Episode 143 of Gruesome Tunes now available for download!

gruesometunesnew

CLICK HERE.

11/16/14 PLAYLIST

OCOAI – Somnium (The Electric Hand) 3:16

Grimpen Mire – The Hollow Wreck (Bastard of the Skies/Grimpen Mire split) 5:47

Oh How It Ended – Old Man Jenkins (Welcome to Brown Rock) 2:40

Indian – Rape (From All Purity) 7:48

Thinning the Herd – Oceans Rise (Oceans Rise) 4:17

Luder – Astrolabe (Adelphophagia) 5:34

 

1000Mods – Low (Vultures) 4:19

Anciients – Flood and Fire (Heart of Oak) 7:17

Sorrows Path – Clouds Inside Me (Doom Philosophy) 5:07

16 – Her Little “Accident” (Deep Cuts from Dark Clouds) 4:16

Drainland – Weakness (…And So Our Troubles Began) 5:33

Noothgrush – Stagnance (Live For Nothing) 4:52

 

Snail – Ritual (Terminus) 6:11

Coffinworm – A Death Sentence Called Life (IV.I.VIII) 6:27

Monster Magnet – Last Patrol (Last Patrol) 9:24

Royal Thunder – Shake and Shift (CVI) 9:14

 

Beneath Oblivion – Hope, the Deceiver (From Man to Dust) 9:24

Leaf Hound – Freelance Fiend (Growers of Mushroom) 3:12

Cardinal Wyrm – I am the Doorway (Black Hole Gods) 8:11

Bovine – Heroes are What (The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire) 4:35

Proselyte – End Regions (Our Vessel’s in Need) 3:50

About these ads

Coach and Nick Miller pretending to be police sounded so awesome, I bought the DVD!

049Exhibit A

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I am a huge fan of the FOX hit comedy New Girl.  And I feel the show’s writers have really stepped up their game in Season Four, sneaking all sorts of crazy scenarios past the prudes at News Corp.  OK, so they still can’t top that episode of The Mindy Project that was all about buttsex without ever mentioning it by name…but hey, Mindy Lahiri doesn’t have her own feature film; Coach and Nick Miller do.

Soooo, maybe it’s a little hard to disassociate Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. from their characters on TV.  They may have played other roles on both the big and small screens, but the pair is definitely best known for being Zooey Deschanel’s loftmates–especially Johnson, who couldn’t even have gotten arrested in Hollywood before he became known as Nick.

And sure enough, Johnson plays another loveable loser in Ryan O’Malley, an ex-college QB who suffered a career-ending injury jumping off the roof at a frat party…and now makes a living doing Herpes commercials.  Kinda sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

To his credit, Wayans is nothing like Coach here; more of an anti-Coach, really, an assistant at a video game company who’s too shy to even talk to the girl of his dreams.  (Say, wasn’t Coach terrible with women in the New Girl pilot?)  Of course, all that changes when they put on the uniforms, left over from one of Coach, erm, Justin Miller’s–yes, his last name is Miller!–failed game ideas.  Although they first use them just to score drugs and get girls, Nick, erm, Ryan takes things a little too far…and stumbles into a major gun-running ring in the process.  So, y’know, it’s kind of like a buddy-cop comedy, except they’re not real cops.

Suffice to say, if you’re a fan of the show, you’ll enjoy this movie.  If not, you probably went “Who the fuck are those guys!?” when you saw the ads on TV–and hey, unless you like buddy-cop comedies, it’s probably not for you. ;)

Because you’d look better in Grip of Delusion Radio…

Back when I was with CKLN, we always seemed to have our annual fundraising drive around this time of year, right when we moved our clocks back and celebrated Halloween…not necessarily at the same time.  One year, I raised a buncha cash with this show at El Mocambo, where we even got Sons of OTIS and Nadja to play.  I’m pretty sure all that money just went into some guy’s pocket, but hey, there’s a reason why CKLN isn’t a radio station anymore.  (Don’t even get me started on Indie 88.1!!!!)

In any case, I’ve since moved on to podcasting, where Grip of Delusion Radio has been the exclusive home of Gruesome Tunes (not counting this blog) since 2011–a little over three years to the day, in actual fact.  And even though we don’t have a transmitter on top of a building somewhere, the station still needs funds to stay afloat.  But rather than asking you to pledge 50 bucks for some shitty coffee mug, we’re selling t-shirts.  Cuz what could more metal than this t-shirt?

Not to mention that said shirts are just $15, which is such a metal price that it’s, like, $6.66 times two, plus a couple bucks or something.  Of course, that’s in U.S. currency, so just about 72 dollars Canadian these days.  Still waiting for our buck to bounce back so I can go back to the States…  But that’s besides the point.  Did I mention that we even have ladies sizes?

ORDER HERE

(Oh, and for the record, that’s not me in the picture.  It’s some guy named Gary.  He was also in the background of a few photos I took at EOTSG3.)

Just two more weeks till the Stamps are champs! (My 2014 CFL playoff predictions)

As far as I’m concerned, this is Calgary’s year.  The Stamps finished 15-3, tied for the second-best record in CFL history, and won most of their games with ease.  Their offence scored more points than anybody else this season, while their defence gave up the second-fewest points in the league–just one touchdown more than Edmonton.  And for what it’s worth, all three of their losses were to teams they couldn’t possibly face again before the Grey Cup Final…if B.C. or Montreal even makes it that far.  Personally, I think the path through the West is pretty clear.

Out East, it’s a totally different story.  All three playoff participants finished 9-9, including the crossover B.C. Lions, who have a much better chance of extending the home-team Grey Cup winning streak by qualifying through the Least Division.  But I hafta give the edge to a different feline, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, who’ve secured homefield advantage for the Eastern Final.  The Cats haven’t lost a game at home since Tim Hortons Field (belatedly) opened, and they earned their bye by beating Montreal quite convincingly at Timmies in Week 20.  But as the CFL schedule shifts to Sundays, it’s time to cue up that Al Pacino speech from Any Given Sunday–the only part of that movie worth re-watching–especially if you’re an Esks, Riders, Als or Lions fan.  With that said, here are my 2014 playoff predictions:

WEST DIVISION

Semi-Final: Edmonton over Saskatchewan.  With Darian Durant and Mike Reilly both dressed, but not expected to play, it’ll be another battle of the backups between these two teams.  In Week 20, Kerry Joseph got the best of Matt Nichols, despite completing just five of his 16 passes.  But that game was completely meaningless to Edmonton, and it was also in Saskatchewan.  While I expect the Rider faithful to paint Commonwealth Stadium a lighter shade of green, a 5-for-16 effort from their starting pivot just ain’t gonna cut it this time.  27-14 Edmonton.

Final: Calgary over Edmonton.  Chances are Mike Reilly will be back for this one, and the Esks are gonna need him.  Edmonton went 0-3 against Calgary in the regular season, although two of those games were decided by no more than a touchdown.  That being said, the lone contest in which the Stamps pulled away happened to be the only game of the trilogy played at McMahon, a little contest called the Labour Day Classic.  The Calgary D held Edmonton to just three points in the second half of a 28-13 win–coincidentally, Matt Nichols also started that game at QB for the Esks.  So maybe Mike Reilly makes it closer, but it still won’t be close enough.  Calgary 34, Edmonton 28

EAST DIVISION

Semi-Final: Montreal over B.C.  The Lions are reeling heading into the playoffs, having been outscored 70-19 in a pair of season-ending losses.  Granted, those games were against Edmonton and Calgary, but the Stamps had nothing to play for last week, and still beat ‘em by 17.  On the other hand, Montreal had reeled off six straight wins before suffering a season-ending loss in Hamilton.  And hey, gimme Jonathan “Future Hair Model” Crompton over Kevin Glenn any day!  Als 40, Lions 19

Final: Hamilton over Montreal.  The Week 20 matchup between these two teams wasn’t just a potential playoff preview, it was also a must-win for Hamilton.  With the Least Division race coming down to the wire, the Cats woulda been eliminated if they’d lost–but a win by more than seven would give them homefield.  Turns out, they won by an extra TD in a 29-15 statement game, scoring 15 points in the fourth quarter alone.  And did I mention that they’ve never lost a game at Tim Hortons Field?  29-15 Hamilton (again!)

102ND GREY CUP

Not gonna lie, this would’ve been a much better storyline if Henry Burris still played for Hamilton.  Then you’d have the longtime Stampeder–the last Stamps QB to win the Cup, in fact–in search of redemption, not only against his former team, but to make up for his shitterific performance in last year’s big game.  Hell, I’d even bust out my old Burris jersey and duct-tape SEXTING HANK across the back.  Cuz while Calgary’s the much better team, it’s actually Hamilton who’d be coming in as two-time defending division champs.

But hey, judging by the REDBLACKS!!!!! record this season, it’s safe to say the Ti-Cats would not be here today (or rather, two weeks from today) if they still had Sexting Hank behind centre.  Though he didn’t exactly light up the league, Zach Collaros had a respectable season as a starting QB when healthy, completing 65.8 per cent of his passes with 15 TDs and nine interceptions.  But with their RB-by-committee approach to the run game and a defence that only looks respectable against the Least Division, I don’t think Hamilton has enough weapons to get ‘r done.

These two teams played one of the ugliest games of the CFL season, waaaay back in Week Four, with the Stamps squeaking out a 10-7 win at home.  But I’d argue that QB Bo Levi Mitchell, he who’s only lost, like, two games his whole career, was still finding his wings as a first-year starter in that game…as his non-descript 20-35, 201 yard passing effort would indicate.  When these teams met again a month later, it was a totally different story, with Calgary winning 30-20 in front of a packed house of 6,500 at Hamilton’s Ron Joyce Field.  Mitchell was much better in that one, completing 19-of-27 for 271, while Hamilton was held to single digits until late in the third quarter.  So yes, the Cats have lost at home this year–their new stadium just wasn’t ready yet.

Of course, despite its much-closer proximity to Calgary, B.C. Place is technically considered a neutral site.  You’d also hafta wonder how many Ti-Cat fans would take the trip after that absolute ass-whooping in Regina last year.  As a Stamps fan, I was severely outnumbered at the last two Cups I attended (96 and 100), so I’d be looking forward to turn the tide in this one.  As for the on-field action, well, I hate to break it to my fellow Eric Church fans, but this game oughtta be over by halftime.  Hey, if I see you at the stadium wearing a Steeltown trucker hat, I just might put a drink in yer hand.  Calgary 50, Hamilton 29

Gruesome Greg attends country-music concert (in Hamilton). Drunkularity ensues!

You might not know this about me, but I’ve been a big Eric Church fan ever since August.  When my Stamps-REDBLACKS!!!! tickets didn’t arrive in the mail, I had to call Capital Tickets a couple times, where their on-hold muzak was actually a promo for an upcoming Eric Church concert in the nation’s capital.  After hearing the damn thing at least a couple dozen times–let’s just say, they put me on hold a lot–I realized that A) The man has some catchy tunes and B) (Almost) all of them are about drinking.  Hearing this, I pretty much had to investigate further via YouTube.

Drink in my Hand,” from his 2011 album Chief, is my new Friday-night jam.  It’s an epic meditation on intoxication that is extremely uplifting.  I know I sang along to every word last night…from the front row of his sold-out concert at Hamilton’s FirstOntario Place.  I guess that two-minute “The Outsiders are Coming!” promo spot had its intended effect, even though I ended up in a different city than the show it was promoting.

Unbeknownst to me, Eric Church is a pretty big deal ’round these parts.  The show in Hamilton was completely sold out–in fact, there were only single seats left when I went looking online last weekend.  The guy hails from North Carolina, a helluva long way from Hamilton, but he has a number-one album and a coupla country-chart-topping hits (including the aforementioned “Drink in my Hand”) under his belt, so he’s not exactly a nobody.  In fact, he’s racked up so many cowboy points that country legend Dwight Yoakam, a man whose “Guitars, Cadillacs (& Hillbilly Music)” has been a Stampede-breakfast staple for nearly three decades, was actually opening for Church.  You can kinda make out his white-lighted silhouette on the monitor below:

004Uh, this is probably where I mention that I was front row in the grandstand, not the floor.  But hey, at least they had flush toilets at that level!

006

As much as I was digging Dwight, including his even-more-countrified take on “Ring of Fire,” the beers started catching up to me (I was drinking in the Augusta British Pub District up until showtime) and I had to hit the head.  Suffice to say, I wasn’t the only hombre with this idea–hey, that’s what opening acts are for, right?–but I was slightly amused to find that I was the only dude in line who wasn’t wearing a plaid button-down shirt.  I guess that’s how you’re supposed to dress up for a country-music concert in Hamilton; although I always thought plaid was more of a grunge thing.  In any case, I was wearing the exact same outfit as the evening’s headliner: leather jacket, black t-shirt, blue jeans and a trucker hat, although I doubt Eric’s headgear had WEED METAL written on it. ;)

013(Can’t see his hat in this shot, mind you.)

022

Then again, I think Eric Church probably also enjoys the combination of marijuana and heavy metal.  Church and company came off almost as polished and electrifying on stage as a much-heavier outfit–perhaps not Black Sabbath, but a mid-tier touring metal band, maybe.  Church’s lead guitarist even launched into the riff from “Sweet Leaf” towards the end of his smoke-em-if-ya-got-em anthem “Drink a Little Drink, Smoke a Little Smoke.”  I mighta been the only person in attendance who picked up on that, though…

There was no shortage of rock ‘n roll stageshow props either, most notably a 50-foot inflatable Satan that was right in my wheelhouse.  I actually got a coupla decent shots of said sweet Satan on my iPhone…aaaaaaaand that’s why I always delete all my pictures before I cross the border! ;)

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Alas, there’s more to an Eric Church show than Satan and Sabbath and booze.  He took the stage to Clutch (“Electric Worry,” mind you), covered Skynyrd and Springsteen, and even had a KISS-style drum riser.  This ain’t yer grand-pappy’s country music!!!

042

And when it comes to official concert apparel, Eric Church measures up with the metal-heads, too.  Believe it or not, but the Canadian-flag pot-leaf tee was one of the least-offensive designs on offer.  (Little did I know, but the man’s middle name is actually Fucking, as in Eric Fucking Church…)

045

Yuuup, I’m officially a member of Team Church now.  I’ve actually been listening to his last two CDs as I typed this up.  Although, I gotta say, the design on the front of said shirt sorta looks like he took it from my ol’ buddies in Diablo Red:

048

All I can say is that if Eric Church covers “Rise of the Fallen” on his next tour, I’ll shit my fucking britches.  And yes, I do fully intend to be there next time.  Turns out, if you wanna get me to like country, all ya gotta do is put a DRANK in ma hand! ;)

Episode 142 of Gruesome Tunes now available for download!

gruesometunesnew

CLICK HERE.

11/09/14 PLAYLIST

Jello Biafra & the Melvins – Dawn of the Locusts (Sieg Howdy!) 5:40

Sexton Creeps – God is an Audience Too Divine to Clap (The Sour Acre) 4:13

Prizehog – Gnumskill, the Ruler (Re-Unvent the Whool) 7:09

Black Tusk – Ender of All (Set the Dial) 4:47

ÖfÖ Am – Montée Religieuse (The Beast Within) 4:35

The Lone Crows – Next Thing I Know (Dark Clouds) 2:50

 

SolarCruiser – Roll the Dice (self-titled EP) 5:42

Wo Fat – Noche del Chupacabra (Noche del Chupacabra) 15:03

Nether Regions – Your Name is Madness (Into the Breach) 4:50

Space Mushroom Fuzz – Wreckage (Stealing Some Time) 5:40

 

Doctor Cyclops – Waterfalls (Oscuropasso) 6:10

Diesto – The Road (For Water or Blood) 6:48

Devil to Pay – This Train Won’t Stop (Fate is Your Muse) 4:40

Nightbitch – Into the Fire (Chainmaker EP) 3:41

Mothership – Win or Lose (self-titled) 5:58

 

When the Deadbolt Breaks – My Coffin is Loaded with Sand and Fire [Part 4] (Drifting Towards the Edge of the Earth) 13:33

Morkobot – MoR (Morbo) 9:45

Tia Carrera – Slave Cylinder (Cosmic Priestess) 7:34

Just when I thought I was done with Ink Master, the show sucks me back in…

When I heard that Season Five of Ink Master would be all about “rivalries,” I had to cringe.  Even on competition reality shows, producers always try to play up the drama…aaaaaand that’s why I don’t watch Storage Wars anymore.  Alas, while I half-expected Dave Hester to be handed a needle for this one, it turns out they’ve got a few decent artists this season, bringing more than enough drama to feed a llama.  Real-life brothers with very different industry names Robbie Ripoll and Jayvo Scott brought the family feud big time, while Emily Elegado turned out to be nuttin’ but a bitch on two legs.  (Something tells me she might have been playing it up for the camera though.)  Dude, with all this shit’s that gone down around him, uber-heel Josh Hibbard actually seems like a nice guy by comparison.

Full disclosure, I am still catching up on past episodes via Rogers on Demand, but I think I know why the third-generation used-car salesman seems a little more subdued this season.  It says here that he just got kicked off the show for smoking some reefers.  Cuz apparently, that shit’s still illegal in New York City, or something.  Gawd blees Amurrica, and no place else!

Methinks Lips would certainly not approve: