Tag Archives: Canadian politics

Could this finally be the final nail in Rob Anders’ political career? I’m heading to Rona, just in case…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Slow news day on Parliament Hill?  If you’re a political website like iPolitics.ca, you can always turn to a fool-proof (or perhaps I should say fool-baiting) method to get a scoop: take Rob Anders to lunch.  The eight-term Calgary West representative, who I had the misfortune of calling my MP for eight years before I left Cowtown, is perhaps more recently known for dozing off in the House of Commons, but that’s not to say he isn’t able to run his mouth when given a platform for his ideas.  After 15 years in office, the self-proclaimed “one of the more conservative members of Parliament who ever sat” was perhaps best known for being the lone member of the House to vote against making Nelson Mandela an honorary Canadian citizen back in 2001—and calling the former South African leader a communist and a terrorist in the process.  Thus, if you’re looking to shatter your website’s record for single-day visits, a chat with Anders oughtta do the trick.

On that note, credit must go to iPolitics writer Laura Stone (and her editors) for not burying the lead.  Though I doubt her conversation with Sleepy McDoofus began on the topic of Jack Layton, her piece published this morning certainly does.  More specifically, Anders’ latest goofball theory is that Thomas Mulcair was the man who twisted the knife in Layton’s back.  In one of the most astoundingly face-palming run-on sentences I’ve read in a while, he tells iPolitics, “It was very clear to me watching the two of those gentlemen in the front benches, that Jack Layton was ill and that Mr. Mulcair was making it quite obvious that if Jack wasn’t well enough to fight the campaign and fight the election that he should step aside, and that because of that, Mr. Layton put his life at risk to go into the national election, and fight it, and did obviously an amazing job considering his state of health, and that he did that partly because of the arm-twisting behind the scenes by Mulcair and then subsequently died.”

Suffice to say, this shot was heard around the world—or at least across the country.  Even the National Post is succinctly suggesting that he (finally) be removed from caucus, with NP columnist Jonathan Kay being much more direct on Twitter, tweeting “Someone explain to me why Rob Anders is still, as of 9am today, still in the Conservative caucus. Canada’s Todd Akin.”  Well, as I’ve said before on this blog, at least one former Calgary West Conservative happens to be of the opinion that Anders is in possession of photographs of Stephen Harper doin’ the nasty with a longhorn steer, or some other equally-incriminating evidence against Our Fearless Leader (who preceded Anders as Calgary West MP before he stepped away from politics for a country minute in ‘97).  Otherwise, we can’t really explain why he’s still around either.

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FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Bouder

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Bouder: To ignore, to shun, to reject someone.

As seen in: « Que l’on applaudisse ou que l’on dénonce la décision du premier ministre canadien de bouder les Nations unies, les observateurs internationaux s’entendent sur une chose : le silence de Stephen Harper en dit beaucoup. »

(Translation: “Whether they applaud or they denounce the decision of the Canadian prime minister to shun the United Nations, international observers agree on one thing: Stephen Harper’s silence speaks volumes.”)

http://www.radio-canada.ca/nouvelles/Politique/2012/09/27/009-stephen-harper-onu.shtml

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Zombie Commies, Justin Trudeau’s key demographic!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.torontosun.com/2012/09/26/justin-trudeau-to-announce-liberal-leadership-bid-next-week-report

Suffice to say, Toronto Sun readers aren’t too thrilled about Justin Trudeau running for the Liberal Party leadership, but this might be taking it a little too far:

 

Could Trudeau’s Legion of the Undead feast on Harper in 2015?  Stay tuned…

Where to drink in Ottawa if you want to become an MP’s “babysitter”

Posted by gruesomegreg on

If you drink Keith’s or 50, chances are you’re an NDP supporter, whereas Liberals gravitate more towards Heineken, according to the National Post’s parliamentary drinking guide.  According to the Post, the Conservative party prefers the upscale Métropolitain Brasserie and and Sir John A. Pub, while the NDP hangs out at Brixton’s Pub so often that they invite its bartender to their Christmas parties.  Meanwhile, the Liberals once staged a takedown of D’Arcy McGees Irish Pub, where it’s not uncommon for parliamentary pages to get hit on by MPs.  “The page program can’t control you at 11 p.m. if you decide to hit D’Arcy McGee’s and get chatted up by an MP,” former page Sarah Govan told Postmedia in 2006.  Wait, aren’t pages college and university students—and most MPs in their 50s?  Creepy!

While the Post lists several downtown hotspots, including Bar La Zone in Gatineau, where the Bloc Quebecois drowned their sorrows after being reduced to rump status in the last election, it makes no mention of Oliver’s Pub, the Carleton campus bar which the NDP’s Deputy Agriculture Critic assistant-managed before being elected.  I guess she no longer gets the employee discount?

And while most Conservatives, from Fearless Leader Stephen Harper to past Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, seem to lay off the sauce, such was not the case for the original Tory leader, whose namesake pub some of them occasionally visit.  As per the Post, “Sir John A. Macdonald, of course, was renowned for his drinking. He vomited during campaign speeches, downed tumblers of gin during parliamentary debates and drunkenly lit his London, England hotel room on fire while hashing out the final terms of British North America.”  And yet, he was never known to pass out in parliament.  Rob Anders, on the other hand…

Something tells me Pat Martin won’t be getting a Karen Klein-sized cheque from his Legal Defence Fund anytime soon…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

On a day when bullied bus monitor Karen Klein headed up to Toronto to pick up a cheque for $700K, another website has been set up seeking donations to help someone who’s in a bit of a pickle.  Only this time, one could argue that the funds raised would go towards a bully, not a bullying victim—namely NDP attack dog Pat Martin.

The member for Winnipeg Centre has certainly been known to speak his mind, and to spare no profanity in the process.  Last November, he responded to a government motion to limit debate on the federal budget by tweeting “This is a fucking disgrace…closure again. And on the Budget! There’s not a democracy in the world that would tolerate this jackboot shit.”  But while that tweet went viral, along with his responses to a couple Conservatives on his feed, it’s the comments he made a couple months later that have landed him in hot water—staring down a five-million-dollar lawsuit, as per the National Post. 

According to the letter of apology that remains posted on his website, “I singled out a private individual, Mr. Matt Meier along with his business RackNine Inc. and I wrongfully accused them of being part of a conspiracy to commit electoral fraud.” The letter also states that he repeated the accusation many times to the media, and eventually gets around to apologizing in the seventh paragraph.  But that wasn’t good enough for Meier, who notes that the apology wasn’t made until seven weeks after the repeated accusations—and he won’t agree to an out-of-court settlement, either.

Fortunately, you can help (Martin, that is)!  The Pat Martin Legal Defence Fund is seeking to raise 250-grand, noting that “In the event any surplus money raised it will be donated in equal parts to the Children’s Wish Foundation and the Canadian Museum for Human Rights.”  Unfortunately, as the webpage points out, any donations are NOT tax-deductable.  Gee, I could understand the need to raise funds if, say, a 68-year-old making 15-grand a year was suddenly hit with a multi-million-dollar lawsuit, but keep in mind that Martin makes more than 10 times that amount—and, as I’m sure the Toronto Sun has already pointed out by now, he’s paid with taxpayers’ dollars.  Something tells me he won’t raise any surplus money, to say the least…

Betcha this Calgary Conservative has seen a steady increase in traffic the last couple days…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In case you missed it, Jon Lord, the legendary keyboardist for Deep Purple, passed away yesterday.  The 71-year-old was a vital organ in the Purple ensemble, having pioneered the use of the Hammond in rock music.  But when you Google his name, right beneath his Wikipedia page and official website, jonlord.org, is another official domain name, jonlord.ca–only this one has nothing to do with Deep Purple.

As it turns out, the Canadian Jon Lord is a Calgary businessman and politican looking to win the Conservative nomination for Calgary Centre after Lee Richardson stepped down.  A former alderman and MLA, he also failed in his bid to become mayor–finishing in a distant sixth place with just 0.4 per cent of the vote, and also failed to secure his riding’s nomination in the last provincial election, which was won by the eventual PC Candidate, Christine Cusanelli.  But that’s not to say he’s a complete failure.  According to his bio (scroll down for it), he’s a “long-term member” of MENSA, that organization for people with genius-level IQs, a provincial judo silver-medalist who’s “also studied street-fighting and knife and sword techniques” and the long-time owner of Casablanca Video in Marda Loop.  He also looks awfully cute and cuddly in a cowboy hat:

“Vote for me, or the puppy gets it!”

That said, for all his accomplishments, web design is definitely not his forte.  His, ugly, primitive Web 1.0 site features a distracting dissected picture of the Calgary sideline split by a grey background with a variety of text shapes and sizes (I’m pretty sure he uses Comic Sans for some quotes, even!), not to mention a logo that looks like it’s straight from 1972.  The pages are far too content heavy, and if you actually bother to scroll through all that text, you’ll find that while the initial paragraphs mention Calgary Centre, he talks about an awful lot that isn’t federal jurisdiction in his mission statement, and still mentions how he’d be a great candidate for mayor.  Guess even he couldn’t go through all that text to make the updates!

Mind you, if he hasn’t put any effort into jazzing up his site, it may be because he’s not considered a top candidate for the nomination.  This iPolitics article, which actually quotes Lord quite, erm, liberally, suggests that it could be a two-horse race between ex-journalist Joan Crockatt and current alderman John Mar–though I’m sure Lord’s campaign might’ve gotten a small boost from all those Deep Purple fans curious about the Canadian site with all the Calgary-related keywords. ;)

Tony Clement cavorting with commies? Oh noes!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Does moving to Cuba automatically make you a communist?  Maybe not, but moving to a communist country won’t put you in Tony Clement’s good books—unless you did so in the 1930’s.  As the National Post reports, the Minister of Fake Lakes criticized a Globe and Mail editor who was moving to Castro country, where his wife works for an NGO or something.  He interrupted his Twitter tirade, however, to cut the red ribbon on a new visitor’s centre at the Norman Bethune Memorial House, named for that great Canadian hero who saved many lives—in Communist China under Mao.

“My point was to celebrate things other than his communism. You chose to live in a communist country. Big difference,” Clement tweeted.  Then again, Bethune also chose to live in a communist country, but I guess that didn’t make him a bad guy.  The Sun News Network remains unequivocal, however.  “Today @tonyclementCPC gave $2.5 million of your tax dollars to honour Mao apologist Bethune. Mao killed over 60 million.”  I don’t think Bethune had a hand in any of those deaths, but I digress…

For once, I actually agree with Stephen Harper on something…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

So, it seems that our PM is catching some flak for stating what all Calgarians already know: Calgary is the greatest city in the greatest country in the world.  His statement at the Stampede yesterday has drawn the ire of anti-Alberta NDP leader Tom Mulcair, who whined “‘I’m better than you’ is not the best way to get results.”  But it’s easy to understand Mulcair’s discontent, as his native Montreal is way down there on MoneySense’s list of best places to live.  Calgary, on the other hand, is leading the completely-scientific survey on this page with a whopping 64 per cent of the vote.  Sure, some other studies have said some other Canadian cities are slightly better than Calgary, but as our PM would put it, that’s simply not true.  In fact, I have already written at some length on this topic.

Here’s why Calgary is better than Toronto.

Here’s why Calgary is better than Edmonton.

So, how come I don’t live in Calgary anymore?  Well, let’s just say there are more opportunities for a bilingual person with a creative background to make more money in the financial industry in Toronto—whereas in Calgary, the demand for bilingual professionals is roughly equivalent to the provincial sales tax (Alberta has no PST, in case you didn’t get the hint).  And did I mention that this was the first time I’ve agreed with the Supreme Leader of the Conservative Capital of Canada?  Had I stayed, my MP for life (his life, hopefully, not mine) would be Rob Anders, who’ll hold his seat in parliament until he decides it’s time to start collecting his pension.  I would’ve made a crack about ascending to the Senate, but then again, Alberta actually elects its senators, and I can’t imagine anyone actually voting for the guy… except for the residents of Northwest Calgary, who’ll elect any buffoon decked out in Tory blue.  Erm, waitaminute.  Is it too soon to start Anders’ Senate campaign?

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Well, she does turn 69 next year…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.torontosun.com/2012/07/04/feds-wont-ok-foreign-temps-from-working-as-strippers

Human Resources Minister Diane Finley announced today that the government will no longer allow temporary foreign sex-trade workers into the country, effective July 14th.  You know who announced yesterday that she’ll be retiring from political office two weeks later?  Bev Oda.  Think these two announcements have nothing to do with each other?  Think again…

Betcha can’t get that disturbing picture outta yer head, eh?  Alas, even if the Conservatives are raising the retirement age to 67, it doesn’t mean strippers should still be working up to that age, whether they’re former Ministers for International Cooperation or otherwise.

Top 10 Reasons Why Senator Patrick Brazeau Takes Time Off Work

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Senator Patrick Brazeau, the long-haired judoka who lost a charity boxing match to Justin Trudeau, is the most absent member of the Upper Chamber, having missed 25 per cent of the 72 sittings between last June and April of this year, according to the National Post.  When Canadian Press reporter Jennifer Ditchburn pointed this out in a piece published yesterday, he took to the Twitter ring to express his anger, tweeting “Change the D to a B in your last name and we’re even!”

But even after apologizing for his unprofessional remark, Brazeau still won’t reveal what “personal issues” caused him to take every fourth day off work.  “If it were elaboration on his professional career or positions, he would be glad to do so. But he will not on the personal side of things,” Brazeau’s executive assistant told the Post today.  Which certainly leaves room for speculation.  Here are 10 potential reasons why Senator Brazeau takes so much time off work:

10. Do you know how hard it is to maintain that flowing mane?

9. The UFC has yet to hold an event anywhere near Ottawa

8. As the youngest member of the Senate, he has no one to set an example for

7. He kills everything he eats with his bare hands.  Good luck finding live game in Ottawa!

6. His attempts to clone himself has been thus far unsuccessful

5. He is the sole caregiver for both his left and right biceps

4. He makes more money in his side gig as a roadie for Nickelback

3. His conscience prevents him from voting on bills he disagrees with, yet he’s not allowed to cross the party line

2. Because he can.  Whatcha gonna do about it?

1. Training for the rematch.  There’s no f—king way he’s losing to Trudeau again!