Category Archives: NFL Football

Go Hawks!

Super Bowl Blackout: Best distraction technique ever?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In my Super Bowl preview post, I alluded to heated games of NFL QB Club, where sometimes, one’s parents would have to step in, turn the lights off, and send both participants to a timeout.  Well, okay, that never happened between me and my little bro–but it did occur in last night’s Super Bowl.  And man, talk about a game changer!

Not long after Baltimore’s Jacoby Jones ran back the second-half opening kickoff all the way to make the score 28-6 Ravens, half the lights suddenly went out in the Superdome.  Several media outlets blame Beyonce’s halftime performance, while one blogger from Vancouver’s The Province newspaper suggests it could’ve been anyone from Alex Smith to Gary Bettman to The Undertaker.  No, really.  Apparently, the American Badass allegedly owed money to those guys whose Super Bowl party got busted up in Markham… or something like that. ;)

But no matter the culprit, there’s no denying that the blackout was a mega momentum swing.  No team had ever come back from more than a 10-point deficit in the big game, and here the Niners very nearly erased a 22-point lead.  In fact, if the refs had only called that pass interference penalty on fourth-and-goal…

Hey, I get it, the officials don’t wanna decide the game.  We see this a lot in basketball, where the zebras swallow their whistles on the last possession, or in hockey, where some refs don’t call anything for the entire third period, particularly in the playoffs.  But as far as blown calls go, that PI was almost as bad as the Fail Mary; only this one wasn’t made–or rather, not made–by some replacement Div III side-judge.  Not that I’m shedding too many tears for the Niners, mind you!

Alas, the NFC West is now 0-3 in Super Bowls beginning in XL.  That said, only two of them were the refs’ fault… :(

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I think I’ve found the breast place to watch the big game in Toronto…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Tilted Kilt, a vaguely Celtic-themed breastaurant, opened late last year on The Esplanade, just east of Yonge.  The U.S.-based chain already has one in Calgary, but it wasn’t there before I left town, so I’ve never been.  But as the image above illustrates, it’s basically Hooters with Scottish schoolgirls.  Well blow me bagpipes, lassie!

Now from what I’ve read, the food’s nothing to dance a jig for–although it looks soooo good on the menu–but as everyone seems to say, they’ve got a lotta TVs.  Which suits me just fine.  Cuz while the massive 6,700 foot TV at Real Sports is awfully impressive, you get a sore neck from watching it when you’re seated at the bar, where the other screens are much, much smaller.  (And frankly, I wasn’t a fan of their food, either…)  If I can get a good glimpse at the game on a giant screen without pulling any muscles, then I’m happy.  The additional eye candy, well, that’s just the brown sauce on the haggis!  (Note that they don’t actually appear to have haggis on the menu, although they do serve a Scottish cheesesteak…)

Alas, while the establishment has only been in business since October, and several reviews have been lukewarm, the Kilt has received the Henry Burris seal of approval.  I heard he gave it three thumbs up! ;)

(Notice the strategically-placed Coke glass?)

Who do I like in the Harbaugh Bowl? Four words: Deer antler spray FTW!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

(OK, so I guess that’s three words and a cloud of acronym…)

Remember how you and your little bro would face off in the Super Bowl on NFL QB Club for Super NES, and the rivalry was so intense that someone inevitably got smacked upside the head with a controller?  Well, you might wanna keep a close eye on the coaches’ headsets tomorrow, because Super Bowl XLVII is kinda like that–’cept instead of getting first dibs on the Cheetos, the winner gets to lift the Lombardi Trophy.  Two sons of Harbaughs will appear on opposite sidelines in the big game, as the first pair of brothers to not only be NFL head coaches at the same time, but to meet each other for the championship.  Things could get a little testy!

Of course, no one really had Baltimore and San Fran in their playoff pool.  (Personally, I picked Denver over Atlanta.  Whoops!)  While the Niners won the NFC West, they sorta limped into the playoffs with an ugly loss to Seattle and a less-than-convincing win over the crap-bodacious Arizona Cardinals.  But that’s nothing compared to the Ravens, who lost four of their last five regular season games to unconvincingly clinch the AFC North crown.  People like to say that Baltimore firing its offensive co-ordinator really turned the team around, but it sure doesn’t show on the scoreboard.  Take away their win over the Giants–the one in 1-4–and they only averaged 18.5 points per game over the last six weeks.  Then again, they have put up 30 per in the postseason.

But as the old adage goes, “Defense wins championships,” and it’s on that note which both these teams belong in the Big Easy.  San Fran had one of the stingiest Ds in the league, giving up the second-fewest points (17.1) and third-fewest yards (294.4) per game all season.  And while Baltimore’s defensive dynasty might have dropped off a bit (12th in points, 17th in yards), they still allowed three-and-a-half fewer points than their 10th-ranked offense scored.  Not to mention that they were without their secret weapon for most of the regular season…

Deer-antler spray!  As Sports with Alternatives to Steroids spokesman Christopher Key reportedly told a room of Alabama Crimson Tide, “We have deer that we harvest out of New Zealand.  Their antlers are the fastest-growing substance on planet Earth . . . because of the high concentration of IGF-1.  We’ve been able to freeze dry that out, extract it, put it in a sublingual spray that you shake for 20 seconds and then spray three [times] under your tongue.”  Magic!  Not only did it help Alabama win a national title, but, as Sports Illustrated reports, “S.W.A.T.S.’s most famous client, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, enters Super Bowl XLVII on Sunday after speaking with Ross in October to request items that would speed his recovery from a torn right triceps.”  Dun dun dun…

Since Lewis made his healthy return, just in time for the playoffs, he’s racked up 44 tackles in three games.  Not bad for a 37-year-old.  Alas, when he announced he’d be retiring after the Super Bowl, you just knew he’d need all the deer-antler spray he could get his tongue on in order to take his team all the way.  Of course, the perennial Pro-Bowl linebacker denies he deer-doped, calling it “the trick of the devil,” but methinks the proof’s in the photo above. ;)

Mind you, the Niners have a secret weapon of their own in Colin Kaepernick.  Now, I’m not suggesting he’s deer-doping too, but the second-year player, first-time starter must have deer tendons in his legs, cuz he runs like Bambi when the forest’s on fire.  In fact, as San Fran knocked off Green Bay in the NFC semis, Kaepernick ran for more yards than any other quarterback has ever gained on the ground in a game in NFL history.  And not only did he run for 181 and two TDs, he also threw for 263 and another two scores.  That’s 444 yards of offense, yo!  Alas, while Atlanta kept his legs in check in the conference championship, he simply handed the ball off for 128 yards, while completing 76 per cent of his passes in a come-from-behind win.  All that, and he’s got some pretty sweet tats, too!

But does he have what it takes to take his team to the title in his first season as a starter?  Big Ray and this (currently sold-out) bottle of dear-antler spray say nay!  Ravens 17, Niners 14.  (This also happens to be Wayne Gretzky’s prediction.  Can’t argue with The Great One, eh?)

Because when I wanna know who’s gonna win a football game, I ask a buncha hockey players…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The results are in, and according to the NHL, your Super Bowl XLVII champions are the San Francisco 49ers.  NHL.com is reporting that after polling 17 current and one former player, “14 picked Colin Kaepernick to lead the 49ers to their first Super Bowl victory since Steve Young threw six touchdowns passes in a 49-26 victory against the San Diego Chargers in Super XXIX in 1995.”  Mind you, 1995 was the last time the NHL played a lockout-shortened season, so perhaps the PA is onto something here…

Amongst the players who picked the Niners was Sidney Crosby, who has SF 20, BAL 14 in perhaps the richest office pool this side of Wall Street.  No word as to how much Sid the Kid knows about the gridiron, but he has suffered several concussions, which are also a recurring injury in the NFL.  Meanwhile, Phoenix tough-guy and Twitter celeb Paul Bissonnette, who has an “admitted lack of knowledge about the NFL” according to NHL.com, sees it as a slightly higher-scoring affair; 28-24 Niners.  “I’ve been watching their new quarterback over the last nine games, and every week he seems to keep surprising people and getting better,” he told his team’s ownership.  ”He just kind of shows signs of maturity.”  This is coming from a guy who once tweeted “You can save a bunch of money on your future by switching to single. #ValentinesDay #Geico”  Not sure there’s much maturity in that statement!

Among the players who didn’t jump on the San Fran bandwagon were Shane Doan, who’s apparently buds with Terrell Suggs and Anquan Boldin, and Tyler Seguin of the Bruins, who NHL.com suggests “clearly had his eyes opened when the New England Patriots were soundly beaten in the AFC Championship, [and] predicted a 14-point victory for Baltimore.”  (I suspect his Beantown teammates Milan Lucic and Patrice Bergeron picked the Niners out of spite.)  But if there’s one voice of reason from the NHL survey that I’ll pay attention to, it’s Wayne Gretzky.  The Great One is picking the Ravens to win, 17-14.  And I’d assume he’d actually be able to foresee the outcome… After all, Gretzky is God, eh?

COMMENT OF THE DAY: I guess the other 43,967 just show up to drink, fight and tailgate, eh?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/football/nfl/article/1321292–buffalo-bills-rogers-centre-reach-deal-to-continue-playing-one-nfl-game-per-season-in-toronto

Speaking of the (Not-So-)Super Bowl, Rogers announced today that it’s extending the Bills in Toronto Series for another five seasons—twice as long as your typical Rogers contract.  This should probably pay for a pretty good portion of those upgrades to Ralph Wilson Stadium, mind you.  Never mind that players have publicly stated they hate playing at Rogers Centre, bitter Buffalonians don’t take the trip to support their losing team, and your typical Torontoninan couldn’t care less… as a Seahawks fan, I sure enjoyed this season’s contest! ;)

Of course, the official attendance for the Bills and Hawks was listed at 40,770, far from a sell-out, and a far cry from the Ralph’s capacity crowd of 73,967.  But according to this omniscient sometime Bills supporter, the crowd in Buffalo wouldn’t be any bigger if you took away their booze ‘n blue cheese:

cotd129

(Then again, even if the unthinkable were to happen, and the Ralph operated at 40.5586% capacity all season, they’d likely still outdraw the Grey Cup champion Toronto Argonauts.  But don’t get me started on that…)

All $5,900 gets you in San Fran these days is… ripped off!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

When I bought my tickets to the 100th Grey Cup following Calgary’s glorious triumph in the Western Final, I got them off a guy in Fredericton who apparently had no vested interest in the game.  Of course, I paid a lot more than face value, but my tickets arrived on time as advertised.  It probably helps that I went through a reputable ticket broker, namely StubHub.  Perhaps that’s why I don’t feel bad for the Niners fan who shelled out nearly six grand for tickets on Craigslist… and received a photo of Joe Flacco instead.

As the Silicon Valley Mercury News reports, a Hayward, CA couple “found on Craigslist what they thought was a fair price: $5,900 for four seats, about double face value — even if they’d have to send their money cross-country to a dreaded Baltimore Ravens’ season ticket holder.”  They apparently did their due diligence, calling and emailing the seller several times, and bought his story, that “he was a corporate tax attorney living in Boca Raton, Fla., and his wife was eight months pregnant, which was why they couldn’t go to the game themselves,” hook, line and sinker.  Never mind that Craigslist specifically states “Do NOT wire funds,” they were duped into sending the sum via wire transfer.  But unlike most scammers, who take the money and run, this guy FedExed them an envelope with “Go Ravens!” written all over it.  Inside was this printout, on what appears to be cheap three-ring paper:

(That’s right, they gave him six grand, and he couldn’t even send ‘em a glossy photo!)

Suffice to say, the Niners fans were devastated… but not as devastated as they’ll be when their team gets pwned on Sunday.  (Yeah, I’m a bitter Seahawks fan—suck it, San Fran!)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: It says here Notre Dame’s lord and saviour is a phony. No, not Manti Te’o…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://deadspin.com/5976517/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-and-inspirational-story-of-the-college-football-season-is-a-hoax

Well, it looks like Oprah has been cock-blocked by Deadspin.  Just when her tell-all interview with Lance Armstrong was set to raise her network to newfound relevancy, a new, truly bizarre story was revealed by the sports website, effectively stealing her spotlight.  Y’see, Armstrong may have lied about doping, but All-American Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o, who finished second in Heisman voting, lied about having a girlfriend… who died of leukemia… after getting in a serious car accident.  Stop the presses!

Alas, while Te’o’s not-so-serious plight has inspired 2013’s answer to Tebowing, it’s also pissed off quite a lotta people.  Irish eyes certainly aren’t smiling, to put it mildly.  Boy, won’t they be in for a shocker when Judgment Day doesn’t come…

cotd117

Wait, if Jesus doesn’t exist, then how am I following him on Twitter? ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: If Marc Trestman takes the Bears job, he could cost a couple commentators their job…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4681946/gannon-trestman-cutler-would-be-good-fit

Could the CFL’s most successful current coach be coming to Chicago?  Jimmy Johnson says he’s already there, Rich Gannon says he should be, whereas this Bears fan offers his conditional endorsement:

cotd111

Personally, I think it’s a good fit.  Both the Bears and Marc Trestman’s Als have a recent history of playing pretty well in the regular season, but coming up short in the playoffs.  Unfortunately for him, however, you don’t get awarded double penalty yardage in the NFL when the opponent has 13 men on the field. ;)

Could the Seahawks go all the way to the Super Bowl this year? Well… maybe!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

A couple days ago, I hinted that the Super Bowl would be decided between the Broncos and the Patriots in the AFC championship.  And I still believe the Broncos are the best team in the league right now; really, the only team that could knock them off would be the Pats.  On the other hand, the NFC is a lot more wide open.  It wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say the Seattle Seahawks could win the conference championship–or that they could lose in the first round.  But as a Hawks fan, I must say I like their chances.

Seattle is certainly one of the hottest teams in the NFL right now.  Not only did they end the regular season on a five-game winning streak, they swept through December in style, putting up a whopping 193 points while allowing just 60.  That’s an average margin of victory of 26.6 points per game, which is more points than most teams even score.  Not only does Seattle boast a top-10 scoring offense buoyed by the third-ranked rushing attack, they also allow fewer points per game than any other NFL team.  The SeaFense is 10th against the rush, sixth against the pass and fourth in fewest total yards allowed.  Hey, you know what they say, defense wins championships, right?

And like I said, there really is no clear cut favourite in the NFC.  The first-ranked Atlanta Falcons had the benefit of playing in a weakened NFC South division, with the added bonus of facing the AFC West in their non-conference schedule.  Aside from the Broncos, no AFC West team had a winning record this season, and the division boasted two of the NFL’s worst five teams in the Chiefs and Raiders.  Is it any wonder the Falcons went 4-0 against the AFC?  Meanwhile, the Seahawks have already beaten both San Francisco and Green Bay this season, although the latter win was highly questionable, to put it mildly…

Sooooo, what’s standing in Seattle’s way, then?  Well, how about the Washington Redskins?  The Skins had an even more impressive finish than the Hawks, winning seven straight games to take the NFC East title.  Along the way, they put up at least 28 points in all but one of those contests, beating the playoff-contending Giants, Ravens and the Cowboys.  In fact, they beat Dallas twice, including a 28-18 Week 17 whuppin’ to win the division.  Washington boasts a top-five offense, both in points and total yards, while rushing for more yards than any other team in the league–including Seattle.  But if defense wins championships, the Redskins’ 24.2 points and 377.7 yards allowed per contest just ain’t gonna get the job done.

Mind you, if Seattle were to win today–and I certainly think they will–they’d then hafta travel to Atlanta.  And while the Falcons did drop a couple questionable contests on the road, their only home loss this season came in Week 17, when they had nothing to gain by winning.  Along the way, they sent Denver, Dallas, New Orleans and New York home in defeat, shutting out the Giants 34-0 in Week 15.  Atlanta also boasts a top 10 offense, both in scoring and total yards, while their sixth-ranked passing attack would challenge the Seahawks’ sixth-ranked pass defense.  Meanwhile, the Falcons defense can stop ‘em when it counts, allowing the fifth-fewest points this season despite finishing in the bottom 10 in rushing, passing and total yards allowed.

As you can see, it won’t be an easy road for Seattle just to get to the NFC championship, where a rematch would loom, on the road, with either the Packers or the Niners.  The Hawks would definitely have some confidence going up against a San Francisco team that they disassembled 42-13 just two days before Christmas, but going up against the Packers in Green Bay, well, let’s just say that the regular officials probably won’t make the same mistake. ;)

In any case, while I might have predicted a Denver-Atlanta Super Bowl, I’ll still be cheering for Seattle every step of the way…

LET’S GO HAWKS!!!!

UPDATE 01/06: Well, Seattle took their first step towards the Super Bowl today.  Playing in a hostile environment, they dispatched the Redskins 24-14, earning the franchise’s first road playoff win since 1983!  It got off to a bit of an ugly start, Washington scoring TDs on their first two drives–but then the SeaFense clamped down, holding the Skins to just 69 yards of offense over the final three quarters.  Although they didn’t capitalize on all their drives, the offense played well enough to win, putting 380 yards on the board.  Marshawn Lynch had another Beastly playoff game, rushing for 132 yards on 20 carries, including the go-ahead TD.  Of course, you could say Seattle was helped by a gimpy RG3, who went down for good in the fourth–but hey, a win is a win…  Now, bring on the Falcons!

UPDATE 01/13: Although I had picked Atlanta to win beforehand, I was still cheering for the Seahawks all the way.  Great second-half effort to take a one-point lead with 35 seconds to play, but the SeaFense couldn’t keep ‘em outta field goal range.  30-28 Falcons.  That comeback leaves Seattle with nothing to hang their heads about, but the way the game ended is sure to leave a bitter taste in the mouths, both of the team and of Seahawks fans, myself included.  But hey, like I said in my prediction post, we’ll get ‘em next year, though…

Here we go… My 2012 NFL playoff predictions!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

*Note that while the calendar currently reads 2013, the league considers this a continuation of the 2012 season, and thus, for all intents and purposes, these are the 2012 playoffs.

Looking at the NFL playoff picture, one thing is certain: We will not have a repeat champion this year.  Although the New York Giants matched last season’s record of 9-7, that wasn’t enough to make the playoffs in the NFC this season, thanks to Week 17 wins by the Vikings, Bears and Redskins.  That said, I really think the National Conference is up for grabs this year–and not just due to New York’s absence.  The NFC-leading Atlanta Falcons came from the conference’s worst division–one whose second-best team finished 11th–and still managed to lose to the Panthers, Saints and Bucs.  Meanwhile, the pack behind them couldn’t be much tighter, as the only thing separating a first-round bye from a Wild Card spot was a Patriots comeback that came up seven points short against the Niners.  If New England wins that game in Week 15, Seattle finishes second.  As it stands, they ended up fifth–but I don’t think anyone’s sleeping on the Seahawks after their red-hot December finish…

Over in the AFC, we seem to be heading towards a showdown between Peyton Manning’s Broncos and Tom Brady’s Patriots.  The Houston Texans, who stormed out of the gate at 10-1, ended up without a bye by finishing the season with ugly losses to New England, Minny and Indy.  Frankly, I don’t think they’ll even make it out of the first round.  But I also don’t see anyone else who can challenge the Broncs or the Pats, not if their Hall-of-Fame quarterbacks come through in the clutch–something both have a habit of doing.  So, who ends up across the sidelines from each other in Super Bowl XLVII?  Read on to find out!

NFC

WILD CARD

Vikings @ Packers, January 5th: This matchup is particularly interesting considering that the Vikings had to beat the Packers in Week 17 just to earn a playoff berth–and they did so in dramatic fashion, hitting a last-second field goal to walk off 37-34 winners.  Mind you, that was within the friendly domed confines of the Mall of America Field, not the frozen tundra of Lambeau, where they must travel for the rematch.  And Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers is another one of those QBs who comes through when it counts; in fact, he threw for 365 yards in last week’s near-comeback loss, which cost the Bay a bye.  On the other side of the ball, the Packers defence could barely hold Adrian Peterson below the single-season rushing record, giving up 199 yards–but let’s see how AP runs in the snow.  I think the Packers squeak this one out, but it’ll be closer than you think.  28-27 Pack.

Seahawks @ Redskins, January 6th: Of all the teams in the NFC playoff picture, the Skins are the one I least wanted my Hawks to face.  After all, the only National team with a longer season-ending streak than Seattle’s five wins is Washington, with seven.  Both sides boast explosive rookie quarterbacks and top-three rushing offenses, but the biggest difference is on D, where Seattle allowed the fewest points and fourth-fewest yards in the league this season.  The Skins finished 22nd and 28th in those respective categories, giving up nine more points and 70 more yards per game than Seattle.  But Washington is most vulnerable against the pass; in fact, their 96 rushing yards allowed are seven fewer than the Seahawks.  The biggest question is probably whether Seattle can win on the road, as they were just 3-5 away from CenturyLink.  But statistically speaking, the Redskins have the worst homefield advantage of any NFC playoff team, dropping three games at FedEx Field this season.  Methinks that’s a good omen.  Seahawks 24, Redskins 20.

SEMI-FINALS

Packers @ 49ers, January 12th: In the very first week of the 2012 season, the Niners traveled to Green Bay and pulled off a stunning 30-22 upset en route to a 4-1 start.  But they sorta stumbled down the stretch, tying the Rams once and losing in OT a second time, getting starched by the Seahawks and nearly coughing up a 28-point lead to the Pats.  The Pack fared a bit better, winning four straight up to that Week 17 loss, although in their toughest post-bye-week test, they got crushed 38-10 by the Giants.  But with a few key Niners a bit banged up, the biggest question is at quarterback, where second-year player Colin Kaepernick makes his first playoff start.  The man across the field from him, well, you could say he’s done this before.  Advantage Rodgers and Green Bay, 32-23

Seahawks @ Falcons, January 13th: Assuming they beat the Redskins in the Wild Card round, Seattle will have vanquished every NFC playoff team this season–except for the Falcons, the lone great unknown.  And while Washington was barely batting above .500 at home this season, the Falcons only lost once in their roost–a meaningless Week 17 setback to Tampa.  Atlanta lives and dies by the pass, finishing fourth from the bottom in rushing, and while they give up a lotta yardage on defense (365.6 ypg), they finished fifth in fewest points allowed (18.7 per).  Of course, the Hawks led the league in the latter category, while surrendering a meagre 203 passing yards per game as the NFL’s sixth stingiest team in that regard.  While not evenly matched, the two teams appear to match up well on paper.  But again, it might come down to the quarterbacks.  As much as Russell Wilson has improved this year, he put up much-better numbers at home than on the road.  And while Matt Ryan has never won, or even been to, the big one, he had a steady season of 4,700 yards and 32 TD passes.  Given the homefield advantage over a team that lost to Miami and Detroit on the road, I think he and the Falcons will prevail, handing Seattle another close, disappointing loss.  Falcons 28, Seahawks 24. (We’ll get ‘em next year, though!)

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Packers @ Falcons, January 20th: Last year, I had the Pack beating the Saints in a high-scoring, 52-48 affair.  As it turns out, the Pack only put up 20 points–and lost by 17 to the Giants.  But this year’s NFC championship has all the makings of another shootout, as the fifth- and seventh-highest scoring offenses do battle, led by the sixth- and ninth-ranked passing attacks.  Matt Ryan may have put up some 325 more yards than his Green Bay counterpart on the season, but I hafta give the edge to Rodgers’ scintillating 39-8 TD-to-INT ratio.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean Green Bay wins, mind you.  In a game like this, you gotta look for an X-Factor, and I’m looking at Falcons TE Tony Gonzalez.  The all-time leading pass catcher at his position, he’s pretty certain that this will be his last season.  Remember when the Steelers went into “Win it for Bettis” mode in the ’05 playoffs?  As a Seahawks fan, I’d rather not–but I think the inspiration, if not the refs, will factor into this one.  Did I mention that Atlanta hasn’t lost a meaningful home game all year?  Falcons 37, Packers 32.

AFC

WILD CARD

Bengals @ Texans, January 5th: Oddly enough, these two teams met at the same stadium in the first round last year.  Circumstances were slightly different, however, as Houston was stuck with T.J. Yates at quarterback and they stumbled down the stretch with three straight losses–yet they went on to spank Cincy 31-10.  And while the Texans did struggle again this December, at least they’ve still got Matt Schaub.  But they’re also facing a better Bengals team in 2012, one that finished with back-to-back signature wins over Pittsburgh and Baltimore.  Thus, I am once again picking Cincy, hoping that this time, I’ll get it right.  Bengals 28, Texans 20.

Colts @ Ravens, January 6th: The Ravens are another team that backed its way into the playoffs, losing four of their last five games to playoff contenders Cincy, Denver, Washington and Pittsburgh (the Steelers ended up in seventh place).  While those other teams had to win down the stretch to get in, Baltimore did so by losing–though they still managed to capture the AFC’s most competitive division.  That said, the vaunted Baltimore defense took a step back towards the middle of the pack this year, giving up 351 total yards (17th) and 123 rushing yards (20th) per game.  On the other hand, you have the exciting young Colts, a team that parlayed a 2-14 finish a year ago into the number one pick, and have turned things all the way around to 11-5 under Andrew Luck.  The Stanford product didn’t have stellar statistics, with 23 TDs and 18 INTs and a 76.5 QB rating–but he did set a new rookie record for passing yards.  What’s more, he always seemed to find ways to win, leading his team to several dramatic victories (albeit over mediocre competition).  Against a team that’s hardly done anything but lose in December, I think Luck will add to his legacy.  Colts 27, Ravens 23.

SEMI-FINALS

Bengals @ Broncos, January 12th: Let’s face it, if Cincy makes it to this point, they’re probably just happy to be here.  This is a team that has had little in the way off playoff success since the days of Ickey Woods, Cris Collinsworth and Boomer Esiason.  And with their 22nd ranked offense (in yards per game), this year’s edition isn’t bound for postseason glory, either.  On the other side, you’ve got a Broncos team that put up the second-most points and fourth-most yards per game this season, all while giving up the third-fewest yards against both the run and the pass.  The top seed in the AFC has not been defeated since the first week of October, and their only three losses came to teams with a combined record of 37-11.  Cincinnati is simply not in that category.  Broncos 31, Bengals 10.

Colts @ Patriots, January 13th: Now, this should be a good one, The Chosen One against The Next Big Thing.  Or so CBS would have you believe.  The reality is that when Indy went down to Foxboro in Week 11, they got their asses handed to them, 59-24.  And forget about a fourth-quarter comeback–the Pats outscored Indy 35-7 in the second half!  As they showed in that game, the Colts’ 26th ranked defense simply can’t stop Tom Brady, while Luck finished 27-for-50 with three interceptions.  Like the Seahawks’ Russell Wilson, the Colts QB will walk away from 2012 with an impressive rookie record, but tis not the time for playoff domination just yet.  Patriots 35, Colts 14.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Patriots @ Broncos, January 20th: CBS scored the prime-time Sunday night slot for the AFC championship, and this here’s the reason why.  It doesn’t take a whole lotta hype to sell an audience on a matchup of the two highest-scoring teams in the NFL, particularly with Peyton Manning and Tom Brady at the helm.  But while the Broncos matched their offensive output with an almost-equally impressive defensive showing this season, the Patriots D gave up the fourth most passing yards in the league.  Uh-oh.  Does it even need to be mentioned that Manning had an MVP-caliber season, racking up 4,659 passing yards and 37 TDs?  I don’t think this game will be as ugly as, say, Patriots-Colts Week 11, but with the homefield advantage, methinks Denver will avenge its Week 5 setback.  Broncos 37, Patriots 24

SUPER BOWL XLVII

Broncos vs. Falcons @ New Orleans, February 3rd: Super Bowl 47, should things play out as I anticipated, would not be the first matchup between Denver and Atlanta in The Big Game.  Super Bowl XXXIII, way back in 1999, saw a Denver team quarterbacked by John Elway win its second straight championship over a Dirty Bird Atlanta squad whose tight end was a Canadian kid outta Kent State by the name of O.J. Santiago.  Now, Santiago’s career numbers of 1,041 yards and nine TDs would be considered a pretty good season for Tony Gonzalez, the current Atlanta TE and Jerome Bettis of Super Bowl XLVII.  But hey, the refs aren’t gonna screw Peyton Manning, are they?

In any case, they probably won’t have to.  With their high-powered offense and stifling defense, the 2012 Broncs could very well repeat Elway’s 34-19 butt-kicking of Atlanta in ’99, a game that was over by the time Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (remember when swing was back in?) took the stage at the half.  That one also featured another future Hall-of-Famer, record-holding tight end in Shannon Sharpe, although he was also on the winning side.  Of course, with his second-straight Super Bowl victory, Elway rode off into the sunset, but methinks Peyton probably has another one left in him.  So does Matt Ryan, perhaps, some day.  But not so for Tony G–unless the refs whistle Manning for a low block after he throws a pick.

(No, I will not ever get over that call.  I am taking it to my grave, along with “We want the ball, and we’re gonna score” and the ghostly spectre of Rick Mirer!)

Wait, where was I?  Oh yeah, Broncos 34, Falcons 19 for old time’s sake. Hey, it’s the other Manning who wins those close championship games–and his team’s not even in the playoffs…

UPDATE: 01/07: Well, my Wild Card predictions didn’t go so well.  I blew both AFC games, big time, and the Packers-Vikings wasn’t nearly as close as I predicted.  Of course, had I known that Christian Ponder wouldn’t play, I might have bumped up Green Bay’s margin of victory…  The only game I did get right was the Seahawks and Redskins.  As it turns out, I nailed Seattle’s final point total, but I gave six points too many to the Skins, calling it 24-20.  Oh well, I can live with that.  Interestingly enough, 24 turned out to be the magic number of the first round; three of the four winning teams scored exactly 24 points this weekend.  That’s quite the trifecta!

UPDATE 01/12: And with a field goal that barely squeaked past the upright in double overtime, my Super Bowl champions have been eliminated in their first playoff game.  Peyton Manning showed some flashes of brilliance, but he definitely didn’t look like a young Peyton Manning out there.  That loss-inducing pick was almost Tebowesque–except Tebow tends to complete that pass in overtime.  Anyways, I expect he’ll be fired up to give it another go next season, but on the other hand, after today’s performance Champ Bailey might wanna go ahead and announce his retirement.

Anyways, since I need to make a new Super Bowl prediction now, I gotta go with Ray Lewis 28, Tony Gonzalez 17 in the goodbye game… ;)