Peruvian boy to receive life-altering penis implant

A feel-good story has emerged out of Miami, where the International Kids Fund’s Wonderfund has teamed up with Holtz Children Hospital to provide a 17-year-old Peruvian villager with a new penis, ABC News reports.  Luis Canelos will be undergoing a 20-hour phalloplasty at no cost to his family, though the Wonderfund will need to raise 50 Gs in order to pay the doctors.  That’s quite a price to put on a pee-pee, dontcha think?

But penis replacement isn’t a procedure you can get done at some back-alley clinic.  “It’s a superspecialist kind of job,” Dr. Andrew Panossian told ABC. “You’re doing very fine work and it’s all sort of minutia that make this life changing thing happen.”  If things go wrong, according to the report, Canelos could end up pissing out of the side of his new dick.  I don’t even wanna know how that works.

The Peruvian teenager accidentally shot himself with his father’s gun when he was nine, blowing off all “his external genitalia except for a small portion of his right testicle.”  He is understandably ecstatic at the opportunity to become a man.  “I am so happy. I thank God for allowing me to come here with the nonprofit. I thank them for giving me this opportunity,” he said, adding that he hopes to have kids.  Somehow, I doubt he’ll need to be reminded to keep his weapons out of the reach of his future children.

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