Big story out of St. John’s, Newfoundland, where kamikaze crows are attacking local residents. As the CBC reports, “Crows have had such a strong presence near the Anglican Cathedral that church officials posted a sign warning pedestrians of a sudden attack.” Because only in Newfoundland will you see a sign that says “Look oot for da crows dere, bye!”
However, as one local law-office worker knows, those crows ain’t no laughing matter. “The crow just came out of nowhere and he hit me in the back on the head first,” Helen Mackey told her local CBC affiliate. “Then he grabbed into my head and he started going for this earring … and then he just kept hitting me with his wings and he wouldn’t get off.” You take off, eh?
In other Newfie news, the local Liberals are getting tough on crime—by catching escaped convicts in their backyards. According to the CBC, “Gerry Byrne, a Liberal who represents Humber-St. Barbe-Baie Verte in the House of Commons, was at his home in Corner Brook when he noticed a man in his 30s quickly walking through a wooded area at the back of his property.” The CBC then reported the following exchange between inmate and MP:
“How’s it going, buddy,” Byrne said in an interview Tuesday.
“He puts his head up and looks straight me in the eye and says, ‘Not bad, b’y.’ “
“I said, ‘Are you OK, buddy?’ and with that he says, ‘Will be in a few minutes,’” Byrne said in an interview.
Except that he wasn’t OK—after Byrne called the cops to report a suspicious character. Turns out the man had escaped from custody while being taken to the hospital before his court appearance. But the Liberal MP doesn’t want to take too much credit. “I don’t want to minimize this, but he just had to get where he was going, in his mind,” Byrne said.
Truer words ‘ave ne’er been spoken, buddy!
