Because Barack would be bangin’ with a butterfly tramp stamp!

Although the president’s daughters are a little too young to get inked, Barack Obama is laying down the law when it comes to tattoos.  As he told the Today show, “What we’ve said to the girls is, ‘If you guys ever decided you’re going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo in the same place. And we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo,’” Obama said.  Can you say most-viewed YouTube video ever!?

As The Telegraph points out, with tattoos on “36 percent of 18 to 25 year-olds in the United States, the president appears to have grown concerned that his daughters, Malia 14, and Sasha, 11, may follow the growing trend. By contrast, just 11 per cent of the Obamas’ 50-64 age group admit to having a tattoo. ”  Funny, I could’ve sworn sailors made up a larger percentage of the population in those days…

Mind you, Obama becoming the first tattooed president could appeal to a certain number of his constituents—aside from his kids.  And besides, there are other trendy ways for him to embarrass the First Children of the United States.  The Today Show reports that “Obama also confirmed rumors of going Gangnam Style during his second inauguration,” although the president told the NBC program “Fortunately, we destroyed all the tapes.”  That said, I’m sure the Secret Service are simply saving them till Sasha’s wedding day… ;)

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COMMENT OF THE DAY: In 2112, hammers band you!


Citizens of Amercia, Judgement Day is upon you…  Tomorrow is the day that Obama takes your guns away!  Every last one of them!  Including the one you used to shoot the gator that had a mean look in his eye like he wanted to have sexual relations with your wife—so help you Reagan!

Oooor not.  But in any case, President Obama did hold a press conference today to say that tomorrow, Joe Biden’s task force will have some recommendations “for curbing gun violence” in the wake of the tragic Newtown shooting.  Methinks that “banding” hammers won’t be one of them:


But hey, it’s probably safe to say that if the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx were against all forms of music, they probably wouldn’t be fans of firearms, either.  And did they not destroy that guitar with a hammer!?  (Sorry, that’s a Rush reference.  Y’all wouldn’t get it…)


Oecuménique: Describes something that spans across multiple religions, or that affects everybody on earth.

As seen in: « Le président Barack Obama s’est rendu dimanche soir dans cette petite ville du Connecticut, à 130 km au nord-est de New York, pour y participer à une cérémonie oecuménique. »

(Translation: President Barack Obama came Sunday night to the small Connecticut town, 130 kilometres northeast of New York, to participate in a multi-religious ceremony.”)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: The moon colony would come equipped with some high-powered telescopes, I presume?


Reuters is reporting that a Phoenix, AZ woman ran over her husband with the family minivan this past weekend when she found out that he didn’t vote, blaming his “lack of voter participation” for allowing Barack Obama to win the US presidential election.  Nevermind that Mitt Romney actually carried the state of Arizona, and that Daniel Solomon would have needed to vote a couple million times in at least half-a-dozen swing states in order to prevent an Obama electoral victory.  But hey, you know where Obama isn’t president?  On the moon!

(Hmm, so I take it that watching people have sex with animals isn’t a sin, as long as you don’t partake in it yourself?  Good to know…)


Mœurs: A system of commonly-held cultural beliefs and behaviours, ie morals.

As seen in: « La création d’emplois et la question du relèvement ou de l’abaissement des impôts, plus que les questions de mœurs ou les relations internationales sont au cœur de la bataille idéologique que se livrent Barack Obama et Mitt Romney dans la course à la Maison Blanche. »

(Translation: “Job creation and the question of raising or lowering taxes, more so than moral issues or international relations, are at the heart of the ideological battle waged by Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in the race for the White House.”)


Déblaiement: The clearing or removal of debris from an area.

As seen in: « Le président Barack Obama a déclaré les Etats du New Jersey et de New York, zones de « désastres majeurs », ce qui libère des fonds fédéraux pour les opérations de secours et de déblaiement. »

(Translation: “President Barack Obama declared the states of New Jersey and New York major disaster zones, which frees up federal funds for rescue and removal missions.”)


Quadrillage: The dividing of an area into squares or sectors.  Figuratively, this can be used as a translation of “crisscrossing,” ie drawing lines across the map.

As seen in: « Barack Obama et Mitt Romney, après un dernier débat, entamaient mardi le sprint final de la campagne présidentielle, synonyme de quadrillage inlassable des Etats qui pourraient faire la différence dans deux semaines, sur fond de sondages très serrés. »

(Translation: “Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, after their final debate, started the final sprint of the presidential campaign Tuesday, synonymous of the indefatigable crisscrossing of States that could make the difference in two weeks, based on a very tight race in the polls.”)


Joute: A battle or test of wits between two men; literally, a joust.

As seen in: « Le réseau Twitter s’enflamme régulièrement lors des grands débats télévisés politiques. Ce fut encore le cas lors des joutes oratoires entre Barack Obama et Mitt Romney. »

(Translation: “Twitter lights up regularly during televised political debates, which was the case once again during the verbal jousts between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.”)

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Croiser le fer

Croiser le fer: To fight, to battle, to dispute; literally, to cross swords.

As seen in: « À 34 jours de l’élection américaine, Barack Obama et Mitt Romney croiseront le fer ce soir à Denver, au Colorado, à l’occasion du premier de trois débats présidentiels. »

(Translation: “Thirty-four days before the American election, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will do battle tonight in Denver, Colorado, for the first of three presidential debates.”)

Who needs to write your own propaganda when The Onion can do it for you?

In a country that doesn’t have a free press, the concept of a satirical news site must be difficult to understand.  At least, that’s the argument one might make to defend Fars, the Iranian news agency that ran a piece from The Onion on its English-language site about how rural white Americans would rather vote for Ahmadinejad than Obama.  Clearly, a more astute observer would have a hard time taking the following statement at face value: “77 percent of rural Caucasian voters … would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama.”  But let’s not put it past the Iranian news agency to report such statements as fact.

CBS News offers some other excuses, noting that “Friday is the holy day in the Muslim world, so it is also possible that Fars’ normal editor had the day off and a more junior member of staff made the apparent error.”  To their credit, it seems that they didn’t take the trouble of translating the story into Farsi before taking it down.  Also, as CBS notes, “they appear not to have picked up a story on The Onion a couple days earlier, showing a green-glowing Ahmadinejad proclaiming to the United Nations that he was, himself, a nuclear weapon.”  Mind you, that one never would’ve made it past the censors.

And speaking of world leaders, it seems Fars has yet to report on the new bass player for Metallica, for that matter. ;)