Tag Archives: cars

Flying cars!? What’s next, flying pigs?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

CTV News is reporting that “A Massachusetts-based aerospace company says it is developing a user-friendly, affordable flying car that will allow ‘the rest of us’ to leave the asphalt and go airborne whenever the mood — or rush-hour traffic — strikes.”  As if Toronto Island residents—all five of them—weren’t already complaining about air-traffic congestion!  As per CTV, “the TF-X won’t require a runway to take off and land. And operating the vehicle ‘should be statistically safer than driving a modern automobile,’ Terrafugia says,” especially on the 401.

Terrafugia, the company behind this car of the future, hopes to have its TF-X prototype road-and-air-ready by the 2020s, stating “early studies indicate that it is possible that the final price point could be on-par with very high-end luxury cars of today.”  An earlier model, The Transition, is supposed to hit the market in two years with a $279K price tag, in case you’re wondering what to get your godfather for Christmas who owns three Lamborghinis. ;)

Who knows, maybe by the time TF-X is rolling off the assembly line, genetic engineering will have already added wings to our bacony friends—which would make them a lot harder to slaughter, I suppose.  But hey, if it allows a scientist to win an office bet, well, you never know…

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FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Embourgeoisé

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Embourgeoisé: Describes that which has adopted an upper-class lifestyle, and has changed its values and its ways to reflect this.

As seen in: « Six ans plus tard, la marque embourgeoisée de General Motors réitère l’expérience, en tant que vitrine, mais toujours sans avenir. »

(Translation: “Six years later, General Motors’ upper-class brand is redoing the experience [the launch of a concept car] as a preview, without any future [for the model].”

http://www.tf1.fr/auto-moto/actualite/salon-de-shanghai-2013-buick-riviera-concept-enfin-le-coupe-7933350.html

There’s a reason why Patrick Bateman always had a driver…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The National Post is reporting that “A survey of 3,000 male motorists conducted by British insurance company MORE TH>N reveals that in excess of 11% have made car insurance claims following a crash that occurred while they were admiring their reflections in the rearview mirror and/or using a grooming product.”  Pretty sure that’s known in the insurance business as an “at-fault accident.”  On the other hand, an additional 3 per cent were fortunate enough not to cause an insured loss despite admitting “they check out their appearance between five and 10 times during a typical 30-minute drive.”  But that number’s probably a lot higher if you’re a yuppie serial killer who works at Pierce & Pierce. ;)

Interestingly enough, 21 per cent of these so-called “Motorsexual Men”—which sorta sounds like a euphemism for premature ejaculators, doesn’t it?—drive a Ford; either a Focus or a Fiesta, to be precise.  The rest, I presume, own a Chevy Corvette.  As they say in Quebec, “Grosse Corvette, petite quéquette.”  (It loses something in translation…)

Drunk mother, drunk son…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Toronto Sun is reporting that a 56-year-old woman was charged with impaired driving after arriving at the South Simcoe police station in Innisfil, just north of Toronto, where she was going to bail out her son—who had just been arrested for the same offense.  According to the Sun, “at about 3:20 a.m., the man’s mother arrived to pick him up. While speaking to the arresting officer, he detected alcohol on her breath as well.”  Musta been a real family bender!

Her 27-year-old offspring had earlier been arrested for allegedly speeding up Yonge St north of the city.  Both family members reportedly failed the breathalyzer.  No word as to who earned dinner-table bragging rights by blowing the higher score, however.

The Toronto Sun is asking anyone who knows the accused to contact their City Desk at 416-947-2211 with some juicy gossip.  The craziest tale just might make the front page… ;)

MOVIES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE: The Blues Brothers (1980)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

They just don’t make ‘em like this anymore.  Arguably the greatest musical action dramady of all time (it’s definitely the best bluesical ever), this 1980 oeuvre featured an all-star cast with such luminaries as Cab Calloway, James Brown, John Lee Hooker, Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles, and an outstanding backing band including the likes of Steve Cropper and Donald “Duck” Dunn.  Oh yeah, and Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi were also in this picture, too.

Sure, this movie’s got plenty of blues, soul and R’nB, but there’s more to it than that.  Although some of the special effects look a little cheesy some 30+ years later (ie the Illinois Nazis’ falling car or when Belushi “sees the light”), the chase scenes and action sequences are simply timeless.  I mean, the producers actually found an abandoned shopping mall, restocked and refurbished it, only to drive two cop cruisers and the Bluesmobile through the stores, completely trashing the place.  And those cars in the mall parking lot?  All brand-new, straight off the lot.  (There’s a reason why they didn’t hit ‘em!)  Yeah, I might have watched the special features a couple times…

This movie also delivers its share of comedy, with the rambunctious physical humour of Belushi duking it out with Aykroyd’s dead-pan wit.  And who can forget the hilarious one-liners, from “One soiled” to the omnipresent “We’re on a mission from God” to my personal favourite, “We got both kinds; country and western.”  I once used a modified version of the latter to respond to a request for reggae on my radio show.  “Dude, I play both kinds of music; stoner and doom!” ;)

What with all the belly-laughs, high-speed hijinks and groovy tunes, one hardly notices this movie is nearly two and a half hours long.  In fact, The Blues Brothers‘ official run-time is some 20 minutes shorter than the theatrical version of Clint Eastwood’s epic The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.  Hey, I always did like Clint, but he never survived Bob’s Country Bunker…

HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE: One cannot help but be inspired by this uplifting tale.  Alas, when I put on my first major concert, I tried to hire a bunch of orphans to pass out flyers.  In 1980, that meant a packed house.  These days, it’s considered child abuse.  Oh, how the music business has changed!  Sadly, I do believe that Aretha’s the only one of the performing legends who’s still with us today.  (Aside from Dan Aykroyd, that is.)  Must be all those fried chickens… and a Coke. ;)

“Last one to the Timmy’s buys the doughnuts!”

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Calgary Police Service has found itself in hot coffee after an amateur videographer posted a video of two marked squad cars racing to Tim Horton’s in the Southeast neighbourhood of Douglasdale.  As the Calgary Herald reports, “When the light turns green, one vehicle peels away quickly. Both turn right into what viewers are told is a Tim Hortons. It’s unclear how fast they are driving, but the person shooting the video hits a top speed of 46 km/h before the video ends.”  Which isn’t breaking any speed limits, mind you…

CPS Inspector Ken Thrower doesn’t believe his colleagues were speeding, either. “I would be very doubtful that he broke the 50 km/h speed limit because you would have to be in a drag car to get that fast in that short a distance,” he told the Herald.  However, he still wants to get to the bottom of the case.  “If it was a citizen, we’d probably pull them over, I don’t know necessarily that we would give them a ticket, but we’d say, ‘what were you up to?’”

And, more importantly, did the loser buy Boston creams, or double chocolates?  Or maybe a box of Timbits?  The verdict is definitely still out on this one…

It’s amazing what U and a screwdriver can do: Professor politely vandalizes vehicles

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In a scene straight out of Monty Python, an English university professor has pleaded guilty to taking a screwdriver to several luxury automobiles, scrawling messages such as “very silly”, “really wrong” and “arbitrary” on his upscale neighbours’ rides.  No word as to whether he was dressed as a lumberjack while committing these acts, or if he silly-walked away from the scene of the crime—he apparently can’t remember anything that happened that evening.

According to the BBC, Stephen Graham “has previously blamed a bad reaction to alcohol, antibiotics and prescription drugs for his behaviour.”  Those antibiotics sure drive you batty, don’t they?  Of course, he probably could’ve just blamed it on the alcohol, but it appears he’s trying to hedge his bets.  No word as to what he had a prescription for, either.  I suppose he’ll claim that Viagra caused him to make such bone-headed decisions?

Then again, the Daily Mail notes that Graham “is a specialist in urban life at Newcastle University.”  Not too familiar with that field of study, but it could perhaps it be argued that his actions constituted academic research.  In any case, the nutty professor reportedly caused £18,000 in damages to some 24 vehicles.  There goes his grant money…

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Tamponner

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Tamponner: To strike violently, to latch on or crash into something.  Also, to plug a hole.

As seen in: « Pendant environ une heure, plusieurs voitures et camions se sont tamponnés, et plusieurs sorties de route ont été enregistrées. »

(Translation: “Over the course of an hour, several cars and trucks crashed into each other, and several others went off the road.”)

http://fr.canoe.ca/infos/societe/archives/2013/01/20130115-114039.html

Do you want a breathalyzer with that case of Old Style Pilsner?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Not only does Saskatchewan have the highest rate of drunk driving in the country, according to Statistics Canada, it blows the rest of us away.  As CTV News reports, “In 2011, the province had 683 incidents per 100,000 people – which is more than doubled (sic) the national average.”  That’s right, folks.  For every beer you’ve drunken, a Saskie has had two—before getting behind the wheel of his tractor…

“I’d like to think attitudes have changed, and in fact I’m sure they have,” Saskatoon Staff Sergeant Grant Obst told CTV, adding that his city’s youngsters are aware that consequences will never be the same.  Mind you, if they really wanted to crack down on drunk driving, they could remove repeat offenders from the Riders’ season’s ticket list, or fit them with an ankle bracelet that goes off whenever its wearer attempts to make a hat out of a box of Pilsner.

On that note, Ontario doesn’t drink and drive nearly as much as Saskatchewan, with Ottawa and Toronto reporting the lowest rates in the country.  It’s also worth noting that you can’t buy Old Style Pilsner, that evil elixir, anywhere in this province.  Coincidence?  I think not!

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Camion-benne

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Camion-benne: A truck with an adjustable cargo-bed that allows it to carry large loads, ie a dump truck.

As seen in: « Une femme âgée est morte après avoir été heurtée par un camion-benne transportant de la neige, à Lévis, dans Chaudière-Appalaches, mardi matin. »

(Translation: “An old lady is dead after being struck by a dump truck carrying snow in Lévis, Chaudière-Appalaches region, Tuesday morning.”)

http://fr.canoe.ca/infos/societe/archives/2013/01/20130108-081944.html