Category Archives: Comment/Post of the Day

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Wait, did Gene Simmons die or something?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

RIP Jeff Hanneman.  The Slayer shredder, who had contracted necrotizing fasciitis from a spider bite, passed away yesterday before he could write a ripping rager about necrotizing fasciitis.  Cuz that had to be a topic tailor-made for Slayer—if not Cannibal Corpse or Carcass.  (Flesh-Eaten Back to Life?)

Anyways, tributes have been pouring in from across the web, including the National Post, where somebody thinks Slayer is the most recognizable brand in popular music.  No, really.

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Don’t get me wrong, I like Slayer as much as the next guy who doesn’t have their logo carved into his skin, but that assertion is pretty far-fetched.  Now, if buddy wrote “one of, if not the, most recognizable brands in heavy metal,” he’d have a valid point—even though I’d give the edge to Iron Maiden.  (I just so happen to be wearing a Maiden t-shirt as I type this.)  But man, when I first read that comment, I coulda sworn he was talking about KISS…

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COMMENT OF THE DAY: Not even in Winnipeg?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://o.canada.com/2013/05/02/the-joint-head-shop-in-winnipeg-raided-for-copyright-violation/

The RCMP and Winnipeg Police joined forces to bust a head shop yesterday—but not for what you think.  Apparently, The Joint had been selling unlicensed merchandise, ie pipes and bongs, depicting characters from Star Wars, Angry Birds, Looney Tunes and The Simpsons.  So, the fuzz busted ‘em for copyright violations—then they were all too proud to display their seized wares at a press conference, as per the Winnipeg Free Press’ Mike on Crime:

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(Hey maaaan, even the pigs gotta reeeelax, eh?)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Third-party manager? You talkin’ bout Trudeau?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/ottawa-loses-track-of-31-billion-meant-to-fight-terror/article11629983/

Apparently, the federal government seems to have misplaced 3.1-billion dollars.  An Auditor General’s report reveals that only $9.8-billion out of $12.9-billion allocated towards fighting terror can be traced, while the remainder appears to have vanished into thin air.  Because when the Government of Canada starts mismanaging funds like a remote reservation, one can’t help but notice the irony:

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(Then again, I’m sure that Vic Toews is paying his babysitter to look after things, so we’re all saved!!!)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: I dunno guy, but I don’t think Bob Barker and prison rape belong in the same sentence…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://now.msn.com/inmates-rate-prisons-on-yelp

Apparently, inmates in American prisons are now rating their facilities on Yelp.  Because who wouldn’t wanna stay at a five-star prison?  Well, this wrongfully-accused ex-detainee, for one…

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Methinks that rape might be too strong a word in relation to ramen noodles—especially when the next sentence refers to actual rape.  Surely, you’d think someone who spent that much time in the joint wouldn’t use that word lightly.

COMMENT OF THE DAY: “Flatulent dreckfest!?” Burkie, is that you?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/leafs/2013/04/26/skyhigh_cost_of_attending_leaf_game_squeezing_out_the_common_man_kelly.html

With the Leafs’ first playoff appearance in nine years comes a 70-per-cent postseason ticket-price increase, jacking up lower-bowl seats into the $315-$800 range.  Cue up another round of whining from the “real fans.”

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Now, I don’t really think a disgruntled former MLSE employee who values truculence and pugnacity, and once told an anonymous group of NHLers to defecate in their chapeaux, really wrote the above comment—but I also can’t remember the last time I saw “flatulent dreckfest” used in a sentence. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: George W. Bush Library? That’s a children’s bookstore, right?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/apr/25/george-w-bush-presidential-library-dedication-live

The George W. Bush Presidential Library opened today to much fanfare in Dallas, with five former presidents in attendance, including Dubya himself.  But what would the man need a library for—aside from his “Baba O’Reily” record and a projector screening his cameo appearance in Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay?  Readers of The Guardian offer a few more suggestions:

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On a related note, one can only assume that the library cafeteria serves freedom fries…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Sunken pirate ship? Well, she does have a lotta booty…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-gwyneth-paltrow-worlds-most-beautiful-woman-people-20130424,0,4936933.story

In their annual push to boost newsstand sales, People magazine has named Gwyneth Paltrow this year’s “World’s Most Beautiful Woman.”  Suffice to say this was not a popular choice, particularly amongst readers of the L.A. Times.  And the award for World’s Most Ridiculous Reaction goes to:

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I gotta say, I laughed at the Kardashian bit, but that last sentence?  Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: I dunno guy, but I don’t think Chinese property speculators give a yuan about a heated hockey rivalry…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/story/2013/04/22/calgary-jarome-iginla-mls-flames-house.html

Well, that didn’t take long.  The puck hasn’t even dropped on the postseason, but Jarome Iginla’s Calgary abode has already hit the open market.  The stylish, custom-built luxury home in the city’s Southwest can be yours for a cool $4-million, effectively quashing the notion that Iggy’s heading back to Cowtown in free agency.  Not sure if he already plans on putting up roots in Pittsburgh, though; what’s he gonna do, buy a nice property on Mt Washington and take the Monogahela Incline to work?  (Yeah, I’ve been to Pittsburgh before…)

In any case, I can sorta see why my favourite black person on earth doesn’t wanna spend his summers in Calgary.  As one CBC commenter pointed out, the city only gets two weeks of warm weather, otherwise known as the Calgary Stampede.  And yes, it has snowed in every single month of the year at least once before.  Nevertheless, it’s still sad to see Iginla go—but that being said, if I had four mil to spare, I would totally jump on that sweet pad!  After all, it’s gotta be worth at least twice as much in Vancouver (or Toronto, for that matter)!

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Then again, I could never picture Iginla playing for the Canucks.  After all, he says he wants to end his career with a Stanley Cup-winning team—not a team who loses back-to-back-to-back-to-back Cup-clinching games then proceeds to watch its fans destroy the city. ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: First they implement border-crossing fees, then they become a communist dictatorship…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/proposed-u-s-border-crossing-fee-for-canadians-draws-anger-1.1248504

The United States is considering implementing a fee for cross-border travel at both its northern and southern borders.  While this has several Canadians—not to mention Buffalonian retailers—up in arms, a small fee to cross the border probably isn’t that big a deal…  Unless you’re this guy:

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Sooo, if the U.S. actually goes all the way in becoming North Korea, does that mean it would hafta nuke itself? ;)

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Hey, that’s not in iambic pentameter!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/04/19/ontario-possible-tornado-shelburne.html

An EF0 tornado reportedly hit a small community northwest of Toronto yesterday, causing property damage, loss of power and provoking this pathetic piece of poetry:

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(Believe it or not, someone actually took Darryl up on his offer and corrected his text.  And here I thought the teachers were no longer on strike…)