Back when I first professed my love for Storage Auction TV shows, my routine was pretty straight-forward. “Auction Hunters” was on Tuesday, and “Storage Wars” aired on Wednesday, with all-nite marathons of each program being the norm. However, as the two shows entered a new season, A&E decided to up the ante by moving its cash cow to Tuesday nites, going head-to-head with Spike’s auction show. The latter countered by giving away a million bucks (on the eve of its rival’s premiere, anyways) and introducing a new show, “Flip Men,” in its 10:30 slot.
If you haven’t seen “Flip Men,” well, it seems that Spike scoured the country to find a pair of house flippers who look exactly like Allen Haff and Ton Jones. Mike Baird is the geeky, know-it-all businessman/real estate agent, while Doug Clark is the brawn of the operation, a dude who can rip down a deck with his bare hands. While a show about flipping houses isn’t all that exciting, each week they find a way to up the ante. It’s like one week, we had a guy who didn’t wanna leave his stuff behind in foreclosed home, so the next time, we’ll have a squatter. We’ve already done the Mexican gang-occupied house, so this week, we’ll buy a house where somebody got shot. That kinda thing. Mind you, the squatter episode didn’t really live up to the hype, so I’m keeping my expectations in check from now on.
“Auction Hunters” have sorta upped the ante in their own right, with episodes like their L.A. homecoming, where they banked five-figure profits on just two units. Which brings me back to my initial question: with both the Auction Hunters and the Storage Wars crews circling the same turf, isn’t it just a matter of time before they’re forced to do battle? I wonder which network will score the rights to that epic event. (Mind you, I think Dave and Jarrod would just raise the bidding on all the units, leaving Allen and Ton empty-handed.)
As for Storage Wars, well, this season seems to have brought out the extremes in its stars’ personalities. Darrell is becoming more and more of a grumpy old man (I liked his god-awful Godfather impression there), Dave becomes more of a jackass with each episode while Jarrod’s ego grows by the minute–and is it just me, or have Brandi’s boobs gotten bigger, too? Meanwhile, Barry continues to throw his money at any unit with a trunk in it, and while he brings character to the show, it’s gotten to the point where I’m almost begging him not to bid. I guess I’m more like Darrell–or more like Allen and Ton, for that matter–if I can’t double my money, I’m walking away. Perhaps Barry’s philosophy should be “If I can’t make back my money, time to stop bidding.” How much cash does that guy have, anyways!?
By the way, I’d love to see Mark Balelo make another appearance after his “$13,000 Nintendo” purchase. I could use a laugh. Am I the only one who thinks that some of the regulars are also overvaluing their items–Dave Hester in particular? Mind you, no one’s been as bad as Mark when it comes to throwing money away…
Bottom line, I’d rather work with the Auction Hunters, but when it comes to prime-time drama, give me Storage Wars any day! I’ll just hafta catch up with Allen and Ton during their next marathon on Spike.