Tag Archives: NHL

Nope, still not a Leafs fan…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

On Friday, I was telling anyone who’d listen that the Leafs-Bruins series would end that night.  Of course, I was wrong.  Though the Leafs barely hung on in the third period, they still managed to hold off the Bruins to extend the series.  And while neither side brought their A game in Game 6, the Leafs were definitely the better team.  So they came back from 3-1 down to force Game 7.  Congrats.  But you’re not gonna see me out there freezing my balls off in Maple Leaf Square or anything.

The fact of the matter is that I’m just not a Leafs fan.  I couldn’t possibly stand around outside surrounded by Blue and White with those guys holding up replica Cups without resisting the urge to chant “19-67!  19-67!” in a highly non-complimentary fashion.  And I’d probably be the only one cheering after that epic collapse from up 4-1 in the third period to losing in OT.  Well, maybe not cheering, but certainly not in break stuff mode, anyways.

Of course, as a Flames fan, I haven’t had a team to cheer for in the playoffs in a little while.  And while I can kinda relate to the way the Leafs played in Game 5–score two goals and hold on for dear life is classic Calgary Flames hockey–I can’t say they’ve won me over with tonight’s epic collapse.  This is the first time the Leafs have even made the playoffs since I’ve been living here, and I moved to Toronto in 2005.  Considering that I’m a Flames fan first and foremost from October until early April, a team with such a track record of post-lockout postseason non-participation is not going to earn my support.  Even if I live here.  But hey, maybe if they make it past the second round, one of these decades…

Mind you, I’ll be joining Leafs fans in cheering against Ottawa in Round 2.  Not that I have anything against the Sens, or the nation’s capital–hell, my folks live 10 minutes from the rink–but I’m wearing my brand-new Iginla jersey in support of the greatest black hockey player of all time.  (PK Subban?  Come talk to me in 10 years!)  Iggy’s on a mission from the hockey gods to take home the Cup, which is precisely why he vetoed that trade with Boston.  Cuz clearly, the Bruins aren’t going all the way this year.  I mean, they can’t possibly expect to play that poorly for the better part of three games and escape with a series win against any team that’s won the Cup since 1967. ;)

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FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Pieu

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Pieu: A long piece of wood, metal or concrete used to reinforce a building, ie pillar, post.

As seen in: « Gracieuseté d’un employé du chantier de construction, une rondelle officielle de hockey à l’effigie du Canadien Montréal se trouve dans l’un des pieux du futur nouvel amphithéâtre, ce qui a provoqué de vives réactions, hier, plusieurs «craignant le mauvais sort». »

(Translation: “Courtesy of a construction-site worker, an official Montreal Canadiens hockey puck was placed in one of the pillars of the future new amphitheatre, which provoked strong reactions yesterday, several fearing bad luck.”)

http://www.journaldequebec.com/2013/04/30/une-rondelle-du-ch-dans-les-fondations-de-lamphitheatre-de-quebec

I take it that Kevin Lowe’s Country Bunker plays both kinds of music…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

There were shades of The Blues Brothers in a recent Edmonton Oilers press conference, where the team re-introduced Craig MacTavish as its general manager.  Oilers president Kevin Lowe, he of the six Stanley Cups—and don’t you forget it—told the assembled media “We have two types of fans. We have paying customers and we have people that watch the game that we still care about.”  But not enough, apparently.  Also, Nickelback cover bands take note: If you play during the intermission of an Oilers game, Kevin Lowe expects you to pay for all the beers you drink. ;)

Suffice to say, fans in the since-rebranded City of Champions were not pleased.  As the Edmonton Journal reports, “There’s no doubt he offended many, including plenty who attended the Oilers game on Tuesday night, a 5-3 loss to the Minnesota Wild, Edmonton’s six (sic) straight defeat.”  The game, while initially sold out, saw several spectators attempt to beat the rush once their luck ran out.  As per the Journal, “many of them … departed en masse as soon as the winning 50/50 number was announced midway through the third period. ”  Which makes me wonder how many Edmontonians would show up if they had a 50/50 draw at a broomball tournament…

After watching his team sink in the standings, and be booed off the ice in its own building, Lowe was forced to issue a video apology, stating that he cares about all Oilers fans—except maybe Steve Smith—before adding, “And lastly I’ll say, there’s one other guy, I believe, in hockey today that’s still working in the game that has won more Stanley Cups than me.”  Because in Kevin Lowe’s Hockey Bunker, Larry Robinson, Jacques Lemaire and Scotty Bowman are no longer working in the game.  Something tells me he might wanna change that broken record…

Hey, how many first-overall picks does it take to make the playoffs?  More than three—if they play for Edmonton. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Leafs make the playoffs… Start planning the parade!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/leafs/2013/04/16/maple_leafs_poised_to_clinch_playoffs_tuesday_night.html

And in other hockey news, the Toronto Maple Leafs are about to accomplish something that hasn’t occurred since Justin Bieber was a fifth-grader.  With one more win—and a Winnipeg loss—the Leafs will make the playoffs for the first time in nine years.  And if you think the Toronto media bias is blowing this out of proportion, wait till you see the reaction from Toronto fans like this guy:

cotd416

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but the Leafs haven’t even made the finals since 1967.  How exactly is that worthy of respect? :P

And this little Kipper stayed home!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

For a while, it looked like he was headed to Toronto–as indicated by his play the other night (which prompted my most retweeted tweet ever)–but in the end, Miikka Kiprusoff will retire as a Calgary Flame, perhaps as early as next month.  The Leafs proved to be a rather aggressive suitor, as the franchise, which hasn’t made the playoffs since the ’04-’05 lockout, was understandably lacking a goalie with postseason experience.  But it seems that Kipper nixed any potential trade to Toronto in much the same fashion as Jarome Iginla broke Boston’s hearts about a week ago, preventing any possibility of him recreating this classic photo with Dion Phaneuf:

See, Kipper’s a classy guy.  He even wears a suit to the strip club!  Dion’s dressed in a tie-dye t-shirt, but hey, he was only 22 at the time…

Now, unfortunately for the Buds, they’ll be stuck with James Reimer and Ben Scrivens between the pipes.  They also couldn’t absorb Roberto Luongo’s cap hit, as the overpriced Vancouver backup reportedly told The Canadian Press, “My contract sucks.  Unfortunately, it’s a big factor in trading me, and it’s probably why I’m still here.  I’d scrap it if I could, right now.”  Suuure, you would just walk away from $6.7-million a year until 2018?  If so, I’ve got a chain of racist BBQ joints in Hamilton you might like to invest in…

But unfortunately for the Flames, they’ll be stuck with Kipper this season.  Don’t get me wrong, he was a great goalie, perhaps the best in franchise history, up until last year.  But since the latest lockout, he’s seemed disinterested and looked out of shape, getting hurt early and never getting back into the swing of things upon his return.  His season stats (6-10-2, 3.64 GAA and .868 save percentage) are simply shitterrific, amongst the worst in the league.  For the past few seasons, Saint Miikka almost single-handedly kept the team in playoff contention, but this year, he’s almost individually assuring us of the second-overall pick (cuz we all know Edmonton’s rigging the draft lottery until they get a new rink).  So, if he does decide to take his $5.83-million cap hit off the books next season (in which he’d earn a paltry 1.5 mil–Luongo 2020 numbers!), I shan’t be too sad to see him go.  It’s just somewhat unfortunate that he couldn’t end his career on a high note.  Then again, I suppose it couldda been worse–he could’ve retired as a Maple Leaf!  (Hell, I probably would’ve vetoed that trade too, and I actually live in Toronto now!)

Of course, between the Iggy trade and the Kipper non-trade, the Flames weren’t too active at the deadline, simply shipping Blake Comeau to Columbus for a fifth-round pick.  Guess I’ll be cheering for Columbus in the playoffs now, too; after adding Marian Gaborik, they could probably grab the eight-spot, which, unfortunately, would not allow them to oust Vancouver this season.  (Mind you, the Nucks seem poised to play L.A. again… :D )  But lest we forget, the Flames also picked up another first-round pick by dealing Jay “The Iron Pylon” Bouwmeester to St. Louis for a conditional (on the Blues making the playoffs) draft choice, along with a pair of prospects, one of whom actually plays goal.  Let’s just say that Flames fans will miss the league’s worst defenceman the way an uninsured American would miss a $6.6-million medical bill.  We’re also looking forward to seeing Reto Barra between the pipes next season, he of the 3.01 GAA and .906 save % in the Swiss Cheese Elite League, where most goalies have holes.  In a poll on the Flames official website, the 26-year-old backstop leads the other three recently-acquired prospects as the most highly-anticipated player, with nearly 35 per cent of the vote.

Hey, he’s probably better than Ben Scrivens…

Mr. T probably wouldda scored on Kipper, too!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

While Miikka Outtashaprusoff did allow a couple soft goals to the Blackhawks in last night’s game, by far the most impressive tally at the United Center that evening came in between periods, when noted thespian Mr. T launched a puck through the net… from centre-ice!  (Somewhere around the 1:30 mark below.)

As the legendary actor told a sideline reporter before the second-period shootout, he only had one prediction: “PAIN. I pity that puck. I pity it!”  But not enough to avoid firing it through the net from the red line.  That said, it would appear he actually pitied the first two pucks, as it took him three shots to beat the canvas cut-out.

Of course, since T’s prior attempts, as well as those of a woman in stiletto heels, all missed the net, the Coke Zero illustration finished the evening with a lower save percentage than the veteran Calgary netminder—and just three other NHL goalies with more than three appearances this season. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: The Sainte-Flanelle could soon have some divine competition!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/television/2013/02/12/stephen_colbert_says_canadian_cardinal_would_make_bad_pope.html

Because when Stephen Colbert makes fun of Canada, it makes Canadian headlines.  In his latest bit, Colbert suggests the future Pope could not be Canadian, because he would say “eh” and carry a hockey stick.  He then concludes that God’s an American because the Bible is written in English.  Judging by the comments on several news sites, it’s somewhat surprising how many of my countrymen can’t wrap their heads around the concept of satire (though I do concede that maple syrup, hockey and “eh” jokes aren’t particularly clever).  Then, on the other hand, there’s this guy:

cotd213

I can only assume the above comment was satirical.  After all, Ivan is not a French name.  Now, if it was Yvon, I’d have to stop and think about it…

Well, so much for that winning streak…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As previously stated, I’ve made a point of paying less attention to the Flames this season.  Sure, the fact that they’re tied for last in the West right now (a four-way tie, mind you) might have something to do with it–but unless they did the unthinkable and made the playoffs, I was not going to be scrambling to get back on the bandwagon, anyhoo.

That said, what with the team traveling to the Eastern Timezone last week, I was able to tune in for their games against Detroit and Columbus at a reasonable hour.  And I’ll be damned if they didn’t look pretty decent in the D, dropping Detroit 4-1 before coming back for an OT winner in Columbus.  But just when things were starting to turn the corner…

DOWN GOES MIIKKAAAA!!!

Hey, so the guy’s 36, and his lack of activity during the lockout likely didn’t help–he was off to a pretty shaky start to begin with.  But if the Flames were even in the playoff hunt these past few seasons, it was largely due to King Kipper standing on his crown on a nightly basis.  Without him, they’ll feel like they have been hit by a fuck.  I mean, Leland Irving has not looked like an NHL-caliber goalie these past couple games, although you can’t really blame him for the loss in Vancouver.  The Flames didn’t much look like an NHL-caliber team in that one.

Soooo, now they’re hosting Minnesota with the hopes that a win will put them within one point of the 11th-place Wild.  Incidentally, Minny is one of two teams without a road win thus far this season–the other being the Washington Capitals, the only team in the league with fewer points than Calgary.  Then again, the Flames are a less-than-scintillating 1-3-1 at home…

Hmm, it’s not too soon for them to Stop Winnin’ for MacKinnon, is it?

Because when I wanna know who’s gonna win a football game, I ask a buncha hockey players…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The results are in, and according to the NHL, your Super Bowl XLVII champions are the San Francisco 49ers.  NHL.com is reporting that after polling 17 current and one former player, “14 picked Colin Kaepernick to lead the 49ers to their first Super Bowl victory since Steve Young threw six touchdowns passes in a 49-26 victory against the San Diego Chargers in Super XXIX in 1995.”  Mind you, 1995 was the last time the NHL played a lockout-shortened season, so perhaps the PA is onto something here…

Amongst the players who picked the Niners was Sidney Crosby, who has SF 20, BAL 14 in perhaps the richest office pool this side of Wall Street.  No word as to how much Sid the Kid knows about the gridiron, but he has suffered several concussions, which are also a recurring injury in the NFL.  Meanwhile, Phoenix tough-guy and Twitter celeb Paul Bissonnette, who has an “admitted lack of knowledge about the NFL” according to NHL.com, sees it as a slightly higher-scoring affair; 28-24 Niners.  “I’ve been watching their new quarterback over the last nine games, and every week he seems to keep surprising people and getting better,” he told his team’s ownership.  ”He just kind of shows signs of maturity.”  This is coming from a guy who once tweeted “You can save a bunch of money on your future by switching to single. #ValentinesDay #Geico”  Not sure there’s much maturity in that statement!

Among the players who didn’t jump on the San Fran bandwagon were Shane Doan, who’s apparently buds with Terrell Suggs and Anquan Boldin, and Tyler Seguin of the Bruins, who NHL.com suggests “clearly had his eyes opened when the New England Patriots were soundly beaten in the AFC Championship, [and] predicted a 14-point victory for Baltimore.”  (I suspect his Beantown teammates Milan Lucic and Patrice Bergeron picked the Niners out of spite.)  But if there’s one voice of reason from the NHL survey that I’ll pay attention to, it’s Wayne Gretzky.  The Great One is picking the Ravens to win, 17-14.  And I’d assume he’d actually be able to foresee the outcome… After all, Gretzky is God, eh?

2013 could be the year that Edmonton finishes ahead of Calgary in the NHL standings. Maybe the Mayans were on to something…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

What’s worse than a season without NHL hockey?  One in which the Deadmonton Losers finish ahead of the Calgary Flames!  The Calgary Herald notes that this hasn’t actually happened since 2002-03.  As Herald sportswriter George Johnson reminisces, “Ales Hemsky was an apple-cheeked rookie, the ever-quotable MacT was behind the bench and the building just off Wayne Gretzky Drive still went by Skyreach Centre.”  Meanwhile, Miikka Kiprusoff was still in San Jose, and the Flames had only ever been coached by one Sutter, the less-than-lively Brian.  At the time, Calgary was in the midst of an extended playoff drought that ended the following year, when Kipper and (Darryl) Sutter joined the fold.  Since then, Calgary beating Edmonton became about as predictable as a fight Friday night on Whyte Ave.  (Gimme the Red Mile any day!)

But unfortunately for Flames fans, all that sucking leads to a happy ending, and the Oilers amassed not one, not two but three consecutive first-overall draft picks.  (Methinks they didn’t just suck in the standings to accomplish this, heh heh.)  With a slew of young superstars, Edmonton has become the new darlings of TSN, while Calgary is lucky to be shown on Hockey Night in Canada when they’re not playing another Canadian team.  As Johnson puts it, “the Oilers, out of blind luck more than astute planning, were stockpiling more diamonds than you’ll find in the most potent of Botswanan mines in South Africa.”  And now, those diamonds not-so-in-the-rough are starting to sparkle and shine.  One bozo from Sports Illustrated even placed the Oil third overall in his preseason power rankings.  The Flames, meanwhile, were 24th.

“Calgary is universally regarded as the group caught in the arthritic throes of decline, only now in the early stages of trying to reinvent itself,” Johnson laments.  Certainly, he is not alone in his views.  As the Oilers and Flames do battle, on HNIC, this Saturday, it’s looking like things could get ugly—for Calgary.  As if losing the first of many shootouts on the season to Vancouver the other night wasn’t bad enough… :(