A couple weeks after a Miami man helped himself to a homeless open-face sandwich, Calgary police believe they encountered a man intoxicated by “bath salts” in the southwest part of the city, according to the Calgary Sun.  And apparently, they’re not just for dinner anymore.  The cops were called to the Bridlewood home at 8:30 in the morning Saturday by the parents of a male in his twenties, who were reportedly “fearful of his behaviour.”  (And no, that doesn’t mean they caught him jerking it to kiddie porn, either…)

In fact, it got to the point where the man had to be restrained.  ”In the process (of controlling him) they discovered that he had an extremely high pain tolerance and he was acting very aggressively and combatively,” an inspector told the Sun.  And to think, the Stampede doesn’t start until next weekend…

Hey, that might be a way to get the animal activists off of our backs.  Replace the raging bulls and bucking broncos with drugged-up ravers, and see how many cowpokes can last 8 seconds on top of them.  I know I’d pay to see that!