A 480-pound man on death row in Ohio is appealing his upcoming execution, arguing that he’s too fat too die, the Associated Press reports.  Ronald Post, whose execution date is set for January 16, 2013, says “his weight, vein access, scar tissue, depression and other medical problems raise the likelihood his executioners would encounter severe problems,” with his lawyers adding that he might be too big for the gurney.  OK, so why not just give him a rope?

Well apparently, there is past precedent that you can’t hang fat people.  In 1994, a Washington judge determined that 400-pound convicted murderer Mitchell Rupe was too heavy to hang due to the risk of decapitation.  He ended up with life in prison, where he died of liver disease 12 years later.  But the state of Ohio doesn’t seem to have as much sympathy for the double-chinned.  Double-murderer Richard Cooey, himself a whopping 275 pounds (and only 5’7”), had also said he was too fat to die, but was nevertheless put to death in October 2008.  The last man to be executed in Ohio before Cooey, Christopher Newton, tipped the scales at 265.  It took almost two hours to hook the IVs into his veins, as per the AP.  Kinda makes you wonder what they’re putting in that prison food in the Buckeye State…

Of course, Post weighs almost as much as those other two killers combined.  The AP reports that “he’s been encouraged not to walk because he’s at risk for falling” and notes that he “used that prison’s exercise bike until it broke under his weight.”  It might take half a day to do the deed, but in any case, it seems likely that as of Jan 16^th, Ronald Post will cease to be, some 30 years after he shot and killed a hotel clerk.  Good riddance to fat rubbish, says I.