I must say that I’m not really a Bills fan. Sure, I’ve accepted the fact that their games will always be shown on TV in Toronto (when they’re not blacked out in Buffalo, that is), but I usually spend the 1 o’clock slate flipping between the 3-4 games on digital cable–unless Seattle’s playing an East Coast opponent, of course. That said, I saw enough of the Bills-Texans game yesterday to know that Buffalo fans didn’t have too much to celebrate.
Now, since I bought the Bills in Toronto Series four-game ticket pack back in ’07, I receive various emails from the team, including the Daily Buffalo Bills Buzz newsletter. I suppose I could always unsubscribe, but hey, it helps me keep tabs on the team I cheer for once a year when they play at Rogers Centre–although this year will be different, for obvious reasons. Alas, while the articles are mildly informative, and off-the-field reporter Hannah Buehler is smokin’ hot, in a girl-next-door kinda way, what keeps me coming back for more are the comments from disgruntled Bills fans on every writeup.
Now, I suppose I can see the source of their frustration. This is a franchise that hasn’t made the playoffs since ’99, when they benched the best CFL player of all-time for some bum named Rob Johnson–who, to his credit, put up some pretty big numbers against somebody’s third-string defense in Week 17–and proceeded to lose on a trick-play kick-return in the dying seconds. In a way, they’re kinda like the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NFL; y’know, if the Leafs had actually made it to the Stanley Cup final and lost in ’93–as well as ’91, ’92 and ’94. Okay, maybe a (slightly) more realistic scenario would be if the Seattle Seahawks had gotten screwed not just in Super Bowl 40, but Super Bowls 41, 42 and 43 as well–then proceeded to miss the playoffs for the entire following decade. Ouch!
While I can’t quite say I feel their pain, there’s no denying that Bills fans are pretty fed up with their franchise. These are actual comments posted on the Bills Buzz following the loss to Houston. And yes, these people are all (supposedly) Buffalo Bills fans…
Naturally, you’re bound to get criticism of the head coach…
(Holy run-on sentence, Batman!)
…as well as a hearty helping of vitriol (along with some not-so-creative nicknames) bestowed upon the starting quarterback:
Even when the rare positive comment appears, it’s quickly met with a snide remark:
Meanwhile, you also get much putative purchasing of billboards and extensive Christmas wishlists:
(Hey, I always wondered what happened to Big Shot Bob!!!)
Alas, it seems there must not be any decent furniture stores in Buffalo (or Jacksonville, for that matter), because “ALL OUR COUCHES SUCK”
Again, the following is coming from a Bills fan. At least, he must be, cuz it says here he’s a Top Commenter:
Another common theme: this is not a real NFL team (or some variation thereof)…
I gotta say, the switch to Facebook commenting before the start of this season has added a whole ‘nother level to these comments. For instance, the believer that the rapture is coming before the Bills turn things around seems so much more credible once you see it’s a guy with a bandana and a porn stache who lists his profession as “MAFIA WARS.” On the other hand, this comment is kinda scary, considering the poster’s profession:
(Aaaaand that’s why you don’t put your kids in public schools!)
This guy plays the “us commenters know better than the coaches” card, paired with “these guys make too much money, and I’d do better if you paid me!” Uh, Go Fish?
Meanwhile, the ghost of this guy’s grandmother could beat the Bills DBs!
(And yes, there are 30 more comments where that came from!)
I think this one pretty much sums it up:
(The Bills aren’t just bad, they’re Major League II bad!)
Mind you, this week’s collection of comments seems pretty tame compared to a couple weeks back, when they blew that game against the Titans. There were definitely a few fightin’ words exchanged afterwards, to put it mildly!