With the House of Commons locked in a marathon session to vote on many amendments to Bill C-38, the debate is raging online against the government, the opposition—and sometimes, both sides at the same time, as this “enlightened” commentor on CTV demonstrates:
I take it he’ll be voting for the Christian Heritage Party in the next election…
The latest twist in the ongoing robocalls scandal saw Stephen Harper go back into his bag of (dirty) tricks and pull out the tried-and-true Conservative tactic of blaming the Liberals. ”I wonder if the reason the honourable leader of the Liberal party will not in fact show us his evidence is it will point in fact that it was the Liberal party that made these calls,” Our Fearless Leader proclaimed in question period, referring to the harassing phone calls that originated from the United States. On the CTV comment sections, this Redneck Albertan takes things a step further. He’s not blaming the docile Liberal red, but the most heinous Reds of all—the Commies!
And if you call within the next 10 minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we’ll throw in this astounding comment at no extra charge:
(This would hafta be the first time I’ve seen the Bachar al-Assad dictatorship referred to as liberal—sorry, fiberal—and I have no prior knowledge of them making robocalls. Why do I get the feeling that the above commentor has never been to Syria?)
From: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20120126/mexico-nabb-beating-mazatlan-20120126/
The latest in the tragic story of the fine, outstanding Calgarian woman who was brutally attacked in Mazatlan, Mexico is that her attacker is likely a fellow tourist. This according to local authorities, who say “the suspect isn’t dressed like a hotel staff member or a local resident, meaning he may be another tourist.” Wait, do we really dress that differently from your average Mexican? Could they tell he was a tourist cuz he had socks on under his sandals? I don’t get it…
That said, if you thought the above was a stupid statement, wait till you see this:
My sweet Sue, may your fingers burn as you pinch our lightbulbs, you dumb, ignorant, illiterate sow. Let me guess—you’re probably from Saskatchewan, am I right?
Here’s another one for the “Oh geez, not that shit again!” file. Today, the majority Conservative government voted in a new auditor general, Michael Ferguson, who doesn’t speak French—which is kinda funny when you consider that he comes from New Brunswick, the only officially bilingual province in the country. (I have Anglophone cousins in New Brunswick who speak French fluently, just sayin’…) Sure, he says that he’ll become fully bilingual in a year, but I can’t see how he’ll find the time to learn French with all that auditing he has to do. Besides, it generally takes more than a year to become fluent in another language. Just ask Stephen Harper—or Jean Chretien, for that matter…
Of course, many unilingual commentors on CTV figure that a year would be plenty of time. After all, they speak two languages: English and Albertan. (I guess that makes me trilingual, eh?) Meanwhile, this guy says he was “borning” in the east and he knows all about Quebec. One thing he doesn’t know about? Punctuation.
Hey buddy, if you really do speak the language, try getting service in French out there in BC. I think you’ll find they want “just English” in their province. Well okay, just English, Cantonese, Mandarin, Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Japanese… but the “other language” still doesn’t have it easy out west, something that people fail to realize when they bring up the old “They only speak French in Quebec” routine…
(You should see some of the reactions on the French sites, BTW…)
Today, the Conservative government made the long-awaited announcement that it will finally be scrapping the long-gun registry—and there ain’t a dadgum thing y’all lefty fascists can do about it! On the event of such a momentous occasion, I could not limit myself to just one distinguished comment, so here are a handful of my favourites from the 160+ responses (and counting!) on CTV.
Here, spencer advances a popular argument that criminals don’t register their guns, then uses Libya as an example where not having a gun registry was a good thing. Which is to say that if most people who don’t abide by our laws don’t register their guns, people opposed to the government in an African dictatorship would be lining up to sign up theirs. Right. Of course, he’s also ignoring the fact that most of the Libyan rebels’ arms were supplied by NATO… Were they even registered in their countries of origin?
A. Rock, I think you’re oversimplifying things, buddy. Sure, the registry was a reaction to l’École Polytechnique, but I think it was meant to protect more than just female engineering students. Any relation to J-Rock, BTW?
Well, I guess we all know which breakfast cereal Dean eats. Hint: it’s not the Breakfast of Champions…
GHW, are you sure your initials aren’t really GWB? This guy believes that gun ownership is a human right, and that the Fascists were left-wing. Don’t you try to fool him twice—he don’t get fooled again!
Here, PJR puts things in perspective by reminding us that the Conservatives have seen their share of boondoggles, too. Well played, sir.
And finally, looks like Dubya’s back with a sobering reminder that listening to Barry Manilow will kill you. Thanks for the heads-up!
UPDATE 4:26 PM: The CBC has put together a story compiling 10 public opinions on the gun registry, both pro and Con. Clearly, they’ve saved the best for last:
“This is a great first step and a cause for celebration among all responsible firearms owners. We have spent long hours on Parliament Hill and endured several false starts with Private Member’s Bills that didn’t succeed in the previous minority government. When this majority government stands to reject the registry, every Canadian should rejoice in the new-found fairness and freedom for sports shooters, hunters and trappers.” — Tony Bernardo, Canadian Shooting Sports Association
I know that I’m going to invite every sports shooter, hunter and trapper I know for a celebration at my place. By the way buddy, is that a fake name, or did you just happen to be named after two characters from West Side Story?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing funny about Hep or HIV, even if the chances of getting either from Dr. Farazli’s clinic are less than one in a million. But when a commentor with the screen name Canada Post is asking why letters are being mailed? That’s pretty funny, if you ask me.
It gets better when an actual postie calls out said poster on this:
Personally, I’d probably prefer to receive notice via email. I mean, the provincial government surely has my electronic health records, don’t they? 
From: http://ottawa.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20111011/missing-women-inquiry-robert-pickton-111011/20111011/?hub=OttawaHome and http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2011/10/11/robert-pickton-inquiry.html
It seems that you can’t have a crime debate in B.C. without the discussion going to pot. On CTV, a woman wants to bring back the death penalty for “drug dealers and producers”… (Remind me when we executed drug dealers, again?)
While over at the CBC, a commenter blames the VPD’s pursuit of peaceful pot growers for not catching Pickton sooner.
Kinda shows the gulf between our two national networks—and their viewers—doesn’t it?
Hey, I’m no fan of McGuinty either, but this guy makes him sound like a tyrant from the middle ages…
With Vancouver being the unofficial marijuana capital of Canada, you’re bound to hear some crazy theories from time to time from someone who smokes a little too much wacky tobaccy. JT is clearly one of those people. I can’t decide whether he’s advocating communism, public beheadings or the Boston Tea Party. Perhaps all of the above.
If there was going to be a Boston Tea Party in Vancouver, wouldn’t that require dumping reefer into the Pacific Ocean?
