COMMENT OF THE DAY: In Don Cherry’s defence, he does make 10 times less than Gary Bettman…

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/article/1291710–nhl-lockout-don-cherry-to-players-smarten-up

Clearly, the NHL lockout has gone on too long, far too long, for never did I think I’d read these words: Donald S. Cherry, Special to the Star.  Alas, in a column for Toronto’s National Newspaper, the Mayor of Hockeyville chastises players for their “Puck Gary” caps while putting himself in the same “lower echelon” as ushers, concession guys and cleaners.  Suffice to say, this didn’t please some of the Star’s readers…

My guess is that Grapes’ column was dictated to a reporter (hey, he doesn’t even run his own Twitter account!) who made sure to keep his colloquialisms intact.  For what it’s worth, I think they did a good job of capturing Cherry’s voice—reading the piece feels like you’re watching him on TV.  But hey, if a reported $800K salary puts him in the lower echelon, then I’m heading down to the welfare office this weekend (and not to pull a Ralph Klein, either!)…

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As far as I’m concerned, the Games going back to CBC is NOT a good thing…

So, CBC has won the rights to broadcast the next two Olympic Games, as the network proudly announced on its website today.  Forget about the whole “publicly-funded, cost to taxpayers” argument for a minute—from an Olympics enthusiast’s perspective, is this really a good thing?

Watching the last two Olympic broadcasts, carried concurrently on CTV, TSN and Sportsnet, I can’t really complain.  As a frequent channel-changer, I am able to keep tabs on up to three events at once—four if you count the American coverage on NBC, which I try to avoid unless all three Canadian networks are on commercial break at the same time.  (No offence to the U.S., but when I watched the semis of the men’s 100 freestyle swimming event last night, NBC didn’t make one mention of Canadian swimmer Brent Hayden, who qualified for the final with a close fourth-place finish.)  With CBC, I can’t really do that.  As I recall in ’08, they showed some events on their subscriber-only Bold network and provided occasional coverage on CBC Newsworld on slow news days, but the fact remains that there simply aren’t as many CBC channels on cable as there are Bell/Rogers consortium-controlled networks.  And when you’ve got only one pool of studio hosts and play-by-play announcers to draw from, as opposed to three, one can only assume that the public broadcaster won’t be able to cover as many events as the current trio does.  For instance, would we get full event coverage of the judo competition that led to a Canadian bronze for Antoine Valois-Fortier from a single-network provider?  I think not…  Are they even showing judo in the States?

Although I didn’t see any live Olympic events yesterday, I was able to catch replays of all of Canada’s biggest events—not just the highlights—in prime time.  Sportsnet showed all of Valois-Fortier’s matches from the quarter-finals onwards (I gotta say, judo’s kind of a fun sport to watch!), while CTV provided coverage of the top contenders’ last couple dives in women’s 10m synchro, where Canada won bronze.  I switched back to Sportsnet to watch extensive coverage of women’s weightlifting, where Christine Girard won another bronze for Canada, then flipped over to TSN to catch Canada’s thrilling comeback against Sweden in women’s soccer, shown almost in its entirety.  Did I mention that all this occurred within the span of a couple hours?  It would likely take all night to cram all that coverage onto one network—you can bet it would be greatly abbreviated, otherwise.

Besides, does CBC even show any sports besides hockey, nowadays?  While they may take the initiative to broadcast some Olympic events in the years leading up to the Games, and can probably find some past Canadian Olympians to provide colour commentary, I don’t think they’re best equipped to handle any extensive sporting event coverage that doesn’t involve Don Cherry.  CBC may have won with their bid for Olympic broadcast rights, but I think Canadian sports fans will lose out over the next four years.

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Who did Salman Rushdie ever slew-foot?

From: http://www.theprovince.com/news/Parents+outraged+after+opposing+hockey+coach+trips+player/6845210/story.html

Talk about a sore… winner!?  Hockey parents across the nation are outraged after a Vancouver coach was caught on film tripping a pair of opposing players during the post-game handshake of a championship game—in which his team won the gold medal.  Did I mention that the kids on the ice were between 10 and 13 years old, and one of the ones who fell now has a broken wrist?  A few online commentors are calling for a limb-for-a-limb, as it were, threatening to “break his face,” while some are taking it even further:

Okay, so Salman Rushdie created quite a stir with The Satanic Verses in ’88, but it’s kinda hard to make a correlation between writing off an entire religion and tripping a kid on the ice.  Not unless Don Cherry declares a fatwa on the guy—which isn’t gonna happen with Hockey Night in Canada off the air.  (In any case, I will hafta keep an eye on Grapes’ Twitter account…)  Suggesting that this guy is going to generate the kind of outrage that Rushdie did may be a bit of stretch.  Oh, and speaking of exaggeration:

Don’t get me wrong, this guy’s a scumbag, but if breaking a kid’s wrist is worthy of a life sentence, we’re gonna hafta start building more prisons—which would probably satisfy a portion of the Conservative majority’s voter base, mind you…

Somebody give Jared Keeso a medal!

I was flipping through the channels last nite when I saw that Wrath of Grapes: The Don Cherry Story II was playing on the CBC, a sequel to their earlier miniseries, Keep Your Head Up, Kid: The Don Cherry Story, this one taking a closer look at his broadcasting career–albeit with some flashbacks to the past.  I recognized some of these scenes as being lifted from Hockey Stories Part 2, a book written by Grapes, and I suppose the first set of Hockey Stories also contributed to the film.  Furthermore, I also recognized the same lead actors, Jared Keeso and Sarah Manninen, reprising their roles from the original miniseries.

I gotta say, playing Don Cherry is no small acting feat.  Not only do you hafta mimic the voice and the swagger, but in this case, you had to put yourself in the skin of a much-older man.  Keeso, who’s only 27, required an inordinate amount of makeup to look like the withered Grapes of his post-playing days.  And while he couldn’t quite pass for 70, kinda like that kid from China in the mask, he ably conveyed the personality of Canada’s greatest conservative ambassador with ease and a lack of grace befitting of the man himself.  Sadly, Cherry could not be reached for comment on Twitter–though, on an unrelated note, he tweeted that Kipper’s the best goalie in the league. ;)

A virtual unknown before being cast as the World’s Greatest Canadian, Keeso had previously appeared in nine episodes of Canadian TV series “Search and Rescue” and had bit parts in films like Smokin’ Aces 2 (they made a sequel!?) and forgettable teen comedy I Love You, Beth Cooper.  Though his post-Cherry resume is less than illustrious–he played a character named Juicebox in A Beginner’s Guide to Endings and is slated to appear in the upcoming Matt Damon vehicle Baja Dunes–you can bet that from now until he can afford plastic surgery, he’ll be asked to do “the Don Cherry voice” everywhere he goes.

Good on ya, kid!

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Hockey, the perfect sport for American football and baseball fratboy rejects!

From: http://thestar.blogs.com/thespin/2012/03/silliness.html

The new CBC Coach’s Corner account on Twitter now has thousands of followers, even though Don Cherry doesn’t control it.  You know what else he has no control over?  His mouth.  I must say that I did not watch Coach’s Corner last weekend, since the Flames weren’t on Hockey Night in Canada, but apparently Grapes believes that the Leafs would be a better team if they had more players from Ontario.  Y’know, cuz the rest of Canada wouldn’t be good enough.  And besides, look at how well the Flames are doing with all those good ol’ Alberta boys, eh?

The Star’s Damien Cox, himself a TV/radio personality, does not agree with Cherry’s narrow-minded stance.  But you know who does?  This guy!

 

Considering that most NHL players are drafted at 18, and college frat boys presumably wouldn’t get cut from the football or baseball teams until they actually go to college, they clearly must be outstanding athletes if they can learn to skate and pick up the game in a matter of months to be picked up by an NHL team—so maybe drafting them isn’t such a bad idea after all. ;)

Shit Don Cherry Says: Grapes opens a Twitter account!

Postmedia News is reporting that Don Cherry has started a Twitter account.  Well, sorta.  @CoachsCornerCBC will be run by CBC producer Kathy Broderick, albeit with “input” from the most hated man in Quebec (not named Jean Charest).  “I don’t Twitter, whatever that is,” Grapes told George Stroumboulopoulos.  “I don’t have a cellphone, so I have no idea what’s going on. I trust Kathy Broderick.”  In that case, why not just call it @ShitDonCherrySays?  I mean, that’s not a copyright violation, is it?

Although @CoachsCornerCBC hasn’t tweeted yet, it already has over 3,300 followers, while following just three CBC-related accounts.  The suspense is killing me…  What will Cherry’s first tweet (via his producer) be?  And more importantly, what does he think of putting an NHL team in Saskatoon?  My guess is…

 

@CoachsCornerCBC: Beats Quebec City!

My take on the latest literature from the CBC’s right-wing pundits, Don Cherry and Rex Murphy…

Just finished reading Don Cherry’s Hockey Stories Part 2, which was a Christmas gift from my folks.  Am I the only one who’s surprised that the king of Rock ‘em Sock ‘em has put pen to paper not once, but twice?

Mind you, the writing style here in very informal, one story flowing into the next.  It’s almost as if someone sat down in a room with him for 12 hours, tape recorder in hand, and said “So, tell about that time in Chicago…”

Hockey Stories Part 2 touches on Cherry’s playing, coaching and broadcasting days, as well as his time running the show with the (then) Mississauga Ice Dogs.  We also get stories from his upbringing in Kingston, along with tales of his heroes like Admiral Nelson.  And to be sure, he takes the time to attack his critics and comment on how left-wing, liberal society is going to the dogs.  One memorable line comes from a story about an old tavern in Kingston, where he used to go for a few pops.  Back in the day, it was for men only until, and here I quote: “The women’s libbers said, ‘No.  You cannot have something for men only.  We have to be involved.’ You know how governments are.  They have to be politically correct, so they stopped all the fun and abolished the men-only rooms.  Maybe that’s when I started to dislike political correctness.”

Although it’s Don’s name and face on the cover, we also get to hear from his two adult children, Tim and Cindy, who each get their own chapter to share their hockey stories at the back of the book.  It’s interesting to see the family’s perspective on growing up with Grapes, and let’s just say that often times, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

With its large type and short, snappy anecdotes, Hockey Stories Part 2 is a light, rapid read that an able-minded lector could devour quite quickly, at more than a page per minute.  Then again, you’d hafta question how able-minded someone reading a book by Don Cherry might be…  Did I mention it was a Christmas gift?

I take it there must be a CBC store in Ottawa or something, since my folks also gave me Canada and Other Matters of Opinion by Rex Murphy this holiday season.  Although equally aligned on the political spectrum (in fact, Murphy’s opening essay describes why Don Cherry would make a good governor general!), the difference between Murphy and Cherry when it comes to vocabulary, literary style and diction is akin to comparing the Encyclopedia Britannica to this Wikipedia entry on English footballer Edward Adams.

Canada and Other Matters of Opinion is, in fact, a collection of columns written by Murphy over the past eight years or so and published in The Globe and Mail, during which time the man waxes on everything from Islamic fundamentalism to the new novel by Pamela Anderson (yes, she actually wrote a book, too!)  Murphy’s style is droll yet highly educated, distributing literary references like pucks at practice while delivering a sly dose of highbrow humour.  I particularly enjoyed him pointing out the banalities of celebrity culture, and also his reminiscences of his native Newfoundland, which is, incidentally, the lone Canadian province that I haven’t set foot in.

I’ll admit that I best knew Murphy from his election-night coverage and the pointy-headed caricature regularly portrayed by Colin Mochrie on This Hour Has 22 Minutes–of which no YouTube clips exist, sadly.  But after reading Canada and Other Matters of Opinion, I gotta say, there’s a lotta brains in that slanted noggin!

Advantage: Murphy.

A 16-year-old dies on the ice? That’s pucked up!

In a sad story from the murder capital of Canada, a 16-year-old hockey player died today after being hit in the neck with a puck in an AA midget hockey game in Edmonton.  First that football team from Grand Prairie, now this.  Why do these young, promising Albertan athletes have to die when Don Cherry remains among the living?

While there is no proof he shot the puck, word has it that the Montreal PD want to charge Zdeno Chara for murder, seeing as he got off scot-free in the Pacioretty incident.  Personally, I’d like to see Todd Bertuzzi take the blame.  Not that he had anything to with this; he ought to be blamed for everything wrong with the game of hockey.

In all seriousness, RIP Kyle Fundytus.