If you always wanted to date a decorator, your dreams could come true—if you’re between the age of 55 to 71, make over 150-grand a year and definitely don’t smoke. Being able to match your curtains with your dining set is likely to be considered an asset, as is being a fan of the TV series “House of Cards.” That’s right, America’s most high-profile mom-trepreneur is on the market, and she’s even created a profile on Match.com, thegoodlonglife—which also happens to be the name of her new book. So it’s sorta like that guy who wanted to meet you on LavaLife and encourage you to vote Conservative. (For the record, I no longer live in his riding.)
But perhaps this is more than a publicity stunt; can Martha Stewart really find love on the internet? We know she’s looking for a younger man (relatively speaking), and she recently told the Today Show, ”I’d like to have breakfast with somebody. I’d like to go to bed with somebody. Sleep with somebody.” No word as to whether the tape cut out before she added “Reorganize their linen closet.” In any case, she’s reportedly been swamped with suitors. As the New York Post reports, “More than 1,000 suitors requested to connect with the 71-year-old media mogul within hours of her profile being outed.” Wait, did Martha Stewart’s dating profile come out of the closet, too, or does the Post think Jason Collins just added himself to the internet?
The Post also reports that “Stewart enlisted her niece’s husband, Dan Slater, who wrote the book Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating, to sort through the eligible bachelors.” So if her date goes wrong, it’s the nephew-in-law’s fault!