Tag Archives: darrell sheets

Storage Wars, you do not have what it takes to beat Ink Master. Pack up your units and leave!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Season Three of Storage Wars (re)starts tonight, which would normally be cause for celebration in the Casa del Espantoso (sadly, gruesome doesn’t have a more direct Spanish translation)–but I’m not really feeling it this time around.  I mean, I sat through two years and three (almost) full seasons of the storage-locker auction showdown, but I just can’t get up for it anymore.  Y’see, in the interim, a new reality show has taken its place in my viewing schedule, and I just don’t think Dave Hester, Darrell Sheets, Jarrod and Brandi have what it takes to beat Ink Master anymore.

I mean let’s face it, Storage Wars has descended into petty squabbles, bickering and overbidding of late.  Each of these newly-crowned reality-show superstars wants to throw his wallet around while tossing out lame put-downs like it’s 1994.  Whatever, dude.  They then take whatever items they find to be appraised–the ones that they don’t simply assign a nominal value to–and are awarded “profit points” based on what they’re told an item is worth.  Never mind that they don’t see a red cent until they actually sell the thing; that’s just not what the show’s about.

In fact, the show’s focus seems to have changed over the years.  It used to be about finding all these great items buried under a pile of crap, but now it’s “You won’t believe what Darrell said about Dave on this week’s show!”  I dunno man, but all this overblown, whiny, “my wallet is bigger than your wallet” drama has worn on me already.  In fact, I haven’t watched a single re-run episode since last season ended, or went on hiatus, or whatever you wanna call it.  Now if they did a prime-time special about Brandi Passante’s legal drama, I’d probably tune in to that, though…

On the other hand, the Ink Master competition takes a little more talent than the ability to yell “Yuuup” the loudest.  These artists must show their versatility by tattooing in a variety of styles, with the worst example in each weekly challenge getting someone sent home.  (Sadly, Storage Wars can’t just eliminate Dave Hester…)  Sure, like I’ve said before, giving the winner of the weekly flash challenge the ability to assign the human canvasses does add a little more drama, but at this point in the competition, the biggest drama queens (Clint, Kay Kutta) have already been sent home.  Here’s hoping that Sarah’s next.  Her bitching is worse than Darell on a day he gets outbid for everything!

But wait, what’s this?  Storage Wars airs at 9 (and 9:30) now, while Ink Master doesn’t start till 10?  Oooh, but that’s the same time as New Girl (and The Mindy Project).  Oh-oh, better get TiVo…

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Finally, another new episode of Storage Wars on A&E!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

 

After several weeks of reruns, A&E has finally blessed us with a brand-new episode of Storage Wars, airing tonite at the odd time of 9:30 ET.  As I suspected, the network has a new program to promote–a prison break/fugitive drama called Breakout Kings, which airs immediately afterwards.  Can’t say I’ll be watching it.

As for the straight goods, Zap2It offers the following episode summary for Season 2, Episode 33, entitled Highland Kings: “Darrell plays a hunch in Highland, Calif., while Jarrod and Brandi experience royal pains.”  I have no idea what that means, but I’m guessing that Jarrod and Brandi find some royal artifacts, while Darrell is just being Darrell.  No mention of Dave Hester, however.  Hmm, can you say Nooope?

Here Comes The Gambler… Murderer?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Since there haven’t been any new episodes of Storage Wars lately, the rumour mill is running on overdrive.  The latest?  Darrell Sheets, everybody’s favourite gambler, once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.  Well, maybe not, but according to Reality Weekly, the newest (and trashiest) supermarket tabloid, he’s been tied to a murder case.

Now, of course we all know to believe everything we read in the tabloids.  I mean, not only is Elvis still alive, but he was also abducted by aliens, haven’t you heard?  That said, you can only find out this and other important information by buying a copy of Reality Weekly.  Their website, which looks like it was designed by a 10 year old for 25 dollars, only offers two-paragraph previews of some of the biggest stories from its latest issue–and unfortunately, Darrell’s case didn’t make the cut.  If you want to find out more, you can apparently pick this rag up at WalMart “and other fine stores.”  Which fine stores?  Well, I called Indigo’s Eaton Centre location, and it’s not in their catalogue.  I’m guessing those fine stores would include The Monster Truck Accessory Center and Wifebeaters ‘R Us, however…  Not sure if Canadian WalMarts sell this either, but I intend to find out when I go on my next run for beer nuts and frozen pizza this weekend.

Mind you, I do have other sources of information at my disposal, such as the San Diego County police blotter, which I used to dig up this piece of information on Darrell’s home invasion a few months ago.  (Apparently that kid’s gone to jail for a couple years.)  Hmm, let’s see if they say anything about a murder in Vista…

Well, apparently a man was booked into the Vista Detention Facility a couple weeks back and charged with murder.  That said, unless Jeffrey Steven McCreary, 42, is one of Darrell’s drinking buddies, I fail to see the connection.  On the other hand, there’s a wanted bank robber in Santee who looks a lot like The Gambler, judging by these photos provided by the Sheriff’s office.  Not that I’m implying anything…

In any case, the cast of Storage Wars are well-known enough now that if one of them actually killed someone, it wouldn’t just be Reality Weekly reporting on it.  Thus, if Darrell’s connected to a killing in any way, it’s probably tentative at best.  So you can simmer down now, Ini Kamoze!

UPDATE 2/18: Sadly, I can now confirm that WalMart doesn’t sell Reality Weekly in Canada, as it was neither on the magazine rack nor at the checkout counter of the Dufferin Mall location.  (On the plus side, I did get a great deal on some frozen pizza!)  That said, I’m sticking with my original story: Darrell didn’t do it!

Man, the Storage Auction Hunter Wars are really heating up these days!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Back when I first professed my love for Storage Auction TV shows, my routine was pretty straight-forward.  “Auction Hunters” was on Tuesday, and “Storage Wars” aired on Wednesday, with all-nite marathons of each program being the norm.  However, as the two shows entered a new season, A&E decided to up the ante by moving its cash cow to Tuesday nites, going head-to-head with Spike’s auction show.  The latter countered by giving away a million bucks (on the eve of its rival’s premiere, anyways) and introducing a new show, “Flip Men,” in its 10:30 slot.

If you haven’t seen “Flip Men,” well, it seems that Spike scoured the country to find a pair of house flippers who look exactly like Allen Haff and Ton Jones.  Mike Baird is the geeky, know-it-all businessman/real estate agent, while Doug Clark is the brawn of the operation, a dude who can rip down a deck with his bare hands.  While a show about flipping houses isn’t all that exciting, each week they find a way to up the ante.  It’s like one week, we had a guy who didn’t wanna leave his stuff behind in foreclosed home, so the next time, we’ll have a squatter.  We’ve already done the Mexican gang-occupied house, so this week, we’ll buy a house where somebody got shot.  That kinda thing.  Mind you, the squatter episode didn’t really live up to the hype, so I’m keeping my expectations in check from now on.

“Auction Hunters” have sorta upped the ante in their own right, with episodes like their L.A. homecoming, where they banked five-figure profits on just two units.  Which brings me back to my initial question: with both the Auction Hunters and the Storage Wars crews circling the same turf, isn’t it just a matter of time before they’re forced to do battle?  I wonder which network will score the rights to that epic event.  (Mind you, I think Dave and Jarrod would just raise the bidding on all the units, leaving Allen and Ton empty-handed.)

As for Storage Wars, well, this season seems to have brought out the extremes in its stars’ personalities.  Darrell is becoming more and more of a grumpy old man (I liked his god-awful Godfather impression there), Dave becomes more of a jackass with each episode while Jarrod’s ego grows by the minute–and is it just me, or have Brandi’s boobs gotten bigger, too?  Meanwhile, Barry continues to throw his money at any unit with a trunk in it, and while he brings character to the show, it’s gotten to the point where I’m almost begging him not to bid.  I guess I’m more like Darrell–or more like Allen and Ton, for that matter–if I can’t double my money, I’m walking away.  Perhaps Barry’s philosophy should be “If I can’t make back my money, time to stop bidding.”  How much cash does that guy have, anyways!?

By the way, I’d love to see Mark Balelo make another appearance after his “$13,000 Nintendo” purchase.  I could use a laugh.  Am I the only one who thinks that some of the regulars are also overvaluing their items–Dave Hester in particular?  Mind you, no one’s been as bad as Mark when it comes to throwing money away…

Bottom line, I’d rather work with the Auction Hunters, but when it comes to prime-time drama, give me Storage Wars any day!  I’ll just hafta catch up with Allen and Ton during their next marathon on Spike.

While y’all were watching that Storage Wars marathon last weekend, the San Diego County sheriff caught two kids who coulda robbed Darrell!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Y’know, ever since I made that post expressing a few views on Storage Wars some three weeks ago, I’ve had a ton of traffic from folks wanting to know what’s the deal with Darell, who mentioned off-hand that he’s dealing with a divorce, a child custody battle and even a home invasion.  It seems it’s the latter that people are most interested in, however–as a matter of fact, I’ve had 542 page views (and counting!) coming from Google searches for darrell sheets home invasion, not including some crazy misspellings, and wacky questions pertaining to said incident.  But I’ve had no answers to what they might have been looking for, at least not until now…

But first, a word to the wise: When there’s a murder or a child abduction, the cops will post the name of the victim to elicit sympathy (and helpful tips) from the public.  But when there’s a rape, for instance, they tend to omit the victim’s name for privacy and safety reasons–just like when there’s been a break-in.  And Darrell Sheets is not enough of a celebrity to have tabloids digging up dirt on him, which is why when you Google “darrell sheets home invasion,”  you only get me, a couple message board topics, and some blogger from the Houston Chronicle.

That said, we all know that Darrell lives in Vista, in San Diego County, right?  Thus, you might wanna check out the San Diego County Sheriff’s web site.  Hmm, I betcha they have a News Release section…  And what’s that I see on the first page?  Of course, we don’t know that Darell lives in Moncado Springs, or that Taylor Brylla and his little brother were the ones who robbed his house, but hey, it’s a start…

UPDATE 9:33 AM: So, now that you know the name of the suspect, you can use Google to find out a lot more about the case.  For example, this Channel 10 News story confirms that the unidentified 14-year-old is Brylla’s brother, and includes a video interview with the neighbour who reported them to police.  There is also a Taylor Brylla from Oceanside on Facebook, though his profile is set to private.  Probably just as well, should one of those 1,000-member strong Darrell Sheets fan pages get word of this. ;)

Finally, here is a photograph of the alleged home invader, taken from one of the victims’ home surveillance system:

SEARCH TERM OF THE DAY: Hey, is Storage Wars on tonite?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Looks like it must be, judging from the search terms that are bringing people to this site. ;)

Out of curiosity, I actually Googled darrell sheets home invasion to see what comes up.  Turns out, there are only three pages that mention it–unless you’re counting Trooper Daryl Sheets–and two of them are on this blog.

That said, if anyone knows his address, or even which county he lives in, I will see what I can find out.  If I learned anything in journalism school, it was how to harness the power of Google, heh heh…