SEARCH TERM OF THE DAY: Because the internet has the answers to everything…

Although I’ve long ago given up on documenting the bizarre search terms that bring people to this site on a daily basis, that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen some strange ones lately.  This one made me LOL, so I figured I’d share it.  Since when does typing a question about boobs at a sports bar into Google give you the exact answer you’re looking for?

stod44

For those who don’t know, Shoeless Joe’s is a chain of Southern Ontario sports bars where the servers wear very low-cut tops.  I briefly mentioned this in a post I wrote about breastaurants almost a year ago, which has given me both the fifth and sixth search results for the above query.  Clearly, I’m not the only one who doesn’t go there for the chicken.  But with 35 locations in the Golden Horseshoe and beyond, I don’t think there’s ever been an official, company-wide “nicest tits” competition.  That being said, the answer is Kendra*.

 

*I’m assuming there’s probably a girl named Kendra at one of these places.  Seriously, who searches the internet for this stuff!?  Can’t you just go down there on wing night and see for yourself???

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I think I’ve found the breast place to watch the big game in Toronto…

The Tilted Kilt, a vaguely Celtic-themed breastaurant, opened late last year on The Esplanade, just east of Yonge.  The U.S.-based chain already has one in Calgary, but it wasn’t there before I left town, so I’ve never been.  But as the image above illustrates, it’s basically Hooters with Scottish schoolgirls.  Well blow me bagpipes, lassie!

Now from what I’ve read, the food’s nothing to dance a jig for–although it looks soooo good on the menu–but as everyone seems to say, they’ve got a lotta TVs.  Which suits me just fine.  Cuz while the massive 6,700 foot TV at Real Sports is awfully impressive, you get a sore neck from watching it when you’re seated at the bar, where the other screens are much, much smaller.  (And frankly, I wasn’t a fan of their food, either…)  If I can get a good glimpse at the game on a giant screen without pulling any muscles, then I’m happy.  The additional eye candy, well, that’s just the brown sauce on the haggis!  (Note that they don’t actually appear to have haggis on the menu, although they do serve a Scottish cheesesteak…)

Alas, while the establishment has only been in business since October, and several reviews have been lukewarm, the Kilt has received the Henry Burris seal of approval.  I heard he gave it three thumbs up! ;)

(Notice the strategically-placed Coke glass?)

Would you like tits with that?

According to Macleans.ca, the so-called breastaurant is the “second-fastest growing sector in the casual dining industry behind upscale burgers.”  And if you’re thinking this sector is named after quarter-chicken dinners, think again.  Taking their cue from Hooters, chains like Tilted Kilt and Twin Peaks succeed with a clientele that’s 80 per cent male, 21 to 35 years old and has a thing for women in plaid skirts—or in the case of the latter, skimpy plaid shirts and hiking shorts.  What’s more, the sector is poised to take Canada by storm, one chest at a time.

Tilted Kilt opened up in Edmonton last year not long before Christmas, and will be established in Calgary just in time for Stampede.  They also plan on opening six locations in the GTA by the end of next year.  (Here’s hoping there’s one on Bay Street!)

Not that this concept is anything new.  Anyone who’s ever been to Shoeless Joe’s knows the breasts are the best thing on the menu—and the chicken ain’t bad, either.  The concept of “enlightened sexism” has certainly been known to sell its share of wings and beers.  Just don’t try to open a breastaurant in East Montreal.  Le Restaurant des Princesses d’Hochelaga, a diner offering topless breakfast, has been mired in a messy legal battle with its borough over a zoning law that forces its serveuses to cover up.  And I don’t think they’d be too thrilled with you wearing a kilt, tilted or otherwise, either.