic as Moreau addressed the room. And while it literally translates to “fat Christ,” the Toronto Sun’s translation of the epithet had visions of Rob Ford dancing in my head.

WHAT HE SHOULDA SED INSTEAD: Nothing.  After all, Pierre Moreau had the floor.  Besides, as Martin Ward would say “Un peu de respect pour la dame!”

2. Justin Trudeau

You’ve probably heard the story about how the younger Trudeau rose in the House of Commons today to call Peter Kent a piece of shit in the zaniest Liberal contribution to Question Period since Scott Brison suggested that the Conservative caucus likes to pee on each other.  The only thing that woulda made this more entertaining woulda bin if Maxime Bernier had stood up and shouted “En français!”  (In case you’re wondering, it’s « petite merde ».)

WHAT HE SHOULDA SED INSTEAD: Although I understand his frustration, Trudeau would’ve come off as less insulting if he’d broken into an impromptu version of Adam Sandler’s “Ode to My Car” by adding the word “car” to the end of his epithet.  He woulda had to stop the song short of the end of the chorus however, lest he come off as even more offensive. ;)

1. Rob Fucking Ford

After being scared half-to-death by a comedian reporter with a plastic sword, the mayor of this city called 911 and unleashed a verbal tirade on whichever poor smuck happened to pick up the phone that day.  Mind you, if you read the Sun, you probably believe that he never called anyone bitches, asked them if they fucking knew, or said “I’m Rob Fucking Ford, the mayor of this city!”  Personally, I think he probably did.  Hey, have you seen my gallery of Rob Fucking Ford JPEG artwork?

WHAT HE SHOULDA SED INSTEAD: Honestly, if I had written that speech myself, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.  By the way, isn’t Rob Fucking Ford looking for a new fucking speechwriter?

Pat Martin pulls a Rob Ford on Twitter. And no, he’s not sorry!

Hey, swearing doesn’t count when it’s on the internet, right?  It seems that Manitoban NDP MP Pat Martin got a little carried away over the lack of debate on the budget yesterday, taking to Twitter to express his frustration is a profanity-laced tirade.  And, according to CTV, the fun didn’t stop there…

“But that wasn’t all. Martin went on to tell off followers who criticized his post, telling one person to “F— off” and directing the Bart Simpson-coined expression “Eat my shorts” at another.”

But while Rob F—king Ford denied using profanity towards an whaaambulance operator, Martin owned up to his angry outburst, and “and refused to apologize for what he called a sincere response to extraordinary circumstances.”  (Is that what he really said?  Or was it more like “I ain’t f—king sorry for nothing!  Stephen Harper is a b—hass muthaf–ka!”?)

And yet his (interim) leader stands behind him, stating “His language was not appropriate and could have been offensive to some.  That said, the Conservatives’ actions are not appropriate in a democracy and offensive to all Canadians.”

Indeed, the Conservatives so offended the entire country that they were reduced to four seats in Parliament in the last election.  Wait, what’s this?  They have a majority government!?  How did that happen!? 

Either Nycole Turmel is talking trash, or Canadians expect the same form of entertainment from their politicians as they do from their late-nite television programs.  Did I mention there’s a new episode of Beavis and Butthead on MTV tonite? ;)


UPDATE: 3:08 PM Well, according to the National Post, Martin actually did say “It was an honest expression of frustration of somebody trying to do their job,” on which they quote him verbatim.  The Post also points out that Martin came to the House of Commons from the construction industry, where his outburst would be considered “normal industrial language.”  A real man of the people, Pat Martin…