An Oak Ridge, Tennessee weapons-grade uranium facility, hailed as the “the Fort Knox of uranium,” was broken into last month by three activists, including an 82-year-old nun, Reuters reports.  And here’s the kicker: the guards didn’t even notice them until they “surrendered” on their way out.  They probably just could’ve walked off into the sunset had they known how easy it would be…

In a recent report, Gregory Friedman, Energy Department Witchfinder Inspector General, deplores the “troubling displays of ineptitude” that failed to detect Sister Chernobyl and her flock as they “painted slogans and threw what they said was human blood on the outer wall of a building where highly enriched uranium, a key component of nuclear bombs, is stored,” as per Reuters.  It has come to light that the security contractors, provided by WSI Oak Ridge, reacted in the following manner:

• The officer did not draw his weapon nor secure the area, instead letting the trespassers “roam about and retrieve various items from backpacks”
• Another officer hearing alarms did not look outside the building as he was supposed to, and also missed an image of the trespassers on a camera. A third officer turned off the alarm(!!!)
• Others heard the activists hammering on the building’s outside wall, but assumed the sound was from maintenance workers

Not to mention that “One camera that would have shown the break-in had been broken for about six months, and there was a backlog of repairs needed for security systems at the facility,” according to Reuters.  In any case, the officers have been relieved of their duties, and one would assume they’d have trouble finding work as WalMart security guards after this embarrassing incident.  Good golly, it’s a good thing those trespassers weren’t Iranians or some other terrorizers, huh?