CTV News is reporting that a 38-year-old Ottawa man is being denied custody of his children because he’s too fat.  The man, who can’t be identified under the Child and Family Services Act, is the father to two boys, ages five and six, who are currently in foster care.  Though he tips the scales at 360 pounds, he’s already shaved 165 off a peak of 525 lbs—making his effort to cut the waist far more successful than the mayor of this city.  In fact, he only has 48 pounds to go before he weighs less than Rob Ford!

And it sounds like he’s determined to keep dropping those pounds, too.  According to CTV, “He says if he is not granted custody he will go to Parliament Hill Friday night to start a hunger strike.”  Cuz the best way to lose weight is by not eating anything at all, right?

Mind you, many people suspect that there is more to this story than the populist news network wants us to believe.  Even CTV notes that the man trying to get his kids back has “been accused of being too aggressive.”  But hey, it’s not like our mayor is anything but a docile, passive creature.  Just ask Mary Walsh, Daniel Dale or anyone who’s sat next to him at a Leafs game.

Note to Rob Ford: Don’t expect to be granted custody of your kids if you ever get divorced.