Tag Archives: Judas Priest

10+ Shitty Stadium Songs that I never wanna hear again!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

So, I was watching some college football this afternoon, when the stadium started playing the top song on this list during a crucial, late-game video review.  I wanted to either turn off the TV or throw something at it, but I had to know whether the touchdown would be called back, so I sat through an agonizing two minutes till the ref put down his headset to make the call.  This incident got me thinking about other songs I can’t stand hearing at sporting events.  As a fan of both sports and music, it’s rare that the tunes played at a game truly satisfy me, but these songs in particular really get me riled up, and not in a good way.

10. Anything by Nickelback

Now, I’m not an elite athlete by any stretch, but I just can’t imagine anyone who is getting fired up by Nickelback.  Rather than being inspired to achieve greatness, I’d be focused on just how much this band sucks, to the point that if I was playing first base and the batter came to the plate with a Nickelback tune playing, I’d probably pull a Bill Buckner when the ball was hit my way, then proceed to punch the base-runner in the face for having such crappy taste in music.

9. “YMCA” by The Village People

C’mon man, this is the 21st century.  Does anybody still think the YMCA is a popular dance–aside from stadium DJs?  As far as sporting dance crazes go, this one is worse than The Wave, the Chicken Dance and the Macarena–combined!

8. “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd/ “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” by John Denver

Unless you’re actually in Alabama, or some other backwoods, dirt-poor, redneck country-bumpkin hoedown, these songs should not be played in public.  Yes, I’m talking to you, Calgary Saddledome DJ…

7. “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex

While this probably doesn’t get as much airplay at the ballpark as it did in the 90′s, this Swedish sack of shit song has sure had a lot more staying power than “Whoomp There It Is” or “Who Let the Dogs Out?”.  I haven’t been to a Flames home game in a couple years, but I know they were using this song as the musical accompaniment to their “Make Some Noise – Fanometer” well into the aught’s.

6. “Breaking the Law”/”Living After Midnight”/”You Got Another Thing Comin’” by Judas Priest

Maybe if the arenas stopped playing these songs at sporting events, Judas Priest would be less compelled to play them on their arena tours.  Rob Halford doesn’t even sing “Breaking the Law” live anymore, letting the fans do all the work.  That’s how sick of it he is!  (Gimme “Sinner,” “Exciter” or “The Ripper” over those three tunes any day!)

5. “Blitzkrieg Bop” by the Ramones

Don’t get me wrong, the Ramones wrote lotsa great, catchy, memorable songs.  But this wasn’t one of them.  Johnny Ramone musta electrocuted himself on the intro, cuz he just bangs out the same scratchy guitar static for the duration, while Joey, fresh off a glue-sniffin’ session, garbles out garbage lyrics like “They’re pilin’ in the back seat/They generate steam heat”.  What’s truly sad is that for most of those kids who wear Ramones shirts purchased from Hot Topic, this is the only Ramones song they know.

4. “Freeze Frame” by the J. Geils Band

This putrid pile of 80′s pop would probably be a forgotten novelty if it hadn’t been adopted as the “Official Instant Replay Song” by several NFL stadiums.  Whenever there’s an important call to review, it’s almost a given that we’ll be bombarded by “I could see it was a rough cut Tuesday/Slow motion weekdays stare me down…” Makes me wonder if the refs are equipped with noise-cancelling headphones in the booth.

3. “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond

I don’t get it, when did this song become associated with sporting events–and why!?  I could swear that I’d never hear it when I started going to Flames games in the 90′s.  I mean, it’s bad enough if someone sings this one at a karaoke bar–a whole arena full of people singing it is even worse!

2. “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister

When I was a kid, I used to think this song was pretty badass.  That was before it started appearing everywhere from Broadway musicals to allergy-medicine commercials.  Not to mention that it’s usually the first choice for “Visiting Team Just Scored a Goal/Touchdown Music” at many a football field and hockey rink.  This song sure lives up to its name now–I can’t take it anymore!

1. “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey

Long before Glee brought this song back into everybody’s living room, it was being blared at obscene volumes at sporting events across the continent.  The worst is in Detroit, where they mute the second line of the second verse so the crowd can scream “Growing up in Soooouth Deeetroooiiit!”  I actually had to hit the mute button on the OSU-Michigan game on account of this shit.  And here’s hoping they realign the Red Wings to the Eastern Conference next year so I don’t hafta watch ‘em host Calgary more than once a season.  That is, as long as the Jets haven’t adopted “Takin’ Care of Business” by Winnipeg’s own Randy Bachman as their official in-game anthem…

…

While I wouldn’t put them on this list, I gotta say that the Flames have kinda ruined “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash and “Shot Down in Flames” by AC/DC for me, songs which are overused at the Saddledome for celebratory purposes.  But at least I can still listen to them.  After line-dancing to “TNT” in Grade 10 gym class, I can’t stand that song anymore.  (It was one of AC/DC’s most overrated, anyways…)

Of course, I can’t really comment on which songs are played to death at Rogers Centre or the ACC, as I only go to games at those facilities when Calgary’s in town.  It does seem like the former’s the only place that still plays that 80′s rap song “Jump On It” nowadays though, and I have seen some drunken Argos fans (both of them) shake their asses to it.  Male Argos fans, mind you!

Farewell to Judas Priest! – Epitaph tour @ the ACC, November 22nd

Posted by gruesomegreg on

I gotta say, if that’s the last time I ever get to see Priest live, they left a pretty good impression.  On their Epitaph tour, they played for a solid two-and-a-half hours, covering every album from Rocka Rolla to Nostradamus–except for the Ripper Owens stuff, which is no big loss.  Of course, some records got more coverage than others *cough*British Steel*cough* but I think they made the most of their allotted time, knowing that the venue wouldn’t let them play past 11 even if they had more juice in the tank.

Now, I can understand the need for “Turbo Lover,” even if I was one of the few who wasn’t singing along, but did anybody really come there thinking “Man, I hope they play ‘Blood Red Skies’ offa Ram it Down tonite!”?  On the other hand, “The Ripper,” “Sinner” and “Exciter” were all missing in action, and the fact that “The Sentinel” was the only cut culled from Defenders of the Faith was a little disappointing, to say nothing of Halford’s revised chorus on said number.  That said, “Victim of Changes,” “Beyond the Realms of Death” and “Never Satisfied” were all welcome additions to the set, and it was cool to hear such unusual suspects as “Night Crawler” and “Starbreaker,” as well.  I was slightly bemused that Halford would praise the virtues of the band’s debut before launching into the lone cut from Rocka Rolla, though.  Last time I checked, Priest still didn’t own the rights to that album, and they aren’t even receiving royalties from it.  (Personally, I own a 1993 CD reissue on the ever-reputable Repertoire label that was licensed from Gull, not the band itself.)

The stage setup was equally immaculate, a chain-adorned platform with props like tridents and disco balls, and a video screen showing past album covers as well as some specific animated backdrops for certain tunes, such as an evil eyeball on “Electric Eye”.  Most impressive was the laser show, seemingly on loan from The Pink Floyd Experience.  Not many bands use lasers anymore–but they should, cuz laser beams are freakin’ sweet!

I actually made it to the venue shortly after six, which is when the gig actually started, as stated on the ticket, and was thus disappointed that the floors weren’t general admission, though I knew this ahead of time.  Had that been the case, however, there’s no way there woulda been 22 rows of people in front of me!  Alas, the view from FLR L 23 wasn’t that bad.  This crappy camera-phone shot hardly does it justice…

(On that note, I should mention that half the current members of Thin Lizzy weren’t even old enough to drink when Jailbreak came out in ’76. And that’s all I gotsta say about that…)

The Top 20 Priest songs ending in “er” or “or” ranked in order…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

C’mon, you didn’t actually expect me to dissect Nostradamus, did you?  Man, if I wanted to sit through 90 minutes of pretentious concept album, Ida picked up the new Loutallica a coupla weeks back.  Besides, I didn’t wanna be put off Priest the nite before they came to town.  Instead, I’m making a mixtape of their finest metal anthems ending in “er’ or “or,” of which there are several.  Mind you, not all of these are greatest hits material…

NOTE: For the purpose of this exercise, I am only using personal nouns, thus tunes like “Fever,” “Winter” or “Rock Forever” don’t make the cut.  Basically, if it hasn’t inspired a band name (okay, Winter might be a bad example) or a comic-book character, then I’m not interested.  That being said, I hereby give you…

THE TOP 20 PRIEST TUNES ENDING IN ER OR OR

1. The Ripper (Sad Wings of Destiny, 1976): “The Ripper” is, of course, the first of many anthems in the band’s catalogue, a tune that shows shades of Iron Maiden—except that the latter were barely scraping by in local pubs at that point.

2. Exciter (Stained Class, 1978): Stained Class storms out of the gates with the speed metal burst of “Exciter,” a tune that clearly influenced the Canadian thrash band from the 80’s.  Les Binks (drummer number four, if you’re keeping track at home) puts the pedal to the metal on this tune, and when Halford proclaims “Fall to your knees and repent if you please,” you can hardly help but bow to the Metal God.  Great, great song.  Personal favourite!

3. Sinner (Sin After Sin, 1977): “Sinner” starts things off on a fiery note, an early slice of speed metal with a titular chorus that’s pretty fuckin’ epic.

4. Painkiller (Painkiller, 1990): Once again, the album opens with the title track, but this time they clearly mean business, Travis proving right off the bat that he’s no drum machine with some dexterous bashing.  Halford has rediscovered his trademark sneer, and we even get a thrash-style breakdown in the chorus.  “Painkiller” certainly sets the tone for what’s to come…

5. Jawbreaker (Defenders of the Faith, 1984): “Jawbreaker” is another fan favourite, an urgent, chugging riff building up to an epic chorus that reminds me of Accept.

6. Dissident Aggressor (Sin After Sin, 1977): The chugging riffage of “Dissident Agressor” fades up from a noodly prog beginning, as Halford unleashes a scream that’s simply out of this world.  This is one that sticks with you, a great way to end the album!

7. Dreamer Deceiver/Deceiver (Sad Wings of Destiny, 1976): “Dreamer Deceiver” is, along with “Victim of Changes” a remnant of the pre-Halford, Al Atkins era.  Halford’s deeper singing voice at the beginning of this light ballad is reminiscent of his vocals on the first half of “Dying to Meet You” from the first album, till he again unleashes that trademark wail.  The accompanying “Deceiver” brings things back into chugging proto-metal territory, a straight-forward march through the muck of the mid-70’s, with Rob dropping some vocal divebombs along the way.

8. Invader (Stained Class, 1978): “Invader” follows with equal aplomb, in fact, I gotta say that Maiden pretty much ripped off its chorus on their tune “Invaders” offa Number of the Beast, though the verses differ somewhat in their execution, Priest harbouring a bit more of a bluesy feel.

9. Night Crawler (Painkiller, 1990): “Night Crawler” continues with a chugging, torrid pace, this one slightly slower with Halford sounding less strained.  Another decent sing-a-long number with a solid chorus: “Nightcrawler/Beware the beast in black/Nightcrawler/You know he’s coming back/Night Crawlerrrrrrr” – with emphasis on the last syllable.

10. Cheater (Rocka Rolla, 1974): “Cheater” was the first in a long line of Priest tunes ending in “er,” and it’s a true standout track, a snakelike riff winding beneath Halford’s angry snarl, with plenty of cowbell—and harmonica, to boot!

11. Steeler (British Steel, 1980): “Steeler” is a return to faster fare, effectively bookending the other tunes on the album—though it’s not quite as memorable as “Rapid Fire,” if you ask me.

12. Starbreaker (Sin After Sin, 1977): “Starbreaker” is another tune with what I’ve dubbed the Priest groove, a solid mid-paced thud.  Good tune, though the handclaps almost ruin the chorus.  Shoulda used cowbell, instead!

13. Grinder (British Steel, 1980): “Grinder” is a mid-paced, plodding number that might actually be about a meat grinder.  (“Grinder – looking for meat/Grinder – wants you to eat”—that’s what we call a personification in English class, kids…)

14. Hellrider (Angel of Retribution, 2005): “Hellrider” is another decent tune, more in line with Painkiller, albeit with more, erm, “modern” riffage.  Pretty sure I hear a pinch harmonic or seven.  This one’s got a pretty decent chorus, though it seems a little long at 6:23—at least up to that point of the album.

15. Demonizer (Angel of Retribution, 2005): “Demonizer” at least brings things back to the metal, a pounding number on which Halford sounds a lot like Dickenson, if you ask me—well, until he unleashes that signature Halford scream near the end.

16. Turdo Lover (Turdo, 1986): Bucking the trend of awesome album openers, Turdo opens with “Turdo Lover,” a lengthy, plodding synth sandwich that makes “You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’” sound like “Rapid Fire.”  Sure, it might be kinda fun to sing along to when you’re smashed, but so is “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi.  Nuff said!

17. I’m a Rocker (Ram it Down, 1988): “I’m a Rocker” is another stock number, a mediocre piece of processed 80’s fare with a bad power metal chorus.  They shoulda put a question mark in the song title, if you ask me…

18. Troubleshooter (Point of Entry, 1981): I gotta say, for a band with a history of menacing song titles, “Troubleshooter” sounds more like a brand of liquid paper than someone you wouldn’t wanna meet in a back alley.

19. Jugulator (Jugulator, 1997): The title track predictably opens Jugulator, with the noises of robotic machinery leading into some slow, distorted riffage.  This one chugs along quite nicely, though my ears do detect a coupla Zakk Wylde pinch harmonics.  After a bit of a buildup, Owens unleashes the hounds, showing why they ultimately chose him to replace Halford.  However, this sounds like a cross between Painkiller and Fight’s first album—it even has hardcore barking backing vocals!—not the Judas Priest of yore.

20. Abductors (Jugulator, 1997): “Abductors” starts off slow and sparse, like half the other songs on this record, then gets into that same mid-paced chug heard elsewhere (and how!).

NOT RECEIVING VOTES: Devil Digger and Bloodsuckers (Demolition, 2001): I think it would be best to just pretend that Pieceoshition never happened.

P.S.: Priest rocks the ACC tomorrow nite!  See ya in the pit, erm, assigned-seating floor area…

PRIEST REVISITED: Angel of Retribution (Columbia, 2005)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

It took a few years for nu metal to finally die, but once it did, Rob Halford made his much-hyped return to Judas Priest, after which they were immediately re-signed by Columbia.  I remember having high expectations for this album, which I purchased shortly after its release, then being pretty disappointed once I gave it a spin.  I had expected something similar to Halford’s solo material, Resurrection in particular, and felt it came up short in that regard.  Thus, I haven’t given it much of a listen in a little while.  But now, after sitting through the two Ripper Owens albums, I wouldn’t be surprised if Angel suddenly sounded a lot better to these ears.  Lemme see if I can remember when I put it…

Clearly, the band wanted to open this album with a song that screams “Priest is back!” and I’d say that “Judas Rising” does the trick.  Building up to a chugging metal hymn, it’s great to hear Halford’s voice again after two hours of listening to Ripper.  An epic, power-metal-tinged chorus says all you need to know: “Judas is rising!”

“Deal with the Devil” bursts out of the gate with a classic speed metal riff.  This one sounds like it coulda been taken from British Steel or Screaming for Vengeance. Now, that’s what I wanna hear!  “Revolution” begins with another blood-curdling scream.  This is a slow hard-rocker, but not all that well put-together.  The verses, rather sparse, consist of Halford singing over a lone bluesy guitar riff and a pounding drum beat.  The chorus seems too light and airy for its own good.  What kinda weirdass effects did they put on the man’s voice!?

“Worth Fighting For” is a slow, plodding, 80s-style power ballad—and not the only one on the album, either.  Pass.  “Demonizer” at least brings things back to the metal, a pounding number on which Halford sounds a lot like Dickenson, if you ask me—well, until he unleashes that signature Halford scream near the end.  Must be that duet they did on Resurrection.  They actually name-check Painkiller in this one, too, which seems appropriate, I guess.

“Wheels of Fire” is another retro-styled metal throwback with a semi-cheesy biker motif.  Though it falls somewhat short of spectacular, it still gets the job done.  But then they throw in another ballad, “Angel,” which, as I had written at the time, “Look out world, Judas Priest is gonna take over adult contemporary radio!”  I mean, I’m pretty sure Toto rocked harder than this on occasion.  Can’t believe they actually played it last time I saw ‘em live…

“Hellrider” is another decent tune, more in line with Painkiller, albeit with more, erm, “modern” riffage.  Pretty sure I hear a pinch harmonic or seven.  This one’s got a pretty decent chorus, though it seems a little long at 6:23—at least up to that point of the album.  “Eulogy” is a bit of a throw-away track, a sub-three-minute tale of mourning that name-checks Stained Class and “The Sentinel”.  If it all ended here, I would’ve found it a bit of an odd way to go out, though overall a decent listen.  But what comes next almost single-handedly made me shelf this CD for several months after I first heard it.

“Loch Ness” is an overblown piece of pseudo-operatic stupidity, testing the collective patience of all listeners with its 13-and-a-half-minute runtime.  If Manowar attempted to rewrite “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” it would probably be less painful.  The song starts on the same sombre note as its predecessor, then goes into a long, drug-out verse that may contain traces of nu metal.  The chorus that follows is a weakass attempt at epic doom.  Did I mention this song is about the Loch Ness monster, from which the band tries to drag out a confession with this drudgery?  I’m fucking serious.  “Lochness confess to me…” I guess this is how you water-board a mythical deep-sea creature.

CHOICE CUTS: Judas Rising, Deal with the Devil, Hellrider

THE VERDICT: This would be a pretty decent album, if only it stopped short of the 40-minute mark.

PRIEST REVISITED: Demol(pieceosh)ition (SPV Steamhammer, 2001)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

 

Fuck it, this is the worst Priest album ever.

It would be four years between albums for Priest, as they tried to assess the damage done by going for the Jugulator.  Unfortunately, like Metallica on Death Magnetic, they were so far removed from their classic sound that an attempt to return to it fell way short.  Mind you, there wasn’t any rapcore on Death Magnetic—hey, this was 2001, remember?  This album is a 70-minute(!) mish-mash of bad metal trends that would take another four years (and a rejuvenated Rob Halford) to recover from.

Need I say more?  Okay, fine.  Demolition opens with “Machine Man,” a tune, like many on the album, that was penned solely by Glenn Tipton, who also produced the thing.  This actually reminds me of St Anger-era Selloutica meets Ministry, with its thumping industrial drum beat.  This was the first Priest album to get slapped with the Parental Advisory sticker,  thanks to lameass lyrics like “So you motherfuckers want to race/You’ve all got loser tattooed on your face.”  Ripper, you did it all for the nookie, right?

“One on One” takes the machine-processed approach of Ram it Down and gives it a modern, nu-metal sheen.  Yes, that’s about as appetizing as you’d imagine.  “Hell is Home” is a stupid song title suited for the Limp Bizkit generation.  In fact, Ripper sounds an awful lot like Fred Durst on this one—y’know, if Fred Durst could scream like a banshee.  Terrible, terrible song.  WTF, Glenn Tipton!?

“Jekyll and Hyde” brings back the keyboards from Turdo for a terrible whispery faux-goth mallcore Hot Topic stomper with a bad Axl Rose-wannabe interlude.  Are there really nine more songs of this!?  “Close to You” is a bad ballad with some lame electronic noises in the background.  This is sorta like 80’s synth pop meets second-rate Guns ‘n Roses meets Orgy.  (Remember them?)  By this point, Priest has lost the plot completely. “I wake up, I break up/I try hard to shake off” Wasn’t that line first used by Courtney Love?

The next song is called “Devil Digger.”  Whiteboy said what?  This one has a decent industrial chug going, if you’re into that sort of thing, but the whispery, whiny KoRn starch vocals do nothing for me.  “Bloodsuckers” has a couple doomy riffs ruined by an industrial stomping beat until…  holy shit, is that an actual Judas Priest riff!?  Well, okay, it’s got a bit of downtuned fuzz on it, but it’s the closest thing to Painkiller I’ve heard all album.  This still isn’t that good, but it’s actually not terrible.

“In Between” falls somewhere in between nu metal and bad AIC acousticy grunge.  At this point, Priest is just throwing musical trends at a wall and hoping a couple stick together.  Y’know, I think the band shoulda changed their name to Joodas Preezt for this record.  It would probably go over better with their target audience.

“Feed on Me” isn’t terrible either, a Teutonic chugger that’s sorta like Accept meets Ramnstein, filtered through Foreigner with a little bit of Disturbed’s “Stupify” thrown in for good measure.  There is definitely a thick layer of Cheez-Whiz atop this sauerkraut sandwich.  “Subterfuge” takes the digital thing a bit further, another industrial mess.  Al Jourgensen has taken dumps that sound better than this shit.  At least we’re hitting the home stretch…

“Lost and Found” is just what this album needs.  An acoustic, heartfelt, down-home ballad… not!  Remember that band Staind, who used to do that whole “sensitive tough-guy” shit?  Picture them sharing the stage with Nickelback and a surfin’-on-heroin Axl Rose.  Yes, this song sucks.

“Cyberface” is another song the world go do without.  Starting off with some crappy, erm, creepy electronics, it returns to industrial territory with some more half-hearted Ramnstein worship.  It’s hard to believe this is the band that wrote Stained Class could be this classless.  In fact, this tune actually reminds me of Two.  Man, if you’re gonna copy Halford, rip off Resurrection, not fuckin’ Voyeurs!

The album ends with “Metal Messiah,” an insult to both metal and most modern religions.  This takes half-assed industrial metal and adds… wait for it… rapping!  I shit you not!  And a power-metal chorus, to boot.  And then there’s some weird middle-eastern interlude with bagpipes or something… Wow.  Looks like they saved the worst for last.

CHOICE CUTS: Nothing to see here…

THE VERDICT: In case you couldn’t tell by now, this record sucks donkey balls.  I think I’m gonna go cleanse my eardrums by listening to Turdo, which suddenly smells pristine and beautiful.  Good riddance to nu metal!

PRIEST REVISITED Halford – Resurrection (Metal-Is, 2000)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

This album also deserves mention cuz it’s better than anything Priest has put out in the past 10 years.

Long gone by now from Judas Priest, Rob Halford in 2000 found himself stuck in a similar situation to what he and his bandmates faced at the beginning of the previous decade.  Coming off a follow-up flop in Fight’s second album A Small Deadly Space, Halford then teamed up with Trent Reznor for a critically-panned (and rightfully so!) industrial album.  Suffice to say that most people had written him off by Y2K.  But then he comes roaring back with this, a true metal album at a time when KoRn and Limp Bizkit topped the “metal” charts.  I was floored when I first heard Resurrection, and I still feel that had it been put out under the Judas Priest banner, it would hold up as the best Priest record of the 21st century.

The title track, which opens the album, is a screaming reaffirmation of Metal Godliness, Halford saying “See, I can still sing higher than you!” on a ripping tune that recalls Painkiller.  The backing band, consisting of such seasoned musicians as Bobby Jarzombek and “Metal” Mike Chlasciak, does a good job of recreating the speed metal sounds on said record with this one.

“Made in Hell” continues in a similar vein, a fast-paced power/traditional metal tune with anthemic, autobiographical lyrics from the Metal God, including a classic, shout-a-long chorus. “Hell–we’re gonna raise some Hell!”

“Locked and Loaded” settles into a static chug, with an ever-catchy chorus of its own, though it’s lacking the oomph of the opening numbers.  “Night Fall” has little in common with the Blind Guardian tune of the same name, though it’s another solid, albeit understated slice of throwback metal with a classic chorus that wouldn’t sound outta place on Screaming for Vengeance.

“Silent Screams” is by far the longest song on here, just barely surpassing the seven-minute mark.  Surprise, surprise, it’s a ballad with some faux orchestral backing and a powerful chorus.  Coulda probably chopped it in half and I wouldn’t have noticed.  The “Killing Pain” refrain does kinda stick with you, though.

“The One You Love to Hate,” this song is the coolest—a duet between Halford and Bruce Dickinson!  Two metal gods for the price of one!  The musicianship is somewhat mediocre, a mid-paced, industrialized chugger, but the vocal performances make it memorable, Halford and Dickinson trading off aggressive, in-your-face lines then joining forces for the chorus.  At a shade over three minutes, it almost seems too short!

“Cyberworld” is presumably not about having sex on the internet, in fact it’s even worse: Rob Halford as a computer virus personified!  Despite the lyrical silliness, this is a pretty decent song that again recalls some of the better Priest tunes from the early 80’s, albeit with some silly digital effects thrown in because, after all, it’s Y2K.

“Slow Down” and “Twist” are both longer, slower songs that drag a little, though both choruses have been known to get stuck in my head on occasion, with “Slow Down” having a slight edge in that department.  “Temptation” doesn’t really pick up the pace either, though it’s noticeably shorter than its predecessors.

“Drive” does take things up a notch, though it’s more of an industrial/nu metal chugfest, far from a metal classic.  Man, the second half of this album isn’t nearly as good as the first—choruses aside.  Resurrection ends with a song called “Saviour,” a return to the metal anthem, with some verbose, autobiographical lyrics, a companion piece to “Made in Hell” in that regard, though I still prefer the latter.

CHOICE CUTS: Resurrection, Made in Hell, The One You Love to Hate, Cyberworld

THE VERDICT: The Metal God is back, baby!

PRIEST REVISITED: Jugulator (CMC International, 1997)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

Priest fans had to wait seven long years for the follow-up to Painkiller, as the band needed time to regroup after losing Rob Halford.  Finally, in the fall of ’97, they came back with a new singer, a new label and a new, funny-looking logo they would later abandon.  Tim “Ripper” Owens was a cover-band singer before he got the gig that launched him to power-metal stardom—he has since recorded with Iced Earth, Beyond Fear, Yngwie Malmsteen and supergroup Charred Walls of the Damned.  (Last I heard, he was touring with a Dio tribute outfit.  Once a cover-band singer, always a cover-band singer, I guess…)  As for the record, well, it’s no Painkiller, adopting a more-modern sound that showed the state of metal in 1997.  That said, I’d probably take this one over most of Ram it Down—to say nothing of Turdo!

The title track predictably opens Jugulator, with the noises of robotic machinery leading into some slow, distorted riffage.  This one chugs along quite nicely, though my ears do detect a coupla Zakk Wylde pinch harmonics.  After a bit of a buildup, Owens unleashes the hounds, showing why they ultimately chose him to replace Halford.  However, this sounds like a cross between Painkiller and Fight’s first album—it even has hardcore barking backing vocals!—not the Judas Priest of yore.

“Blood Stained” opens with another eerie bit of guitar playing, before it too finds its mid-paced groove, the band taking its cues from the likes of Fear Factory and Sepultura.  No longer innovators, Priest is now clearly playing catchup.  “Dead Meat” opens with the sound of a snarling animal, and picks up the pace just a tad, sounding the most like the title track offa War of Words.  I wouldn’t say they’re ripping off Fight directly, as this is what most mid-90’s mainstream metal sounded like.  I could also throw out names like Pantera, Machine Head or even the kinda stuff that Metallica and Slayer were doing at the time.  (Well okay, this is a lot more Diabolus in Musica than ReLoad, I must admit…)

“Death Row” opens with a gun shot and a digital whisper on top of what sounds kinda like drone until an actual guitar riff comes in, along with a ringing telephone.  Yeah, this intro is pretty lame…  That said, when they get down to business, they do it pretty well, a chugging riff platter with a thudding chorus, Ripper sounding like Mustaine gone insane.  (This record kicks the shit outta Cryptic Writings, by the way!)  And wait, are those laser beams!?  I swear I heard a laser sound effect near the end…

Man, the intro to “Decapitate” reminds me of KoRn, like “Freak on a Leash” or something.  This one is a bit heavier than KoRn though, taking on a bit of a doomy feel up to a certain point (read: its nu-metal chorus) though I think these lyrics are kinda silly.  Tuco Ramirez once said “If you’re gonna shoot somebody, don’t talk about it, just shoot!”—and I’d imagine that Ripper’s yammering would be even more annoying if you were actually strapped to a guillotine.  Just sayin’…

The band actually made a music video for “Burn in Hell,” though if you blinked while watching MTV/Much Music, you probably missed it.  Much to my dismay, this is not a Twisted Sister cover, but nearly seven minutes worth of angsty post-thrash nu-metal, Ripper doing his best Mustaine sneer on this overburdened “ballad” that takes forever just to find an actual riff.  Man, this video wasn’t seven-minutes long, was it?  The lyrics are equally awful.  This is the actual chorus: “Have you got a gun/Do you remember well/Who d’ya use it on/You’re going to burn in Hell!” Mmmmkay…

“Brain Dead” probably should’ve been the title track to this record, as it describes both this album and the late-90’s nu metal sound as a whole.  Y’know, until recently I had actually forgotten this kinda music existed.  And to think it was Priest that shattered the illusion is a little depressing, to tell ya the truth.  Wait, did Ripper just say “Lemonade me!”?  (Apparently, that was “Eliminate me,” though ya coulda fooled me!)

If you were expecting any kind of variety at this point, think again.  “Abductors” starts off slow and sparse, like half the other songs on this record, then gets into that same mid-paced chug heard elsewhere (and how!).  At this point, I’m wondering how one gets “mentally raped,” and I also get the feeling that if I had a nickel for every time Ripper uses the word “desecrate” on this album, I’d have enough scratch to grab it out of a bargain bin somewhere…

“Bullet Train” sounds a bit busier than the rest, probably due to the explosion sound clips in the background.  If I said this might the best song on here, it wouldn’t be saying much.  “Cathedral Spires” ends it all with an attempt at a classic Priest ballad, and despite some classic Halfordian wails from the Ripper, it doesn’t really go anywhere.  Did I mention that the fucking thing is over nine minutes long!?  One thing I hate about the 90’s in hindsight is that CDs made bands think they needed to fill most of the space that was now available, and thus they record bloated, over-extended numbers like this one.  (Iron Maiden has been dealing with the same problem ever since the turn of the century…)

CHOICE CUTS: Honestly, this album sounds like one big, long 60-minute number to me.  It’s hard to pick out any highlights when all the songs sound so similar…

THE VERDICT: There is a reason why almost all Priest fans consider the Ripper era to be an aberration.  This is it, right here.

PRIEST REVISITED: Fight – War of Words (Epic, 1993)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

NOTE: This is one of two non-Priest albums that I’m including since I feel it’s relevant to the band’s timeline.  You can probably guess what the other one is.  (No, not Two – Voyeurs!)

Although Priest never actually called it a day, they suffered a huge setback in 1991 when Rob Halford left the band after touring concluded for Painkiller.  Though he collaborated with his former bandmates on the greatest hits set Metal Works ’73-’93, Priest would not release another studio album until 1997, as a worldwide search began for a new singer.  In the meantime, Halford formed Fight, enlisting drummer Scott Travis on a pair of albums in the mid 90’s, out of which the debut, War of Words, was by far the better of the two.  Fun fact: Russ Parrish, one of two lead guitarists on this album, is now better known as Satchel, the glamtastic guitar player for Steel Panther.  (He was only 22 at the time!)

War of Words leads off with “Into the Pit,” a chugging thrasher on which Halford really rips it with his vocal chords.  There is a bit of a stomping thud here, down-tuned bass, pre-nu metal, that sorta shows the state of major-label metal in ’93.  Still a solid tune.

“Nailed to the Gun,” the next track, would also be the next single.  Another mid-paced thrashy number, not unlike what Anthrax (or even Megadeth) were doing around that time—minus the rapping, mind you.  Fight seemed to latch on to the tail-end of the first wave of thrash for parts of this record, and the results are pretty decent.

From there, things get a little weird.  “Life in Black” slows things down a bit with a static gothic doom riff, giving off an eerie vibe like Halford fronting Type O Negative.  “Immortal Sin” offers more of the same, a slow, chugging riff, Halford’s voice dropping a couple registers since the leadoff track, though the chorus is slightly more upbeat— as upbeat as a tune called “Immortal Sin” could be, that is.

The title track opens with some synth sounds and a recorded spoken word passage, before turning into a knuckle-dragging ground-and-pounder, Prong meets Pantera, with Halford wailing high overhead and a twice-repeated titular chorus that sounds particularly like the latter.  Halford goes off onto his own spoken word bit, reciting what I believe is the First Amendment (that’s the freedom of speech one, right?) before a chugging riff barrage introduces a spaced-out, overdriven guitar solo.  Suffice to say this is not your father’s metal!

“Laid to Rest” opens with that same lumbering bass line and more goth-metal guitar, a softer-singing Rob compared to his angrier approach to its predecessor.  Another decent, if unspectacular Typo outtake.  “For All Eternity” has a softer opening, sounding like a Priest-style power ballad, though this one takes on a creepier, doomier tone with its ton-o’-bricks chorus.  As far as 90’s metal ballads go, this one’s pretty decent.

“Little Crazy” is a little different, opening with swamp blues-style guitar, Halford doing his best Rob Johnson.  From there, it pretty much turns into a slightly lighter Fight, another down-tuned, mid-paced pounder.  “Contortion” bends things back into shape, a pounding tribal drum intro giving way to an “Occupy Wall Street” style protest song (“See a world of suffering/Money sucking greed/Watch the human gluttony/All these mouths to feed”) with a grinding Prong riff, a Jaymz Hetfield Black Album vocal and a NYHC-style gang chorus.  Is that really Halford emitting those deep-voiced growls halfway through!?

“Kill It” snaps its share of fingers and breaks its share of necks with its machine-gun stomp chorus, Halford again sounding more like Hetfield mixed with mid 90’s Mustaine than the Metal God.  “Vicious” however takes things a bit too far into caveman territory, it’s whiny verse reminiscent of the unlistenable Two album Halford did with Trent Reznor, while the chorus is just plain retarded.  “Vicious, vicious, Fucker, fucker”  Really, Rob?  Did you have to use the f-word?

Things end on an even stranger note with the 13-minute “Reality, a New Beginning.”  More whining from Robbo on another mid-paced stomper, this one sounding the most like what would become known as nu-metal, its industrialized chorus kinda reminding me of the Deftones.  I should mention that this doesn’t continue for 13 minutes, thankfully, but after a few minutes of silence, a “hidden bonus track” called “Jesus Saves” kicks in.  Remember when bands used to do that?  It was the 90’s, alright…

CHOICE CUTS: Into the Pit, Nailed to the Gun, For All Eternity, Contortion

THE VERDICT: Those who remember what mainstream metal sounded like in the mid-90’s might get a bit nostalgic with this one, though it’s not quite as good as I remembered.

PRIEST REVISITED: Painkiller (Columbia, 1990)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

Some people say that heavy metal peaked as a mainstream entity in 1990, before Nevermind and grunge took over the following year.  It could also be argued that Priest peaked at the same time.  After two lacklustre releases—bordering on terrible, really—the band ditched their child rapist drummer for an American, Scott Travis, who has remained with them to this day.  Travis seemed to be the shot in the arm that Priest needed, as they bounced back with their fastest, ballsiest, molten-metal effort since Stained Class.  Though it didn’t have any discernible “hits” except maybe the title track, Painkiller is often considered to be Priest’s best effort by those who don’t own any of their 70’s stuff.

Once again, the album opens with the title track, but this time they clearly mean business, Travis proving right off the bat that he’s no drum machine with some dexterous bashing.  Halford has rediscovered his trademark sneer, and we even get a thrash-style breakdown in the chorus.  “Painkiller” certainly sets the tone for what’s to come…

“Hell Patrol” opens with another pounding drum beat, a Maidenesque metal riff anchoring a solid tune on which Halford really lets loose on the chorus.  Rob’s vocals echo from one earphone to the other in the opening of “All Guns Blazing” which quickly kicks into another chugging metal thrashterpiece.  “Leather Rebel” opens with a fast-paced jackhammer riff, Halford sounding a little less intense on this one, which again reminds me of Accept, at least in terms of the chorus.  (I really like me some Accept…)  Notice a pattern here?  No ballads, no synths, no B.S.—just METAL!

“Metal Meltdown” is the album’s true metal anthem, opening with a Yngwie-style guitar run and the sound of a zooming vehicle.  Halford kicks it up another notch here, hitting notes that make dogs go wild.  And yet the chorus keeps it simple with a slower, doomy riff compared to the chugging rifforama heard elsewhere.  “Here comes the Metal Meltdown/Run for your lives/Can’t stop the Metal Meltdown/No-one survives!” Classic!

“Night Crawler” continues with a chugging, torrid pace, this one slightly slower with Halford sounding less strained.  Another decent sing-a-long number with a solid chorus: “Nightcrawler/Beware the beast in black/Nightcrawler/You know he’s coming back/Night Crawlerrrrrrr” – with emphasis on the last syllable.

“Between the Hammer and the Anvil” starts off slowly, this one a bit more melodic, more poppy—but still firmly in the metal camp.  You could almost place it in the power metal camp, for that matter, though the largely-instrumental chorus doesn’t really scream Dungeons & Dragons.  “A Touch of Evil” takes on a similar note with its bells and orchestral intro.  If anything, this one sounds most like something offa “Ram it Down,” a slower, cheesier tune with some stock drumming and annoying synth sounds.  The chorus is pretty epic, shades of Dio perhaps, though it doesn’t really save this stinker.

What happens next is somewhat silly, a one-minute build-up instrumental called “Battle Hymn” leading into “One Shot at Glory,” a nearly-seven-minute song that recalls “Blood Red Skies” from Ram it, though it’s slightly less stupid, a total power-metal hymn if I’ve ever heard one.  For what’s a pretty solid album overall, Painkiller kinda ends on a lame note.

CHOICE CUTS: Painkiller, Metal Meltdown, Night Crawler

THE VERDICT: Reports of this band’s demise were greatly (though not unjustly) exaggerated… Priest is back, baby!

PRIEST REVISITED: Ram it Down (Columbia, 1988)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As you probably know, Judas Priest is in the middle of their “Farewell Tour,” a lengthy North American trek that takes them to Toronto on the 22nd.  Though I’ve yet to sneak at peak at the set list, I’ve been told that it’ll feature songs spanning their entire career, so I figured I might as well familiarize myself with the full discography ahead of time.  For the next 20 days, I’ll be taking a look back at their full studio discography, along with a couple key live efforts.  “Judas Rising,” indeed!

Although they did away with the synthesizers, Ram it Down wasn’t much of a rebound for Priest after Turdo hit the shitter.  A mediocre, dated, non-descript album best known (if known at all) for its somewhat goofy title track—and that awful cover of Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode.”

Starting off with a mighty Halfordian scream, it’s clear that “Ram It Down” is a decent speed-metal number, notably absent from their last effort.  The chorus, which is quite repetitive and slightly silly, detracts somewhat from what’s still the best song on this album.  The next track is simply called “Heavy Metal”—it doesn’t get much blunter than that, although said tune almost makes a mockery of the genre with its wimpy, processed drums and stock song structure best suited to its predecessor, and a chorus seemingly stolen from Accept.  (Come to think of it, Halford sounds an awful lot like Udo on this one…)  Other song titles include “Hard as Iron,” “I’m a Rocker” and “Monsters of Rock”—since Turdo made them sound like a synth-pop band, they clearly felt the need to reaffirm their metal roots on this release.

That’s not to say that that this record doesn’t have (more than) its share of cheese, “Love Zone” being a prime example.  Imagine a second-rate Aerosmith tune with bad 80’s production, garbage can drums and Halford singing with a bad head cold.  It really isn’t pretty.

“Come and Get It” is another tune that reminds me of mid-80’s Accept, except that Halford is singing from a lower register for the most part, and the chorus reminds me more of Autograph (“Turn Up the Radio”) or some equally forgettable 80’s fare.  Clearly a step backwards from a band that revolutionized the genre 10 years prior, as if Turdo made them forget what metal really means.

“Hard As Iron” is a bit faster, a bit more metallic, like a Helloween outtake or something, though with a chorus clearly made with radio in mind.  “Blood Red Skies,” their longest song in quite some time, comes in just shy of eight minutes.  The only thing that makes this better than “Out in the Cold” is the conspicuous lack of keyboards.  I swear to Satan, they stole Falco’s drum machine from “Rock Me Amadeus” for this tune, which seems ready-made for a bad Stallone action movie.  Ugh.  “I’m a Rocker” is another stock number, a mediocre piece of processed 80’s fare with a bad power metal chorus.  They shoulda put a question mark in the song title, if you ask me…

And then there’s “Johnny B. Goode,” a terrible synth-rock cover (yes, I am using that word again!) that would have both Chuck Berry and Les Binks rolling in their cardboard boxes.  Seriously, this might be the worst song Priest ever recorded, and the fact that it’s a cover of a classic rock ‘n roll tune only makes it that much more painful.  By now, I’m also convinced that they replaced Dave “Child Molester” Holland with a drum machine halfway through this recording, which would be his last in the band, their longest-running skin-pounder up to this point.  (I mean, could you imagine Binks playing on Turdo or this crap?  Not without a lot of cocaine…)

“Love You to Death”?  Ugh, just kill me now.  Billy Squier called, he wants “The Stroke” back.  Oh, and could you spare some money?  Some food?  The album ends on an equally ignominious note with “Monsters of Rock,” a tune so bad that the festival shoulda sued to have its name changed.  This overblown turd sandwich shows that the band no longer knows how to write a metal anthem.  Hell, AC/DC shoulda sued ‘em for giving the rock anthem a bad name.  (Chuck Berry coulda sued ‘em too, though I’m sure he appreciated the meagre royalty cheque he got from that hackjob “Johnny Gone Bad”…)

CHOICE CUTS: Ram It Down, Hard as Iron

THE VERDICT: In trying to be metal in ’88, Judas Priest put out an album that was just as bad as their attempt to write a hard rock record in ’81 or a synth-pop cassette in ’86.  The 90’s couldn’t come soon enough for this decaying corpse of a once-proud metal outfit…