QMI Agency is reporting that a Satanic couple in Mountain View, California want the theft of an election sign from their property filed as a hate crime, although police plan on registering it as a regular theft.  Mind you, the sign that was stolen didn’t encourage supporters to vote for Obama, or even Ron Paul—but rather had “VOTE SATAN” printed on it in black lettering.  My first thought is, how do we know that this was an act of hatred, and not the work of an avid Slayer fan?  Mountain View is, after all, at the southern edge of the San Francisco Bay, not too far from the thrash mecca known as the Bay Area…

But Luigi and Angie Bellaviste must not have a copy of South of Heaven in the household, as they believe they’re victims of religious persecution.  “I feel like we’re being treated unfairly because it’s not a so-called mainstream religion,” Luigi said.  And it’s not like the sign stood alone on the property.  The Church of Satan members also have “their home decorated with satanic paraphernalia, including a black Christmas tree, skulls and the numbers 666,” as per QMI.

That said, I’m not sure the late Anton LaVey would approve of his followers whining to the cops about a hate crime.  It seems the Satanic Bible says ‘don’t get mad, get even.’  QMI states “they encourage vengeance, being unkind to people who don’t deserve kindness, and treating annoying guests ‘cruelly and without mercy.’”  Or, as Tom Araya would put it, “I take lives and show all no mercy this night/Attack those not knowing their fate”

(C’mon, how could these people be Satanists and NOT listen to Slayer!?)