“And if you order The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine in the next 10 minutes, we’ll throw in a bridge to Baghdad!”

An Iranian scientist is claiming to have accomplished an achievement equalled by no one in his field since Doc Brown in ’85—and he didn’t even need a Delorean to do so!  As The Telegraph reports, Ali Razeghi’s invention, The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine, “can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user.”  Using a complex combination of advanced algorithms, theocratic  propaganda and good old fashioned bullshit, The Aryayek (named for its inventor’s favourite goat) can “predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy,” he told the Fars news agency.

Soooo, that means the regime will be able to destroy all infidels, right?  “Naturally a government that can see five years into the future would be able to prepare itself for challenges that might destabilise it,” he said. “As such we expect to market this invention among states as well as individuals once we reach a mass production stage.”  Maaaan, I can’t wait to get my hands on one of these beauties!  So, what’s the hold-up?

“The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight,” Razeghi says.  Because all it takes is one CPC apparatchik with an Aryayek prototype to figure out how to make millions of a device that doesn’t even exist while all the world’s asleep. ;)

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COMMENT OF THE DAY: How not to vote for the Conservative party…

From: http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/02/28/guelph-and-everything-after/

The latest on the robocall scandal is that the phone used to call RackNine was registered to a Pierre Poutine of Separatist Street in Joliette, Quebec.  Yeah, that’s not a fake name or anything.  Did I mention there’s a Pierre’s Poutine in Guelph?  The Ottawa Citizen does here.  And Restaurantica gives it 3.5 stars!

That said, the most interesting conversation I’ve read on the topic today comes from a Macleans Magazine blog that does little more than provide a couple links to other stories.  I like how the respondent misconstrued the question here.  Gee, the CPC wouldn’t know anything about that, would they?

 

(What happens if you go to vote after work, though?)