In one of the most outrageous eBay auctions I’ve seen since this guy was asking 125 grand for the “Only One Sealed Copy Know to Exist” of the first Beatles album, somebody has gone and put this 1972 Dodge Sportsman Royal Van up for auction. Clearly, it’s an old rustbucket with at least one flat tire, and they’ve gone and painted No Talent, the Black Flag logo, and a coupla stars on it, along with a fading portrait of KISS. So how much do you figure it would go for? A hundred bucks, maybe?
Try 100 grand. Y’see, this old POS was the Melvins’ first touring vehicle, known affectionately as the MelVAN, and those KISS faces were drawn on there by none other than Kurt Cobain. As its current owner explains, “it was given to him as a gift from original Melvins bassist Matt Lukin’s mother, knowing Ben was a die-hard fan, in 1992.” (No Talent was Ben’s band, by the way.) The thing hasn’t been registered since 1994 (go figure!) and nobody’s driven it in almost 15 years. Did I mention that it’s only available for pickup from a small town two hours from Seattle, and that it must be paid in full and picked up within 30 days!?
And you know what the craziest thing is? The reserve hasn’t even been met yet! Which means that if the auction ended today, buddy would not sell this thing for $99,999.99. I gotta wonder if this is just some kind of cheap publicity stunt, tied in to the upcoming online-only release of the Melvins new free EP. After all, the auction ends on the 13th, which also happens to be its release date. And then there’s this tidbit, posted in the bid’s Q&A section:
Q: whats the reserve on it?
A: Sorry, I can’t disclose that, Just remember as Kurt once said “You Can’t Believe Every Thing You Read, Now Can You ?”
Alas, something tells me that even if this van still runs, it won’t be leaving its parking space.