Tag Archives: clothing

Because apparently, this dress makes you look like a large sea creature…

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Target reportedly has to temporarily take a plus-sized product off its website because its colour scheme invoked a rather large sea creature.  As pictured here, the Mossimo Women’s Kimono Maxi Dress was offered in “Dark Heather Gray” in regular sizes, but the plus-sized version was sold in “Manatee Gray” instead—which is essentially the same colour.  Frankly, I’m surprised someone named Heather hadn’t already complained about the slimmer version…

But the company insists it didn’t intend to make any correlation between larger women and sea cows, either.  A Target spokesman told Forbes “there were two different teams of buyers responsible for the ‘missy’ and plus-size product lines, and the teams didn’t coordinate when they inputted the product information for the site. One team apparently used the color’s official name, while the other eyeballed it.”  And yes, manatee gray is an official colour name at Target.  According to Forbes, it’s also used for “women’s regular and even petite sizes.”

Gee, you’d think the last thing you’d want to say to a petite woman is that her dress reminds you of a  1,200 pound species in which the females tend to be heavier.  Perhaps they should simply save the manatee for plus-sized men’s pajamas?

About these ads

CBS sez… No bare fleshy under curves allowed!

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Reuters is reporting that America’s Most Watched NetworkTM doesn’t want to be caught with its pants down at the Grammys—and that goes for its performers, too!  In an email entitled “55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory” that was reportedly sent to all attendees, The Eye in the Sky lays down the law, explicitly stating that the following are not permitted:

  • buttocks and female breasts (must be “adequately covered”)
  • thong type costumes (considered “problematic”)
  • bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack (“please avoid exposing”)
  • bare sides or under curvature of the breasts (“also problematic”)
  • sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples (are male breast nipples OK, then?)
  • visible “puffy” bare skin exposure (not sure about this one, but it apparently has to do with the “genital region”)
  • commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts (what about on hoodies?)
  • Foreign language on wardrobe (unless it’s been cleared… calisse de tabarnak!)
  • OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST (WE!!!! CANNOT!!!! STRESS THIS!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!11110)
  • any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe—which “would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory”

 Aaaaaand there goes any reason I had to watch the Grammys! :(

Got tattoos? Moore’s wants you! (Or do they?)

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Spotted this at Eglinton station yesterday.  Though the camera phone shot is a little blurry (click for larger image), what we have here on the left is an ad for Moore’s menswear featuring some hipster-looking dude with visible arm and neck tattoos.  Buddy also appears on their website–although once you click on, say, Suits or Outerwear, we’re met with pictures of either the typical fashion-model or distinguished older gentleman types.  I guess the tattooed dude just doesn’t look as good in a sportscoat…

That said, his inclusion in their ad campaign is a bit of a bold step for what is considered more of a conservative men’s store–even if the posters in question were specifically advertising their Yonge & Eg–y’know, Young and Eligibile–location.  If they’re casting their net a bit wider, it might be because their parent company, The Men’s Wearhouse, Inc, took a net income loss in the first quarter of the year and its stock recently took a dive on the NYSE after missing analyst estimates for the second quarter.  And hey, hipsters supposedly have money–even if it’s on (non-paybackable) loan from their parents.

That said, I don’t think the vest-and-sunglasses crowd can afford to buy tailored suits or shop at Ermenegildo Zegna.  Perhaps they’ll provide a revenue boost for the cash-depleted chain–but I won’t be surprised if Tip Top Tailors doesn’t follow, erm, suit.

(And yes, while I do have tattoos, they’re not on my neck.  Nor do I shop at Moores–not that I have anything wrong with them, unless hand-tattoo man also works in their sales department…)

Adidas is Breaking the Chains with its new design…

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Slaves to the latest sneaker fashions will have to find a new way of showing who’s their master now that Adidas has cancelled its $350-dollar “shackle shoes,” as per the Associated Press.  The JS Roundhouse Mid, which was to launch in August, came complete with orange ankle-chains that had critics accusing the company of promoting slavery.  Clearly, no self-respecting slave owner would have his chattel wearing anything less than the latest $350 Jeremy Scott design—but how else would you explain this outrageous idea?

By comparing it to a child’s toy, apparently.  ”My work has always been inspired by cartoons, toys & my childhood,” Scott said in a statement emailed to The Associated Press.  The inspiration in this case was a toy called My Pet Monster, a blue, furry creature with its arms—not its legs—in orange chains.  Hey, doesn’t Adidas make t-shirts, too?

Then again, despite the unfortunate placement of these not-so-stylish retro accessories, I think I can take Scott at his word here.  After all, it is quite a leap from making footwear depicting Mickey Mouse and panda bears to kicks designed to keep the black man down.

No more tainted blood in Eastern Townships!

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Montreal’s most notorious gay porn star may still be on the loose, but police in Sherbrooke have picked up another sinister customer who’s been sticking dirty needles inside garments at clothing stores dating back to January.  “A 49-year-old man was picked up around noon Thursday at the courthouse in this town two hours east of Montreal,” according to QMI.

The unidentified suspect had terrorized the Eastern Townships by concealing up to 24 blood-filled syringes in clothes at various outlets including Zellers, Hart and Intersport, pricking eight people in the process.  No information has been released as to when his preliminary hearing will take place.  Let’s just hope that blood doesn’t belong to Luka Rocco Magnotta or any of his victims…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Maybe Mark Zuckerberg just has a cold head?

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From: http://go.bloomberg.com/tech-deals/2012-05-08-zuckerbergs-hoodie-a-mark-of-immaturity-analyst-says-2/

As Facebook is about to go public, CEO Mark Zuckerberg has drawn the ire of an analyst over his choice of attire, notably his affinity for hooded sweatshirts.  As Michael Pachter of Wedbush Securities told Bloomberg TV, “I think that’s a mark of immaturity. I think that he has to realize he’s bringing investors in as a new constituency right now, and I think he’s got to show them the respect that they deserve because he’s asking them for their money.”  Because nothing says respect like a double-breasted suit.  That said, I personally never wear ‘em.

However, it seems there are plenty of investors who don’t get dressed up to the nines to log on to ETrade in their living rooms, either.  Case in point:

This just in: Zuckerberg’s hoodie now has its own Twitter account.  That’s odd; you’d think it would’ve created a Facebook fan page, first…

These days, the price of a pound of feathers is higher than a pound of bricks!

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The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the price of down is going up—big time.  According to the WSJ, prices have more than doubled in the past three years with a pound of goose feathers going from 12 bucks to 28 and duck feathers rising from 9 dollars to 19 since 2009.  Though there is no exchange that trades this invaluable commodity, a whole lotta down comes from China, where folks are leaving the feather farms behind for a wild life in Beijing Rock City.

This means that several producers of pillows, comforters and those ever-fashionable winter coats have seen their production costs increase significantly of late.  Though many have been taking a hit in their profit margins, it’s believed that this is unlikely to continue.  The North Face, for example, “is expecting to raise the price of its down products for the first time in five years.”  No word from any retailers north of the border, but when a Canada Goose duck down parka already goes for 800 bucks, chances are they’ll soon be outta the price range of still-striking students. ;)

Meanwhile, some companies have come up with alternatives to down.  Sears brand Land’s End will start selling merino wool coats while Columbia Sportswear has come up with its own synthetic insulation that should start to see wider use.  Hey, I can live with a synthetic-lined jacket, but they better not stop selling feather pillows any time soon.  As anyone who’s tried sleeping on a piece of foam knows, there’s nothing like the real thing, baby!

CONFESSIONS OF A FAT FUCK: I just hit the big 40 (no, not the one you think…)

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I have a confession to make: for several months, I have been wearing pants that were too small for me.  What with the recent rise in popularity of skinny jeans, I have been able to get away with this for some time, despite some degree of discomfort.  I guess it’s largely due to denial: hey, if I can still squeeze into a size 34, then I must be a 34, right?

Wrong.  With the Bay Days sale coinciding with a promotion at work, it was time to purchase some properly fitting trousers.  When it comes to jeans, I can still wear a 38, but when trying on dress pants, I found that I had to go up to the next size.  That’s right, the dreaded 4-0.  They don’t make ‘em much bigger unless you go to a Big and Tall store–or Rob Ford’s tailor.  (For the record, the mayor of this city still has about 100 pounds on me, as long as he keeps eating at KFC.)

That said, I suppose that trying on new pants after going on a weekend junk food and 10-dollar beer binge wasn’t the best idea.  After a couple days of light exercise (walking counts as exercise, right?), it seems I need to tighten my belt to the furthest loop to avoid the ire of General Larry Platt.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean that I need smaller pants, mind you, just a bigger belt.

Oh well, I suppose I’ll grow back into them soon enough, especially if I stay on the Double Down diet.  Not to mention that I’ll be a lotta drinking this weekend in the Steel City.  More on that later…