Daily Archives: August 3, 2012

OLYMPIC BABES: Jonelle Filigno (Canada, soccer)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Jonelle Filigno

The 21-year-old striker from Mississauga came up big for Canada in the quarterfinals, scoring the first goal against the host British squad in the 12th minute with a brillant shot off a corner kick.  The Rutgers University star has been part of the national side since she was 17, earning a spot on the 2008 Olympic team.  Filigno, a two-time Canadian Under-20 Player of the Year, now has nine goals for Canada in international play, but there was certainly none bigger than the one she scored today.  Her team now faces the States in the semis on Monday–which happens to be a national holiday up here.  Though there isn’t an official name for the August Long Weekend across the country, if the Canadian squad manages to beat the States in three days’ time, I for one would vote to christen it Suck It USA Day. ;)

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Vermont farmer shows what not to do when the cops arrest you for pot possession…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

The Associated Press is reporting that a farmer in Northern Vermont, angry at his arrest for marijuana possession (and resisting arrest), decided to play the local fuzz a visit at the wheel of his John Deere.  When the cops, nestled in their “stout former bank building with windows closed and air conditioners humming” got a 911 call from a neighbour, they went outside to find that all of their vehicles parked outside, reportedly five marked cruisers, one unmarked car and a transport van, had been run over by a large tractor.  Because nothing runs (over) like a Deere, right?

Furthermore, the Orleans County sheriff’s deputies couldn’t chase after the vengeful crop-grower, because “We had nothing to pursue him with,” as Chief Deputy Philip Brooks so eloquently put it.  He was eventually caught by the city police in nearby Newport, and now Roger Pion faces “seven counts of felony unlawful mischief, one count of misdemeanour unlawful mischief, one count aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, one count of gross negligent operation, and one count of leaving the scene of an accident.”  Bail is set at $15,000—which is a pretty steep price to pay for a little weed.

Mind you, that’s nothing compared to the damages incurred by the sheriff’s department, which range between 250-300K for the loss of over half its fleet, not to mention that “the radios are ruined, the radar detectors, the cages in the cars … We’re going to have to get the Jaws of Life up here to pry the trunks open and see about the rifles and shotguns,” Sheriff Kirk Martin told the AP.  Let’s hope that they don’t get any calls for wild deer run amok in the town until they buy ‘em some new guns…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: If you read between the lines, it looks like this man is proud to have a small penis!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1234906–online-stalking-88-per-cent-of-jilted-lovers-admit-to-spying-on-their-exes

On the topic of “I can’t believe someone is actually getting a degree for this,” a University of Western Ontario Master’s student has found that 88 per cent of people stalk their exes on Facebook after they’ve broken up.  Then again, this study is hardly representative of the general population—out of 107 respondents, three-quarters were Western students.  Another study with the same demographic would likely find that 88 per cent of people go binge-drinking on a Tuesday.  In any case, this commentor is awfully sure that none of his exes are creeping him.  It kinda makes you wonder how he can be so certain…

(I mean, I get that you’re happy these women are out of your life, bro, but maybe you shouldn’t be so proud about being so forgettable.  Just sayin’.)

New study ignores that using Google to find porn usually isn’t the best idea (except during Christmas time)…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

According to a recent study, Americans search for sex on Google more often in the summer months of June and July—but also over the Christmas holidays and during the month of January, the Globe and Mail reports.  The Villanova University study found that “searches related to finding a date, porn and prostitutes spiked during these periods,” as per the Globe.  Man, I wish I could’ve been a research assistant on that project!

Apparently, when people are more sociable, they also get hornier, one of the study’s researchers suggests.  “The summer time tends to bring a flurry of social activities, and December can bring holiday gatherings and shopping crowds,” Prof. Patrick Markey noted.  I must say that shopping for presents makes me wanna go and baste the Christmas turkey, if you know what I mean.  But let’s not overlook a key factor, here.  The people who are Googling “boobs,” “porn” and “brothel” likely aren’t having sex—unless it’s with a prostitute.  (On that note, Google searches for hookers apparently rose 35 per cent in March 2008, right around the time Eliot Spitzer got caught with one.)

Let’s face it, women tend to wear less clothing in the summertime, and the guy who spends all day staring at them on the subway could very well go home and dial up some hot schoolgirl action at the end of the night.  Mind you, he probably doesn’t need to Google “boobs” to get off—he’s certainly got a few good sites bookmarked already.  In fact, Googling lurid, sexual terms sometimes won’t lead you to porn at all.  I know I’ve had my share of visitors in the past who’ve searched on some steamy keywords to get here—and not all of them had to do with Romanian Olympic gymnast Catalina Ponor…

That said, the spike on Googling for sex over Christmas certainly makes sense.  Chances are, you’re not getting laid when you’re spending the holidays with your folks—unless maybe you live in rural Arkansas.  And the last thing you wanna do is to be bookmarking anal-sex sites on Grandma’s Pentium II PC.  That’s when Google comes in handy, my friends.  Just remember to delete your history. ;)

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Achalandage

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Achalandage: The number or amount of people who visit a destination, ie a hotel.

As seen in: « Période difficile pour les hôteliers de Montréal. Le taux d’achalandage a diminué d’environ 12,5% en juillet par rapport à l’année dernière. »

(Translation: “Tough times for Montreal hotel owners.  The visitation rate decreased about 12.5 per cent in July compared to last year.”)

http://journalmetro.com/actualites/montreal/132883/baisse-dachalandage-dans-les-hotels-montrealais-sur-fond-de-negociations-collectives/