It’s a bird… It’s a plane… It’s Newark Mayor Cory Booker!

Not only does he fight for Newark residents at City Hall, Mayor Cory Booker goes beyond the line of duty to protect his people.  Yesterday, on his way home from a TV interview, he came across a burning building with a woman trapped inside.  Being the Rhodes Scholar and gentleman that he is, Mayor Booker ran towards the flames and rescued his neighbour from the burning rubble, hurting his hand in the process.  ”Without thinking twice, he just ran into the flames and rescued this young lady,” said Newark Detective Alex Rodriguez during a morning appearance Friday on the CBS Morning Show.

Whoa.  A nicer guy couldn’t have happened to a shittier city!  I can only imagine what Rob Ford would’ve done.  Upon seeing the flames, he probably would’ve run home to fire up the grill and BBQ some cheeseburgers…

Alas, Mayor Booker’s exploits have led to a new hashtag on Twitter, #CoryBookerStories, which is being used to describe his Chuck Norris-like feats of heroism.  Among other epic achievements, Booker has allegedly:

  • Provided an on-the-spot kidney transplant—by ripping out his own kidney and donating it
  • Melted snow from old ladies’ driveways using laser vision
  • Served as Batman’s backup (When Batman needs help, he turns on the @CoryBooker signal)
  • Filled all the potholes on Elm Street by haunting Freddy Krueger’s dreams
  • Foiled the North Korean rocket launch
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