Last night marked a major turning point in the US presidential election, as Governor Mitt Romney secured a rock-star endorsement that is sure to put him over the top—the one, the only, the urine-drinker, Meat Loaf!  The Bat Out of Hell (Part IV) was quick to sing the praises of the Romney-Ryan ticket, defiantly telling a crowd in Defiance, Ohio, “Paul Ryan has not pushed me off the cliff in a wheelchair” and adding that only Romney could stop the Cold War.  

“The other night when President Barack Obama, God bless him, said to Mitt Romney, ‘The Cold War is over.’ I have never heard such a thing in my life.  There is one man who will stand tall in this country and fight the storm and bring the United States back to what it should be — Gov. Mitt Romney!” he said.  It seems that Meat, whose magnum opus finally cracked the top 10 in 1981 after a couple years on the charts, has been frozen in time ever since.

Romney, for one, could have been more thrilled with his ringing endorsement.  “Was it not just amazing to have Big & Rich performing, and then Meat Loaf? I mean Meat Loaf was here, can you believe it?” he asked his partisan supporters.  Some people say he could be heard muttering under his breath “At least he didn’t bring an empty chair on stage, the fat Boone”—but hey, at least he didn’t call him a bullshitter…

On a side note, Meat Loaf’s endorsement comes the same day that “Bat Out of Hell” was named as one of the “Top 5 Tracks that are better than sex” by music service Spotify.  Word has it the song was a popular choice amongst respondents over 65 who haven’t had sex since 1977—a key Romney demographic.