Ensevelir: To make something disappear by covering it, ie to bury.
As seen in: « Un homme a été retrouvé mort enseveli sous la terre alors qu’il effectuait des travaux près de son domicile, sur le boulevard Duchesne à Yamachiche, mardi en fin d’après-midi. »
(Translation: “A man was found dead and buried underground while he was working near his home on Duchesne Boulevard in Yamachiche late Tuesday afternoon.”)
As I’ve said before (around this time last year), Schmidt is by far the biggest scene-stealer in New Girl, the Zooey Deschanel sitcom on FOX. With Nick a leading contestant for The Biggest Loser–if it wasn’t about losing weight–and Winston being so unmemorable and non-descript that he rarely gets a major story line, the only contest is between Schmidt and CeCe. Mind you, the latter is getting married in the season finale…
But when it comes to the male leads, it seems that Max Greenfield is the only one who’s really flexing his acting chops. I mean, the guy can’t really be as big a douchebag off-screen as he is as Schmidt, right? But lately, the writers have been trying to unSchmidt everybody’s favourite Jewish yuppie douchebag, much to my dismay.
It all started with CeCe’s wedding announcement, when Schmidt decided to meet up with his fat college girlfriend, who somehow also lives in L.A. (didn’t he go to Syracuse?) and is still quite chubby. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the Fat Schmidt flashbacks with his sidekick Stoner Hippy Nick–the bunkbed sex scene was particularly amusing. But turning the one true, discernible male character on the show into another fat, poor schlub like the rest of ‘em, that’s just not cool. Here’s hoping that Merritt Wever only has a guest-star contract, and that Elizabeth isn’t about to become a fixture on the show.
Put it this way: If Schmidt shows up to CeCe’s wedding in a sweatshirt, I’m boycotting Season 3.
In case you didn’t know, the Toronto Maple Leafs suffered a historic meltdown that was completely unprecedented in the wide, wide world of sports last night. Suffice to say, there were plenty of unhappy Leafs fans (and players) on the interwebs today. Here are 10 who made me chuckle:
10. The fix is in! If the Leafs lost, it’s because the refs…
9. Joffrey Lupul’s ghost
From: https://twitter.com/JLupul/status/334341399434649600
8. Cry it out, bro.
From: http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/2013/05/14/toronto_maple_leafs_top_10_hilariously_bitter_tweets.html (Click for more sad Leafs fans)
7. Sure, blame it on the wife…
6. Far worse than any Flames loss!
5. Well, at least it wasn’t Game of Thrones…
From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/05/14/toronto-leafs-fan-broken-tv.html
4. Even worse than McGuinty!
3. Just like a deer through the windshield…
From: http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=423146
2. Baby Jesus remembers the Bruins’ last breakaway goal
1. Golf Leafs Golf!
The Toronto Sun is reporting that “A Brampton realtor has been charged with breaking and entering homes and stealing jewellery.” Which might be the first time a realtor has personally subtracted from a home’s value. “According to a Halton Police news release, Shalinder Kapoor, 38, was arrested Monday ‘without incident’ and ‘several pieces of stolen jewellery’ were found after a search of his vehicle” the Sun reports.
Word has it Kapoor entered the home under the guise of showing it to a potential buyer. Perhaps he meant Harold the Jewellery Buyer? In any case, the Sun notes that “He faces two charges of break-and-enter and theft.” And zero referrals from Toronto Sun readers.
You can’t live here—it’s bat country! The National Post is reporting that a Saskatoon bachelor apartment has turned into an above-ground Batcave, with rodents the size of Doug Flutie. As displaced tenant Christina Abbott puts it, “With their wings spread out, they’re maybe about nine inches. They’re about the size of a deck of cards when they’re huddled up. They look like Buffalo Bills quarterback bats.” At least, I’m assuming she’s referring to Flutie, and not current Bills rookie QB E.J. Manuel, who’s six-foot-five. I think he might even be bigger than Bruce Wayne…
Meanwhile in Utah, the Mormon enclave whose state flag actually has a beehive on it, a beekeeper needed 10 hours to remove some 80,000 bees from a couple’s bedroom. As ABC News reports, “Though quiet, the bees had built a virtual village behind the Judd’s bedroom wall, totaling between 70,000 and 80,000 in number, according to [the beekeeper’s] estimate.” These poor folks apparently had moved in just four months prior. Aaaaand that’s why you don’t buy your house on Craigslist.
Arrondissement: An administrative subdivision of a large city. These are commonly seen in France (ie Paris) as well as in Montreal.
As seen in: « La Coalition avenir Québec (CAQ) propose un nouveau modèle de gouvernance pour la Ville de Montréal, qui comprendrait moins d’arrondissements et réduirait de près de la moitié le nombre de conseillers municipaux. »
(Translation: “The Coalition avenir Québec (CAQ) is proposing a new model of governance for the City of Montreal, which would include fewer subdivisions and would reduce the number of municipal councilors almost by half.”)
On Friday, I was telling anyone who’d listen that the Leafs-Bruins series would end that night. Of course, I was wrong. Though the Leafs barely hung on in the third period, they still managed to hold off the Bruins to extend the series. And while neither side brought their A game in Game 6, the Leafs were definitely the better team. So they came back from 3-1 down to force Game 7. Congrats. But you’re not gonna see me out there freezing my balls off in Maple Leaf Square or anything.
The fact of the matter is that I’m just not a Leafs fan. I couldn’t possibly stand around outside surrounded by Blue and White with those guys holding up replica Cups without resisting the urge to chant “19-67! 19-67!” in a highly non-complimentary fashion. And I’d probably be the only one cheering after that epic collapse from up 4-1 in the third period to losing in OT. Well, maybe not cheering, but certainly not in break stuff mode, anyways.
Of course, as a Flames fan, I haven’t had a team to cheer for in the playoffs in a little while. And while I can kinda relate to the way the Leafs played in Game 5–score two goals and hold on for dear life is classic Calgary Flames hockey–I can’t say they’ve won me over with tonight’s epic collapse. This is the first time the Leafs have even made the playoffs since I’ve been living here, and I moved to Toronto in 2005. Considering that I’m a Flames fan first and foremost from October until early April, a team with such a track record of post-lockout postseason non-participation is not going to earn my support. Even if I live here. But hey, maybe if they make it past the second round, one of these decades…
Mind you, I’ll be joining Leafs fans in cheering against Ottawa in Round 2. Not that I have anything against the Sens, or the nation’s capital–hell, my folks live 10 minutes from the rink–but I’m wearing my brand-new Iginla jersey in support of the greatest black hockey player of all time. (PK Subban? Come talk to me in 10 years!) Iggy’s on a mission from the hockey gods to take home the Cup, which is precisely why he vetoed that trade with Boston. Cuz clearly, the Bruins aren’t going all the way this year. I mean, they can’t possibly expect to play that poorly for the better part of three games and escape with a series win against any team that’s won the Cup since 1967. 
05/12/13 PLAYLIST
Red Giant – Herds of Something Else (Dysfunctional Majesty) 5:39
Seven Sisters of Sleep – CCEC (self-titled) 3:03
U.D.O. – Renegade (Rev-Raptor) 3:29
Royal Thunder – Minus (CVI) 2:10
Biipiigwan – Vegemite (God’s Hooks) 2:58
Discharge – They Lie, You Die (War is Hell) 2:59
Place of Skulls – Though He Slay Me (As a Dog Returns) 4:53
Alunah – Dance of Dionysus (Call of Avernus) 3:16
Dixie Witch – The High Deal (Let It Roll) 4:32
Discharge – State Violence State Control (War is Hell) 2:11
Pelican – Parasite Colony (Ataraxia/Teraxis) 4:42
Rabbits – We and Zoo (Bites Rites) 3:58
Astrosoniq – Bloom (Quadrant) 6:34
Weedeater – Turkey Warlock (Jason… The Dragon) 3:03
Morkobot – Obrom (Morbo) 3:54
Godstopper – Bent (What Matters) 4:57
Ichabod – Baba Yaga (Dreamscapes from Dead Space) 5:55
Kowloon Walled City – 50s Dad (Container Ships) 3:24
Orange Goblin – A Eulogy to the Damned (A Eulogy for the Damned) 7:17
Red Giant – Million Point Buck (Dysfunctional Majesty) 5:47
Ol’ Time Moonshine – Devil, Doctor Demonseed (The Demon Haunted World EP) 5:27
Grime – Burning Down the Cross (Deteriorate) 3:57
Wight – Wight Weedy Wight (Wight Weedy Wight) 11:39
Sons of OTIS – Never in My Life (Seismic) 4:55
General Lee – Medusa Howls with Wolves (Raiders of the Evil Eye) 4:07
From: http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2020969103_potcarbonxml.html
Now here’s a problem I wish we had. Washington, one of two states to legalize marijuana, is now concerned about the carbon footprint created by indoor grow-ops. Apparently, for the amount of energy used to produce just one joint, you could have 18 pints of beer instead. But I’d still hope the government-grown weed might be slightly cheaper than 8.5 litres of booze…
On the other hand, certain Seattle city councilors are concerned about pot-trucks being hijacked somewhere outside of Tacoma:
Hmm, I wonder if the Washington justice department has considered what penalty it might impose on the theft of legal weed. Now that would surely make a judge’s head spin!
The Associated Press is reporting that “Years of progress fighting cholesterol might have stalled with the recession, says a huge study from one of the largest health laboratories in the U.S.” Because when times are tight, that dollar menu at McDonald’s sure seems awfully tempting.
According to the Quest Diagnostics study, LDL cholesterol levels, which declined 13 per cent from 2001 to 2008, have started trending upwards again. “The Great Recession began about the same time,” study author Harvey Kaufman told the AP, which also noted “He wonders if higher unemployment and financial stress affected medication use, diet or other factors to explain the findings.” Apparently, when you lose your job, life-saving heart-disease medication is the first thing you cut back on—at least in the States, where you can’t get a reasonably-priced check-up without health insurance.
Then again, the study does have its detractors. As Dr. Donna Arnett, president of the American Heart Association told the AP, “This kind of study isn’t representative of the entire population and could merely reflect that healthier people skipped cholesterol tests during tight financial times,” cuz without health insurance, even those cholesterol tests can be expensive. At least I’d assume so. We don’t seem to have that problem up here in Canada…
