COMMENT OF THE DAY: Well, she does turn 69 next year…

From: http://www.torontosun.com/2012/07/04/feds-wont-ok-foreign-temps-from-working-as-strippers

Human Resources Minister Diane Finley announced today that the government will no longer allow temporary foreign sex-trade workers into the country, effective July 14th.  You know who announced yesterday that she’ll be retiring from political office two weeks later?  Bev Oda.  Think these two announcements have nothing to do with each other?  Think again…

Betcha can’t get that disturbing picture outta yer head, eh?  Alas, even if the Conservatives are raising the retirement age to 67, it doesn’t mean strippers should still be working up to that age, whether they’re former Ministers for International Cooperation or otherwise.

About these ads

To be fair to the DND, those pucks were made from weapons-grade plutonium…

The National Post is reporting that the Department of National Defence has spent $438,385 on “promotional pucks, sports jerseys, plastic wrist bands and golf balls” over the past five years, spending more than four times what every single other government department and agency spent on those items during that time span.  The damages include:

  • over $238,000 in rubber bracelets and silicone wrist bands
  • $176,000 on more than 100,000 hockey pucks
  • $23,000 on jerseys (no word as to how many Gretzkys were purchased)
  • just over $3,000 on 90 boxes of golf balls

What’s scariest is that this spending spree really only took place over three years, as the Post reports “there was only one purchase of such promotional material from 2011 to 2012, as organizations were directed to use existing inventory.”  Seems to me they had enough “inventory” to last for quite a while…

Now, it sounds like they got a pretty good deal on pucks at a buck-seventy-five apiece, but did they really need 100-grand of them?  Apparently they gave out the rubber at NHL games, but I can safely say I never received one—mind you I only attend one Leafs game a year when the Flames are in town.  In any case, 100K pucks is enough to give one to each and every ticketholder of five sellout games at the ACC—and still have 6,000 pucks left over.  And that’s assuming everyone grabs a puck.  I take it they didn’t have too many takers at le Centre Bell…

While it’s clear that the Conservatives want to expand the Armed Forces to have an abundance of potential pilots for their flashy fleet of F-35s, I’m not sure that spending almost half a mil on pucks and bracelets is the best way to do so.  I know that a free hockey puck would not lead me to the nearest recruitment station, that’s for sure!

Stephen Harper to ban bath salts!? What’s next, mandatory minimums for providing facials?

The National Post is reporting today that the Conservative government is planning on banning bath salts.  This is outrageous.  Maybe Stephen Harper likes having dry skin, but he shouldn’t prevent the rest of the country from enjoying a little exfoliation every once in a while.

Not only that, but Epsom bath salts have all kinds of other health benefits, according to this handy-dandy website, including, but not limited to:

  • Improved heart and circulatory health, reducing irregular heartbeats, preventing hardening of the arteries, reducing blood clots and lowering blood pressure.
  • Flushed toxins and heavy metals from the cells, easing muscle pain and helping the body to eliminate harmful substances.
  • Relieved stress. Excess adrenaline and stress are believed to drain magnesium, a natural stress reliever, from the body. Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood-elevating chemical within the brain that creates a feeling of well being and relaxation.
  • Prevention or easing of migraine headaches.

Gee, it sounds like using bath salts could add years to your life—and our right-wing, fascist dictators want to take them away from us!  I guess they’re hoping we all die sooner so they don’t hafta pay us OAS.  What’s next, extermination camps!?  We must stop Harper before it’s too late!!!!11110

Oh wait, they’re talking about a drug that looks like bath salts, contains amphetamine-like substances and turns people into face-eating zombies?  Yeah okay, those probably should be banned, then. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: There is no bad job–except for WalMart!

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/editorials/sweeping-ei-reform-deserves-scrutiny-of-commons-debate/article2442654/

The Conservative government has introduced new EI legislation that would expect unemployed Canadians to accept jobs with lower wages, up to an hour away from home, should their job searches prove unsuccessful beyond a prescribed time period.  Finance Minister Jim Flaherty has backed the legislation, saying “there is no bad job” and that he was once a taxi driver and a hockey ref—probably when he was a teenager.  That said, those aren’t bad jobs compared to working at WalMart, or so I’m told…

Mind you, Flaherty would never have to accept that job under the new legislation.  Even as an “occasional claimant” (do voted-out MPs even claim EI?), he would not be expected to take a job paying less than 70 per cent of his current salary.  I’m pretty sure a stock boy makes a lot less than that!

COMMENT OF THE DAY: You take it up the bum, baby…

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/ottawa-notebook/your-wallet-just-got-a-bit-lighter-ottawa-nixes-sin-cards/article2433258/

The Conservative government today announced a new measure that will save $1.5-million a year by getting rid of SIN cards.  Which begs the question, how will people keep track of their Social Insurance Numbers?  This Globe and Mail commentor offers an interesting alternative…

(Now, bend over and touch your toes!)

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Fourbir ses armes

Fourbir ses armes: To prepare for war, a battle or confrontation.

As seen in: « Les partis d’opposition à Ottawa ont fourbi leurs armes contre le gouvernement conservateur lors de la période de question pour des appels frauduleux durant les élections en mai dernier. »

(Translation: “The federal opposition parties came prepared for war against the Conservative government during Question Period over the fraudulent calls during the election last May.”)

http://www.branchez-vous.com/info/opinions/evenement/2012/02/le_parti_conservateur_a_triche.html

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Wait, you mean Santa doesn’t really exist!?

From: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/dead+Alberta+home+RCMP/6116455/story.html

Although the Conservative government has stated that it doesn’t want to bring back capital punishment, regular conservatives seem to have other ideas, with a recent cop killing in rural Alberta bringing the issue back into the spotlight (for the umpteenth time).  While you could say that murderers might not take into account that killing someone could cost them their life, this commentor goes even further:

 

I like how he begins his sentence with “Lordy Lord” then implies that the bible’s not factual.  Could he not find a more atheistic exclamation?  Mind you, I suppose a harsher epithet might be removed by the moderators—after all, the Vancouver Sun is not owned by Sun Media, where anything goes (especially in regards to McGuinty).

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Mo’ Premiers, Mo’ Problems!

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/charest-demands-debate-on-unacceptable-federal-health-deal/article2304097/

So, apparently Quebec Premier Jean Charest finds the Conservative government’s proposal to potentially reduce federal healthcare funding after 2014 unacceptable.  Hey, didn’t he used to be leader of the Progressive Conservative party?  Then again, he’s now the head of the Equalization Payment province…  Mind you, he’s not the only premier opposed to reducing funding, as this poster pointedly points out:

 

Somebody cue the Billy Idol.  “In the midnight hour…” you know the rest. ;)