Category Archives: Hockey

Go Flames!

This just in: The Pittsburgh Penguins are Canada’s Team!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From 2004 to 2007, three different Canadian teams made it to the Stanley Cup finals–and lost.  Ditto for 2011, when the Vancouver Canucks blew a 3-0 series lead to hand the Cup to Boston, much to my delight.  Alas, every Canadian team not located in Toronto or Montreal has made the final in the past decade (not including the Jets, who rejoined the league last year).  But this year, Canadians from coast-to-coast won’t have that one team to rally behind… unless you count the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Of course, the Pens beat the only Canadian team that beat a Canadian team in the first round, and are thus directly responsible for dispatching Ottawa, who in turn beat Montreal.  Considering the Canucks’ annual choke-job and the Leafs’ epic collapse, you could say the Pens are to blame for blocking this country’s best shot at a Stanley Cup.  But hey, it’s not like there isn’t a bevy of Pittsburgh players who’ll be bringing the Cup home to Canada in the coming months…  starting with Captain Canada himself.  No, not this guy!

Say what you want about Sidney Crosby, but when he scored the gold-medal-winning goal in overtime to beat the States in the Vancouver Olympics, he forever etched himself in my–and most of the country’s–good books.  And thanks to a fortuitous deadline deal, he’s been reunited with Jarome Iginla, the greatest black hockey player of all-time, who also drew the gold-winning assist.  I’m pretty sure most of Calgary’s been cheering for the Penguins since the playoffs started.  Well, some of us might have been cheering for San Jose, too–until they swept Vancouver.  Now there’s really no need to support the Sharks. ;)

But while they’re the most notable Canadian nationals, Crosby and Iginla aren’t the only Canucks in Pittsburgh.  In fact, 15 of the 28 players listed on their roster hail from the land of Timbits and Kraft Dinner.  How Canadian are the Pens?  Put it this way: They traded a Staal for a Sutter.  Sure, Brandon might be be a second-generation, Son of Sutter, who was born while his dad (Brent) was playing on Long Island–but how many teams can claim ties to two Canadian hockey dynasties?  All they need is a Subban, and they’re practically the 11th province!

The Pens lineup also boasts the likes of Pascal Dupuis from Laval, Kris Letang from Montreal and the pride of Sorel-Tracy, backup goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury, who’s been doing a great job holding out a towel for Tomas Vokoun between periods.  Concurrently, Captain Crosby centres a line with Dupuis and Chris Kunitz, the pride of Regina, while Iginla’s been skating with Whitby native James Neal and Magnitogorsk’s own Evgeni Malkin.  OK, so Magnitogorsk is a mid-sized steeltown south of Russia’s Ural Mountains, but give ‘em a CFL team, and they’re basically Hamilton. ;)

In any case, the Pens will be facing off against Boston in the Eastern Conference final starting sometime late next week.  Hey, it’s not like anyone in the GTA is gonna be cheering for the Bruins, soooo…

GO PENS GO!  (GOLF LEAFS GOLF!)

About these ads

COMMENTS OF THE DAY: Start planning the funeral parade—Top 10 reactions to the Leafs loss

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In case you didn’t know, the Toronto Maple Leafs suffered a historic meltdown that was completely unprecedented in the wide, wide world of sports last night.  Suffice to say, there were plenty of unhappy Leafs fans (and players) on the interwebs today.  Here are 10 who made me chuckle:

10. The fix is in!  If the Leafs lost, it’s because the refs…

10

From: http://www.theprovince.com/sports/hockey/canucks-hockey/Bruins+Maple+Leafs+Playoff+ecstasy+slips+away/8379363/story.html

 

9. Joffrey Lupul’s ghost

9

From: https://twitter.com/JLupul/status/334341399434649600

 

8. Cry it out, bro.

8

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/2013/05/14/toronto_maple_leafs_top_10_hilariously_bitter_tweets.html (Click for more sad Leafs fans)

 

7. Sure, blame it on the wife…

7

From: http://sports.nationalpost.com/2013/05/13/leafs-endure-heartbreaking-collapse-in-game-7-overtime-loss-to-bruins/

 

6. Far worse than any Flames loss!

6

From: http://sports.nationalpost.com/2013/05/13/leafs-endure-heartbreaking-collapse-in-game-7-overtime-loss-to-bruins/

 

5. Well, at least it wasn’t Game of Thrones…

5

From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/05/14/toronto-leafs-fan-broken-tv.html

 

4. Even worse than McGuinty!

4

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/leafs/2013/05/14/toronto_maple_leafs_joffrey_lupul_that_hockey_game_will_haunt_me_until_the_day_i_die.html

 

3. Just like a deer through the windshield…

3

From: http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=423146

 

2. Baby Jesus remembers the Bruins’ last breakaway goal

2

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/the-day-after-where-do-the-leafs-go-from-here/article11906960/comments/

 

1. Golf Leafs Golf!

1

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/hockey/the-day-after-where-do-the-leafs-go-from-here/article11906960/comments/

Nope, still not a Leafs fan…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

On Friday, I was telling anyone who’d listen that the Leafs-Bruins series would end that night.  Of course, I was wrong.  Though the Leafs barely hung on in the third period, they still managed to hold off the Bruins to extend the series.  And while neither side brought their A game in Game 6, the Leafs were definitely the better team.  So they came back from 3-1 down to force Game 7.  Congrats.  But you’re not gonna see me out there freezing my balls off in Maple Leaf Square or anything.

The fact of the matter is that I’m just not a Leafs fan.  I couldn’t possibly stand around outside surrounded by Blue and White with those guys holding up replica Cups without resisting the urge to chant “19-67!  19-67!” in a highly non-complimentary fashion.  And I’d probably be the only one cheering after that epic collapse from up 4-1 in the third period to losing in OT.  Well, maybe not cheering, but certainly not in break stuff mode, anyways.

Of course, as a Flames fan, I haven’t had a team to cheer for in the playoffs in a little while.  And while I can kinda relate to the way the Leafs played in Game 5–score two goals and hold on for dear life is classic Calgary Flames hockey–I can’t say they’ve won me over with tonight’s epic collapse.  This is the first time the Leafs have even made the playoffs since I’ve been living here, and I moved to Toronto in 2005.  Considering that I’m a Flames fan first and foremost from October until early April, a team with such a track record of post-lockout postseason non-participation is not going to earn my support.  Even if I live here.  But hey, maybe if they make it past the second round, one of these decades…

Mind you, I’ll be joining Leafs fans in cheering against Ottawa in Round 2.  Not that I have anything against the Sens, or the nation’s capital–hell, my folks live 10 minutes from the rink–but I’m wearing my brand-new Iginla jersey in support of the greatest black hockey player of all time.  (PK Subban?  Come talk to me in 10 years!)  Iggy’s on a mission from the hockey gods to take home the Cup, which is precisely why he vetoed that trade with Boston.  Cuz clearly, the Bruins aren’t going all the way this year.  I mean, they can’t possibly expect to play that poorly for the better part of three games and escape with a series win against any team that’s won the Cup since 1967. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: A Mexican’s suggestion to improve the Canucks’ playoff fortunes…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.vancouversun.com/sports/hockey/vancouver-canucks/Vancouver+Canucks+Stanley+dreams+left/8357424/story.html

As the Vancouver Canucks, Canada’s (Least-Favourite) Team, deal with another disappointing early playoff exit—a first-round sweep, no less—fans and columnists are trying to figure out what needs to be done to make the team stop choking.  Fire the coach, fire the GM, fire the coach and the GM—or maybe just ban blowfish?  Then again, they could always do things the “Mexican way,” as this Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca resident suggests:

cotd59

I dunno guy, but construction companies have been doing it the Mexican Way in Montreal for years—and now most of these guys are out of a job and/or going to jail.  But hey, if the Guy Carbonneau Commission leads to the Canucks resigning from the NHL, I’d be all for it! :D

Somewhere in St. Louis, Darryl Sutter sheds a single tear…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Calgary Herald is reporting that “Hockey Alberta has decided to ban body checking at the Peewee level beginning next season.”  As of next year, all Alberta boys under the age of 13 will be penalized for throwing their weight around.  Methinks a certain ex-Calgary coach/GM can’t be too pleased with this announcement.

As the Flames’ general manager, Sutter stocked the club with rough-and-tumble Alberta-born players who couldn’t score to save their lives (case in point: Jay Bouwmeester), but weren’t afraid to lay out a big hit (OK, Bouwmeester might be a bad example here).  Despite a complete and utter lack of success in between, Sutter’s style of play led the team to a Cup appearance in ’04, and found further success last year with the more Euro-centric L.A. Kings, setting up a crucial conversation between Sutter and Obama on the future of the Keystone XL pipeline (which reportedly didn’t happen).  But while Barack might not have been willing to listen to the former Flames coach, perhaps Hockey Alberta might be more receptive to the second-last man to lead one of its teams to a Stanley Cup final?

Then again, as a noted concussion specialist told the Herald, “Recent evidence suggests removing body checking at the Peewee level will reduce players’ risk of concussions and injuries overall by more than three-fold.”  Hmm, perhaps if these rules were in place back in Darryl’s day, he might still be able to string a coherent sentence together…

I just bought a new Iginla jersey today…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

001

Well, it’s new to me, anyways.  I got a hot tip that vintage Iggy jerseys were half off at the Hockey Hall of Fame: 100 bucks plus HST.  And since the last Flames jersey I bought was Dion Phaneuf’s, a couple months before they traded him to Toronto, I figured it was time to update my look.  Cuz while my Phaneuf jersey gets me heckled at the ACC, an old-school Iginla sweater certainly commands respect.  Funny thing, I could’ve bought his jersey on Fan Appreciation Night 2000, but I opted for Marc Savard instead.  So this time, I’m buying a Flames sweater after they traded its wearer, not before.  Uh, I guess that’s progress?

That being said, I am definitely cheering for Pittsburgh in the playoffs this year.  Since the Pitt-NYI series coincides with the Habs and Sens, I’ve been flipping back and forth at stoppages and commercial breaks.  I hafta say the former has been much more fun to watch–full-line brawl in Ottawa notwithstanding.  Iggy’s been looking good on a line with Sid the Kid, and I hope he helps ‘em win the Cup this year, to make up for the one he was cheated out of in ’04.  (Don’t even get me started…)

Of course, it’ll be bittersweet seeing him raise the Cup in another team’s sweater.  Let’s just say I won’t put it on my mantle next to my Lanny McDonald photo.  But it’s not like I’ve been able to cheer for the Flames in the postseason this decade, so I’ll still be happy for him.  And on that note, I might be adding an (insert number-one pick) jersey to my collection in a couple months.  Here’s hoping Calgary’s highest draft selection since Dion Phaneuf will be their best first-round pick since Phaneuf…  and that he doesn’t join Dion on the Leafs anytime soon. :(

GOLF FLAMES GOLF!!!

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Pieu

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Pieu: A long piece of wood, metal or concrete used to reinforce a building, ie pillar, post.

As seen in: « Gracieuseté d’un employé du chantier de construction, une rondelle officielle de hockey à l’effigie du Canadien Montréal se trouve dans l’un des pieux du futur nouvel amphithéâtre, ce qui a provoqué de vives réactions, hier, plusieurs «craignant le mauvais sort». »

(Translation: “Courtesy of a construction-site worker, an official Montreal Canadiens hockey puck was placed in one of the pillars of the future new amphitheatre, which provoked strong reactions yesterday, several fearing bad luck.”)

http://www.journaldequebec.com/2013/04/30/une-rondelle-du-ch-dans-les-fondations-de-lamphitheatre-de-quebec

COMMENT OF THE DAY: “Flatulent dreckfest!?” Burkie, is that you?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/leafs/2013/04/26/skyhigh_cost_of_attending_leaf_game_squeezing_out_the_common_man_kelly.html

With the Leafs’ first playoff appearance in nine years comes a 70-per-cent postseason ticket-price increase, jacking up lower-bowl seats into the $315-$800 range.  Cue up another round of whining from the “real fans.”

cotd426

Now, I don’t really think a disgruntled former MLSE employee who values truculence and pugnacity, and once told an anonymous group of NHLers to defecate in their chapeaux, really wrote the above comment—but I also can’t remember the last time I saw “flatulent dreckfest” used in a sentence. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: I dunno guy, but I don’t think Chinese property speculators give a yuan about a heated hockey rivalry…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/story/2013/04/22/calgary-jarome-iginla-mls-flames-house.html

Well, that didn’t take long.  The puck hasn’t even dropped on the postseason, but Jarome Iginla’s Calgary abode has already hit the open market.  The stylish, custom-built luxury home in the city’s Southwest can be yours for a cool $4-million, effectively quashing the notion that Iggy’s heading back to Cowtown in free agency.  Not sure if he already plans on putting up roots in Pittsburgh, though; what’s he gonna do, buy a nice property on Mt Washington and take the Monogahela Incline to work?  (Yeah, I’ve been to Pittsburgh before…)

In any case, I can sorta see why my favourite black person on earth doesn’t wanna spend his summers in Calgary.  As one CBC commenter pointed out, the city only gets two weeks of warm weather, otherwise known as the Calgary Stampede.  And yes, it has snowed in every single month of the year at least once before.  Nevertheless, it’s still sad to see Iginla go—but that being said, if I had four mil to spare, I would totally jump on that sweet pad!  After all, it’s gotta be worth at least twice as much in Vancouver (or Toronto, for that matter)!

cotd423

Then again, I could never picture Iginla playing for the Canucks.  After all, he says he wants to end his career with a Stanley Cup-winning team—not a team who loses back-to-back-to-back-to-back Cup-clinching games then proceeds to watch its fans destroy the city. ;)

I take it that Kevin Lowe’s Country Bunker plays both kinds of music…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

There were shades of The Blues Brothers in a recent Edmonton Oilers press conference, where the team re-introduced Craig MacTavish as its general manager.  Oilers president Kevin Lowe, he of the six Stanley Cups—and don’t you forget it—told the assembled media “We have two types of fans. We have paying customers and we have people that watch the game that we still care about.”  But not enough, apparently.  Also, Nickelback cover bands take note: If you play during the intermission of an Oilers game, Kevin Lowe expects you to pay for all the beers you drink. ;)

Suffice to say, fans in the since-rebranded City of Champions were not pleased.  As the Edmonton Journal reports, “There’s no doubt he offended many, including plenty who attended the Oilers game on Tuesday night, a 5-3 loss to the Minnesota Wild, Edmonton’s six (sic) straight defeat.”  The game, while initially sold out, saw several spectators attempt to beat the rush once their luck ran out.  As per the Journal, “many of them … departed en masse as soon as the winning 50/50 number was announced midway through the third period. ”  Which makes me wonder how many Edmontonians would show up if they had a 50/50 draw at a broomball tournament…

After watching his team sink in the standings, and be booed off the ice in its own building, Lowe was forced to issue a video apology, stating that he cares about all Oilers fans—except maybe Steve Smith—before adding, “And lastly I’ll say, there’s one other guy, I believe, in hockey today that’s still working in the game that has won more Stanley Cups than me.”  Because in Kevin Lowe’s Hockey Bunker, Larry Robinson, Jacques Lemaire and Scotty Bowman are no longer working in the game.  Something tells me he might wanna change that broken record…

Hey, how many first-overall picks does it take to make the playoffs?  More than three—if they play for Edmonton. ;)