Tag Archives: Calgary Flames

Nope, still not a Leafs fan…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

On Friday, I was telling anyone who’d listen that the Leafs-Bruins series would end that night.  Of course, I was wrong.  Though the Leafs barely hung on in the third period, they still managed to hold off the Bruins to extend the series.  And while neither side brought their A game in Game 6, the Leafs were definitely the better team.  So they came back from 3-1 down to force Game 7.  Congrats.  But you’re not gonna see me out there freezing my balls off in Maple Leaf Square or anything.

The fact of the matter is that I’m just not a Leafs fan.  I couldn’t possibly stand around outside surrounded by Blue and White with those guys holding up replica Cups without resisting the urge to chant “19-67!  19-67!” in a highly non-complimentary fashion.  And I’d probably be the only one cheering after that epic collapse from up 4-1 in the third period to losing in OT.  Well, maybe not cheering, but certainly not in break stuff mode, anyways.

Of course, as a Flames fan, I haven’t had a team to cheer for in the playoffs in a little while.  And while I can kinda relate to the way the Leafs played in Game 5–score two goals and hold on for dear life is classic Calgary Flames hockey–I can’t say they’ve won me over with tonight’s epic collapse.  This is the first time the Leafs have even made the playoffs since I’ve been living here, and I moved to Toronto in 2005.  Considering that I’m a Flames fan first and foremost from October until early April, a team with such a track record of post-lockout postseason non-participation is not going to earn my support.  Even if I live here.  But hey, maybe if they make it past the second round, one of these decades…

Mind you, I’ll be joining Leafs fans in cheering against Ottawa in Round 2.  Not that I have anything against the Sens, or the nation’s capital–hell, my folks live 10 minutes from the rink–but I’m wearing my brand-new Iginla jersey in support of the greatest black hockey player of all time.  (PK Subban?  Come talk to me in 10 years!)  Iggy’s on a mission from the hockey gods to take home the Cup, which is precisely why he vetoed that trade with Boston.  Cuz clearly, the Bruins aren’t going all the way this year.  I mean, they can’t possibly expect to play that poorly for the better part of three games and escape with a series win against any team that’s won the Cup since 1967. ;)

About these ads

Somewhere in St. Louis, Darryl Sutter sheds a single tear…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Calgary Herald is reporting that “Hockey Alberta has decided to ban body checking at the Peewee level beginning next season.”  As of next year, all Alberta boys under the age of 13 will be penalized for throwing their weight around.  Methinks a certain ex-Calgary coach/GM can’t be too pleased with this announcement.

As the Flames’ general manager, Sutter stocked the club with rough-and-tumble Alberta-born players who couldn’t score to save their lives (case in point: Jay Bouwmeester), but weren’t afraid to lay out a big hit (OK, Bouwmeester might be a bad example here).  Despite a complete and utter lack of success in between, Sutter’s style of play led the team to a Cup appearance in ’04, and found further success last year with the more Euro-centric L.A. Kings, setting up a crucial conversation between Sutter and Obama on the future of the Keystone XL pipeline (which reportedly didn’t happen).  But while Barack might not have been willing to listen to the former Flames coach, perhaps Hockey Alberta might be more receptive to the second-last man to lead one of its teams to a Stanley Cup final?

Then again, as a noted concussion specialist told the Herald, “Recent evidence suggests removing body checking at the Peewee level will reduce players’ risk of concussions and injuries overall by more than three-fold.”  Hmm, perhaps if these rules were in place back in Darryl’s day, he might still be able to string a coherent sentence together…

I just bought a new Iginla jersey today…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

001

Well, it’s new to me, anyways.  I got a hot tip that vintage Iggy jerseys were half off at the Hockey Hall of Fame: 100 bucks plus HST.  And since the last Flames jersey I bought was Dion Phaneuf’s, a couple months before they traded him to Toronto, I figured it was time to update my look.  Cuz while my Phaneuf jersey gets me heckled at the ACC, an old-school Iginla sweater certainly commands respect.  Funny thing, I could’ve bought his jersey on Fan Appreciation Night 2000, but I opted for Marc Savard instead.  So this time, I’m buying a Flames sweater after they traded its wearer, not before.  Uh, I guess that’s progress?

That being said, I am definitely cheering for Pittsburgh in the playoffs this year.  Since the Pitt-NYI series coincides with the Habs and Sens, I’ve been flipping back and forth at stoppages and commercial breaks.  I hafta say the former has been much more fun to watch–full-line brawl in Ottawa notwithstanding.  Iggy’s been looking good on a line with Sid the Kid, and I hope he helps ‘em win the Cup this year, to make up for the one he was cheated out of in ’04.  (Don’t even get me started…)

Of course, it’ll be bittersweet seeing him raise the Cup in another team’s sweater.  Let’s just say I won’t put it on my mantle next to my Lanny McDonald photo.  But it’s not like I’ve been able to cheer for the Flames in the postseason this decade, so I’ll still be happy for him.  And on that note, I might be adding an (insert number-one pick) jersey to my collection in a couple months.  Here’s hoping Calgary’s highest draft selection since Dion Phaneuf will be their best first-round pick since Phaneuf…  and that he doesn’t join Dion on the Leafs anytime soon. :(

GOLF FLAMES GOLF!!!

And this little Kipper stayed home!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

For a while, it looked like he was headed to Toronto–as indicated by his play the other night (which prompted my most retweeted tweet ever)–but in the end, Miikka Kiprusoff will retire as a Calgary Flame, perhaps as early as next month.  The Leafs proved to be a rather aggressive suitor, as the franchise, which hasn’t made the playoffs since the ’04-’05 lockout, was understandably lacking a goalie with postseason experience.  But it seems that Kipper nixed any potential trade to Toronto in much the same fashion as Jarome Iginla broke Boston’s hearts about a week ago, preventing any possibility of him recreating this classic photo with Dion Phaneuf:

See, Kipper’s a classy guy.  He even wears a suit to the strip club!  Dion’s dressed in a tie-dye t-shirt, but hey, he was only 22 at the time…

Now, unfortunately for the Buds, they’ll be stuck with James Reimer and Ben Scrivens between the pipes.  They also couldn’t absorb Roberto Luongo’s cap hit, as the overpriced Vancouver backup reportedly told The Canadian Press, “My contract sucks.  Unfortunately, it’s a big factor in trading me, and it’s probably why I’m still here.  I’d scrap it if I could, right now.”  Suuure, you would just walk away from $6.7-million a year until 2018?  If so, I’ve got a chain of racist BBQ joints in Hamilton you might like to invest in…

But unfortunately for the Flames, they’ll be stuck with Kipper this season.  Don’t get me wrong, he was a great goalie, perhaps the best in franchise history, up until last year.  But since the latest lockout, he’s seemed disinterested and looked out of shape, getting hurt early and never getting back into the swing of things upon his return.  His season stats (6-10-2, 3.64 GAA and .868 save percentage) are simply shitterrific, amongst the worst in the league.  For the past few seasons, Saint Miikka almost single-handedly kept the team in playoff contention, but this year, he’s almost individually assuring us of the second-overall pick (cuz we all know Edmonton’s rigging the draft lottery until they get a new rink).  So, if he does decide to take his $5.83-million cap hit off the books next season (in which he’d earn a paltry 1.5 mil–Luongo 2020 numbers!), I shan’t be too sad to see him go.  It’s just somewhat unfortunate that he couldn’t end his career on a high note.  Then again, I suppose it couldda been worse–he could’ve retired as a Maple Leaf!  (Hell, I probably would’ve vetoed that trade too, and I actually live in Toronto now!)

Of course, between the Iggy trade and the Kipper non-trade, the Flames weren’t too active at the deadline, simply shipping Blake Comeau to Columbus for a fifth-round pick.  Guess I’ll be cheering for Columbus in the playoffs now, too; after adding Marian Gaborik, they could probably grab the eight-spot, which, unfortunately, would not allow them to oust Vancouver this season.  (Mind you, the Nucks seem poised to play L.A. again… :D )  But lest we forget, the Flames also picked up another first-round pick by dealing Jay “The Iron Pylon” Bouwmeester to St. Louis for a conditional (on the Blues making the playoffs) draft choice, along with a pair of prospects, one of whom actually plays goal.  Let’s just say that Flames fans will miss the league’s worst defenceman the way an uninsured American would miss a $6.6-million medical bill.  We’re also looking forward to seeing Reto Barra between the pipes next season, he of the 3.01 GAA and .906 save % in the Swiss Cheese Elite League, where most goalies have holes.  In a poll on the Flames official website, the 26-year-old backstop leads the other three recently-acquired prospects as the most highly-anticipated player, with nearly 35 per cent of the vote.

Hey, he’s probably better than Ben Scrivens…

Farewell, my sweet prince…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Last night, I went to bed knowing that Jarome Iginla would be a Boston Bruin when I woke up.  It was pretty much a done deal, with TSN announcing the names of the two prospects, since forgotten, that Boston would be sending Calgary’s way, as well as a conditional first-round pick—if he re-signed with the club in the off-season.  Suffice to say I was somewhat surprised to see a picture of Captain Calgary affixed beneath a Pittsburgh Penguins logo when I walked past a TV screen a couple hours ago.  It turns out the Pens’ first-round pick wasn’t conditional, so I suppose that sweetened the pot.

But there are definitely some mixed feelings after the face of the Flames franchise fled town before free-agency.  Of course, it had become quite obvious that the team would need to trade him in order to get something in return, rather than risk re-signing a soon-to-be 36-year-old.  And just as dealing Joe Nieuwendyk to Dallas netted Iggy in the first place, the hope is that either Kenneth Agostino or Ben Hanowski, a pair of US college boys, will provide the same scoring punch.  Cuz you know that first-round pick is gonna be squandered.  Who’s the last Flames first-rounder to make a big impact?  Probably Dion Phaneuf.  Where does he play now?  I don’t wanna talk about it… :(

Still, it might be a stretch to say that Agostino (37 points in 32 games for Yale) or Hanowski (29 points in 34 games for St. Cloud State) will be able to almost single-handedly carry the team for 15 seasons the way that Iginla has.  If nothing else, it makes me cringe that Calgary’s next top-scorer could possibly be American.  Here’s hoping neither player happens to pay a visit to his alma matter on “Bring a Gun to School Day” or anything…  OK, I must digress.  But suffice to say that the NHL is a huge step up from the NCAA, and these two were fifth- and third-round picks, respectively.  Now, if they had been picked in the middle rounds by the Red Wings, I might have more confidence in them, but the Pens built their franchise with first and second-overall picks (I don’t really need to name them, do I?), not in the late rounds of the draft.

And you can’t expect some college boy to replace the World’s Greatest Edmontonian, who took the torch from the flailing hands of Theo Fleury and tallied no fewer than 28 goals a season from 1998 onwards.  This is a guy who, despite not having an offensively gifted centreman since Marc Savard was shipped to Atlanta for an oversized Russian pylon who preferred to divert traffic in Magnitogorsk, won the Art Ross, the Lester B. Pearson and the Rocket Richard trophy, the latter on two separate occasion.  With just a little help from Martin Gelinas and Miikka Kiprusoff, my favourite black person on the face of the earth (Ice Muthafuckin’ T is number two with a bullet) nearly brought home the Cup in ’04, and man, I would’ve driven up to Edmonton just to see him parade it around his old neighbourhood in his flaming C.  (But alas, twas not to be.  Don’t get me started on “Hockey Bay USA,” either…)

As a matter of fact, last night I cried tears I hadn’t cried since Theo Fleury became an Avalanche, Bret Hart got screwed at Survivor Series, or Doug Flutie was sold to Toronto, of all places.  So this is farewell, my sweet Afro-Canadian prince.  Check Phaneuf into the boards for me, eh? ;)

Mr. T probably wouldda scored on Kipper, too!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

While Miikka Outtashaprusoff did allow a couple soft goals to the Blackhawks in last night’s game, by far the most impressive tally at the United Center that evening came in between periods, when noted thespian Mr. T launched a puck through the net… from centre-ice!  (Somewhere around the 1:30 mark below.)

As the legendary actor told a sideline reporter before the second-period shootout, he only had one prediction: “PAIN. I pity that puck. I pity it!”  But not enough to avoid firing it through the net from the red line.  That said, it would appear he actually pitied the first two pucks, as it took him three shots to beat the canvas cut-out.

Of course, since T’s prior attempts, as well as those of a woman in stiletto heels, all missed the net, the Coke Zero illustration finished the evening with a lower save percentage than the veteran Calgary netminder—and just three other NHL goalies with more than three appearances this season. ;)

Well, if the Flames get waxed by the Wild this weekend, I’ll be wasted on wine coolers…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In the early days of this blog, a couple years back, I revealed the secrets to my CFL drinking game.  Now, us Alberta-bred Calgarians aren’t sophisticated folk–we don’t normally drink any of these fancy liqueurs.  So the CFL drinking game is pretty simple.  There are seven brands of beer, one associated with each CFL team, and when that team scores a touchdown against the Stamps, I consume a bottle of said associated beverage.  It makes a little more sense if you click on the link in the first sentence. ;)

I have tried to bring this drinking game over to the NHL, but with some 30 opposing teams, many of them based in states that don’t import their beer to Canada, associating booze with NHL franchises can prove to be difficult.  Of course, there are some no-brainers.  When Calgary plays Vancouver, I always have some Crazy Canuck in the cooler.  Likewise, I always stock up on Staropramen when Dallas is in town.

Some other associations aren’t quite as obvious.  For one thing, I’ve matched up Corona with the L.A. Kings–not because La-la land is full of Mexicans, but because Kings wear crowns, and Corona is crown in Spanish.  Meanwhile, I’ve had a hard time deciding which red beer to drink when Detroit scores on Calgary, but I think I’ve settled on Red Stripe.  Hey, Detroit’s population is 82 per cent black, so a Jamaican beer seemed appropriate.  Plus, I hear there’s lotsa violence in inner-city Jamaica…

That being said, I’ve had a hard time matching up a beer with the Minnesota Wild.  You’d think there’d be lotsa beers with “Wild” in their name–but they don’t sell any of them at The Beer Store.  You know what they do sell at the privatized half of Ontario’s liquor duopoly, though?  Poppers Wild Ice!  The Beer Store describes it as “a flavoured malt beverage with a blue fluorescent colour” boasting “a clean, crisp, pleasant after taste with a hint of berries”–aaaaand seven per cent alcohol.  It’s a good thing Minny only scores 2.2 goals per game…

GLUG FLAMES GLUG, GLUG GLUG…

Well, so much for that winning streak…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

As previously stated, I’ve made a point of paying less attention to the Flames this season.  Sure, the fact that they’re tied for last in the West right now (a four-way tie, mind you) might have something to do with it–but unless they did the unthinkable and made the playoffs, I was not going to be scrambling to get back on the bandwagon, anyhoo.

That said, what with the team traveling to the Eastern Timezone last week, I was able to tune in for their games against Detroit and Columbus at a reasonable hour.  And I’ll be damned if they didn’t look pretty decent in the D, dropping Detroit 4-1 before coming back for an OT winner in Columbus.  But just when things were starting to turn the corner…

DOWN GOES MIIKKAAAA!!!

Hey, so the guy’s 36, and his lack of activity during the lockout likely didn’t help–he was off to a pretty shaky start to begin with.  But if the Flames were even in the playoff hunt these past few seasons, it was largely due to King Kipper standing on his crown on a nightly basis.  Without him, they’ll feel like they have been hit by a fuck.  I mean, Leland Irving has not looked like an NHL-caliber goalie these past couple games, although you can’t really blame him for the loss in Vancouver.  The Flames didn’t much look like an NHL-caliber team in that one.

Soooo, now they’re hosting Minnesota with the hopes that a win will put them within one point of the 11th-place Wild.  Incidentally, Minny is one of two teams without a road win thus far this season–the other being the Washington Capitals, the only team in the league with fewer points than Calgary.  Then again, the Flames are a less-than-scintillating 1-3-1 at home…

Hmm, it’s not too soon for them to Stop Winnin’ for MacKinnon, is it?

The Flames have three chances to win me over on Hockey Night in Canada… Uh, don’t blow it?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

True to my vow to not watch as much hockey this year, I’ve only caught one of the Flames’ three season-opening losses–and I very nearly shut ‘er off when they got down 3-0 to Anaheim early in the first period.  An optimist might say they’re on an upward swing; improving from a 4-1 shellacking by the Sharks to a 5-4 failed comeback against the Ducks to a 3-2 shootout setback to Vancouver.  But let’s face it, all that amounts to nothing but a single point in the standings, where they’re currently tied for last place.  Of course, none of those games were broadcast on cable TV in Toronto.  The only one I watched was via a *cough*illegal*cough* streaming website.  But these next three weekends, I can simply tune the dial to the good ol’ CBC to catch Calgary in action.

Tonight, the Flames play host to Deadmonton in the first installment of the abbreviated Battle of Alberta.  The two teams meet just four times this year, and three of those are in April.  Which means that by the next time I lay eyes on Nail Yakupov, he’ll have perfected his Theo Fleury impression.  Unfortunately, some people say this is the year the Losers finally overtake the Flames in the standings, which hasn’t happened in a decade.  That may be so, but gimme Svper Sven Baertschi over some Russian showboat, any day!  Flames 3, Oilers 2 (shootout).

Next Saturday, the Flames host a Chicago Blackhawks team that’s won its first four games–three of which were on the road.  Granted, those road victories all came in the Sun Belt: Dallas, Phoenix and Los Angeles, to be precise.  But the Hawks did hand the Kings a deflating 5-2 setback on the day they raised the banner in La-La Land.  Then again, they’ll be coming into Calgary on the second night of a back-to-back, and their third road game in four nights as they get set for another West Coast swing.  The Blackhawks backup, in case you were wondering, is Ray Emery, and he gave up four goals in Phoenix in his first appearance of the season.  Fortunately, his teammates scored six–but they weren’t shooting at Kiprusoff.  Flames 5, Hawks 4.

Two weeks from tonight, Calgary travels to Vancouver to avenge last Wednesday’s shootout loss.  Despite giving up two early second-period goals, Calgary controlled the tempo for the remaining 35 minutes, evening the score and controlling the balance of play.  Of course, I didn’t see the game, but Alex Tanguay said so himself.  “In the third period and overtime, we carried the play for the most part,” Tanguay said.  If the Nucks have got off to a shaky start (2-1-1), it’s partly due to the shaky play of Cory Schneider–though, to be fair, he did blank the Ducks last night.  That said, it remains to be seen if he can be the man for a full season.  Flames 4, Nucks 1.

(Suffice to say Luongo will be a Leaf by the time Vancouver and Calgary meet again.  They’re already planning the parade route down Bay Street as I type this. :P )

2013 could be the year that Edmonton finishes ahead of Calgary in the NHL standings. Maybe the Mayans were on to something…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

What’s worse than a season without NHL hockey?  One in which the Deadmonton Losers finish ahead of the Calgary Flames!  The Calgary Herald notes that this hasn’t actually happened since 2002-03.  As Herald sportswriter George Johnson reminisces, “Ales Hemsky was an apple-cheeked rookie, the ever-quotable MacT was behind the bench and the building just off Wayne Gretzky Drive still went by Skyreach Centre.”  Meanwhile, Miikka Kiprusoff was still in San Jose, and the Flames had only ever been coached by one Sutter, the less-than-lively Brian.  At the time, Calgary was in the midst of an extended playoff drought that ended the following year, when Kipper and (Darryl) Sutter joined the fold.  Since then, Calgary beating Edmonton became about as predictable as a fight Friday night on Whyte Ave.  (Gimme the Red Mile any day!)

But unfortunately for Flames fans, all that sucking leads to a happy ending, and the Oilers amassed not one, not two but three consecutive first-overall draft picks.  (Methinks they didn’t just suck in the standings to accomplish this, heh heh.)  With a slew of young superstars, Edmonton has become the new darlings of TSN, while Calgary is lucky to be shown on Hockey Night in Canada when they’re not playing another Canadian team.  As Johnson puts it, “the Oilers, out of blind luck more than astute planning, were stockpiling more diamonds than you’ll find in the most potent of Botswanan mines in South Africa.”  And now, those diamonds not-so-in-the-rough are starting to sparkle and shine.  One bozo from Sports Illustrated even placed the Oil third overall in his preseason power rankings.  The Flames, meanwhile, were 24th.

“Calgary is universally regarded as the group caught in the arthritic throes of decline, only now in the early stages of trying to reinvent itself,” Johnson laments.  Certainly, he is not alone in his views.  As the Oilers and Flames do battle, on HNIC, this Saturday, it’s looking like things could get ugly—for Calgary.  As if losing the first of many shootouts on the season to Vancouver the other night wasn’t bad enough… :(