The Toronto Blue Jays home opener is now just 8 days away, and Rogers Sportsnet is kicking it into overdrive. On Saturday afternoon, they aired a Jays spring-training game followed by Game 5 of the 1993 World Series. Hmm, I think they might be trying to suggest something… Sure, the Jays ought to be much-improved this season, but don’t bother trying to buy tickets for Opening Day–they sold out within the hour. And hey, there are 162 games in a Major League Baseball season, so whether or not they beat Cleveland next Tuesday is of very little consequence.
On the other hand, there is a completely consequential comedy competition occurring April 2nd that features yours truly. I’ll be part of a field of eight amateur stand-up artists vying for the princely sum of 30 dollars! OK, so that won’t buy you a pair of nosebleed seats at Rogers Centre, but it is three times what a typical comedian makes in a night. (Sadly, that’s no joke.) Anyhoo, the top four performers will advance to the next round of the Comedy Brawl, so I could really use your vote! In case you’re still on the fence as to whether you should watch baseball on TV or live stand-up comedy on the second of April, I’ll be giving you 10 reasons to choose the latter in the coming days.
Oh, and for more info about the April 2nd edition of the Comedy Brawl, click here.
10. I’m pretty sure I can throw straighter than R.A. Dickey.
9. There won’t be any anti-gay Spanish slurs on my eyeblack.
8. This won’t be anything like last time. I promise.
He’ll even write you a cheque for your surgery…
They don’t call it a stand-up routine for nothing. The thing is, you’re supposed to practice the same jokes until you can tell them in your sleep. So last night, I dreamed of buttsex and the TTC. I woke up with a sore ass and I was late for work. Go figure!
In any case, while I will be repeating the best material from my last show, I’m also introducing some new jokes in place of the stuff that didn’t go over so well. That’s what’s known as working on your routine. On that note, I’m still trying to perfect my Jamaican accent, mon. Only I don’t want it to be too good, cuz then it ruins the bit…
What de ‘ell iz ze whyte booi talkin’ boot? You’ll hafta come to the Crown and Tiger next Tuesday to find out.
Comedy Brawl Gauntlet #6 Tuesday, April 2nd @ Crown and Tiger, College and Bathurst, 8 pm. $5.