Despite an online poll in which some 12,599 Slovaks voted to name a pedestrian and bicycle bridge after Chuck Norris, local officials have decided to call it Freedom Cycling-Bridge—which finished ninth in the poll with a mere 457 tallies. Looks like communism is alive and well in the Eastern Bloc…
On the other hand, “The Red Scare in America actually had nothing to do with Communism. Chuck Norris was just wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey that day.”
Does moving to Cuba automatically make you a communist? Maybe not, but moving to a communist country won’t put you in Tony Clement’s good books—unless you did so in the 1930’s. As the National Post reports, the Minister of Fake Lakes criticized a Globe and Mail editor who was moving to Castro country, where his wife works for an NGO or something. He interrupted his Twitter tirade, however, to cut the red ribbon on a new visitor’s centre at the Norman Bethune Memorial House, named for that great Canadian hero who saved many lives—in Communist China under Mao.
“My point was to celebrate things other than his communism. You chose to live in a communist country. Big difference,” Clement tweeted. Then again, Bethune also chose to live in a communist country, but I guess that didn’t make him a bad guy. The Sun News Network remains unequivocal, however. “Today @tonyclementCPC gave $2.5 million of your tax dollars to honour Mao apologist Bethune. Mao killed over 60 million.” I don’t think Bethune had a hand in any of those deaths, but I digress…
The latest twist in the ongoing robocalls scandal saw Stephen Harper go back into his bag of (dirty) tricks and pull out the tried-and-true Conservative tactic of blaming the Liberals. ”I wonder if the reason the honourable leader of the Liberal party will not in fact show us his evidence is it will point in fact that it was the Liberal party that made these calls,” Our Fearless Leader proclaimed in question period, referring to the harassing phone calls that originated from the United States. On the CTV comment sections, this Redneck Albertan takes things a step further. He’s not blaming the docile Liberal red, but the most heinous Reds of all—the Commies!
And if you call within the next 10 minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we’ll throw in this astounding comment at no extra charge:
(This would hafta be the first time I’ve seen the Bachar al-Assad dictatorship referred to as liberal—sorry, fiberal—and I have no prior knowledge of them making robocalls. Why do I get the feeling that the above commentor has never been to Syria?)
With Vancouver being the unofficial marijuana capital of Canada, you’re bound to hear some crazy theories from time to time from someone who smokes a little too much wacky tobaccy. JT is clearly one of those people. I can’t decide whether he’s advocating communism, public beheadings or the Boston Tea Party. Perhaps all of the above.
If there was going to be a Boston Tea Party in Vancouver, wouldn’t that require dumping reefer into the Pacific Ocean?