Tag Archives: burger joint

I survived the Heart Attack Grill!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

What visit to Las Vegas would be complete without a visit to the gut-busting grill whose spokesmen are dropping left, right and centre?  Located on Fremont Street in the, erm, heart of downtown, this place draws its share of curious tourists.  I made sure to grab a seat within sight of the entrance, so I could scoff at the folks who came in, saw the size of the burgers on the menu, and ran away crying, with their tails between their legs.  Of course, I didn’t just come for the people watching.  I was determined to finish one of these artery-busting burgers, even if it killed me!

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What, that doesn’t look like a big burger to you?  OK fine, how about a close-up?

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Aren’t you glad you didn’t order a double?  Well, yes I am, actually.  I did get mine with bacon, though.  I must say that I initially thought five strips of bacon was a lot, but on this massive burger, they get sucked into the chili-cheese vortex, and practically disappear from the palette.  And here’s the bad news.  Although the Grill serves up great big burgers, they really aren’t great burgers.  The meat was pretty bland with an unappealing texture.  And while the red onions added a bit of sharpness, especially if you bit right into one, the overall taste was dominated by the chili, which was average at best.  If you’re not a fan of the chili cheeseburger, I’d definitely advise you to stay away.

On the other hand, the fries are fairly tasty.  Thick cut, skin on, like you’d get at a good chip shop.  Curiously enough, they look nothing like the Flatliner Fries on the menu.  Does that mean mine weren’t covered in lard?

But don’t think you can order a burger without chili, either.  These guys really stick to their guns.  I saw a family of three walk in, with a boy about seven or eight, and when he didn’t wanna put on the hospital gown (yeah, they make you wear those), the hostess sent them on their way after a word with the owner.  There’s also no sharing allowed, unless you order a Single Bypass.  Hey, you don’t need help digging your own grave, right?  (Erm, wait…)

And here’s the pièce de résistance: Their receipts blame Obama for the Nevada Sales Tax.  Well, that’s what I thought initially, but it occurred to me that it’s actually a subtle dig at Obamacare.  After all, they list your subtotal as “Medical Services.”

001(Because you’re gonna wish you had socialized medicine after you eat here!!!)

Oh, and for what it’s worth, I saw two big boys tip the scales at more than 350, which means that their Bypasses were on the house.  (This was before noon, mind you.  I’m sure there were plenty more throughout the day.)  Try getting that deal at an American hospital! ;)

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I must say, The Burger Press is pretty impressive…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

I noticed this place had a “Grand Opening” sign out front when I whizzed past it on the Bathurst streetcar last nite, and since I happened to be in the area again today, I decided to stop in and check it out.  Located right next door to the CB2 furniture store that used to be The Big Bop, The Burger Press occupies a small storefront in a larger industrial building.  Believe me when I say it’s pretty small.  The restaurant’s seating capacity is a whopping four people, although you could fit a couple more onto the bench out front.  And I gotta say, the decor is pretty classy, as well.  Basically, they took a buncha snotty bumper stickers and put ‘em up on the white walls.  The one up top here is my favourite:

While it’s only a one-man operation behind the counter, that dude’s definitely got a good thing going.  Y’see, what makes this place unique is that instead of pre-formed burgers, they have containers of ground beef behind the counter, with interesting components pressed into the meat.  For instance, I went with the El Press-idente, which had a nice kick from the jalapeno and habanero peppers mixed in.  Basically, you decide what size you want your burger to be (minimum 4 ounces), and they grab a slab of beef, weigh it, then press it into a patty with some fancy machine.  You then choose your toppings once it comes off the grill (I went with the standard lettuce/tomato/onions/pickles as well as some salsa and banana peppers for a little more heat), while all burgers come with a side of oven-fresh potato wedges and some tzatziki dipping sauce.  The end result looks something like this:

While I was impressed by their small-scale meaty magic, one has to wonder if such an establishment can succeed with all the gourmet burgers being served in this city (case in point: Burger Week).  Also, while that location would’ve been pretty hot about five years ago, it’s no longer the hippest part of town; there’s no denying that being next to a furniture store as opposed to a massive concert hall cuts down on the potential late-nite crowd.  That said, I wish them well.  While I went with a mere six-ounce burger this time around, I’m inclined to see how much beef they can pound into a patty for me next time.  Though if I do opt for a 20-ounce Frankenburger (they charge by the oz, BTW), I’ll hafta make sure not to make it a Press-idente.  That wouldn’t feel so good the next morning, if ya know what I mean…