In Montreal, they don’t mind if you touch the dancers.  In fact, I have personally witnessed a performer at Club Supersexe remove a $20 bill from the mouth of a Saskatchewan Roughriders fan with her bare breasts.  (His kids probably went hungry that week.)  But here in The Big Smoke, “The current bylaw bans any physical contact between dancers and patrons, which entertainers complain outlaws benign contact and can actually make it more intimidating to file a complaint,” according to the Toronto Star.  But never fear, strippers, City Hall is (possibly) to the rescue!

That said, neither whores nor fornicators will likely rejoice over the new legislation, which “would prohibit contact with ‘breasts, buttocks, genital, public, anal and perineal areas’” as detailed, apparently quite vividly, in an 84-page report.  I’m sure that long list of prohibited activities must make for some salacious reading, as I can’t see how else 84 pages would be required to describe a motion that can be summed up in one sentence, but hey, your tax dollars hard at work, right?

Interestingly enough, Mississauga is the only major city in Ontario that currently lets you shake hands with a stripper.  If that isn’t a reason to go the extra mile to the 905, I don’t know what is!  Mind you, in most cases, the current “no-touch” rules aren’t respected, to begin with.  After surveying adult entertainers, City Hall found that “92 per cent said the current no-touch provisions do not prevent unwanted touching.”  I’m guessing at least a few of them are getting more than a kiss good-night…