This just in: Canadian kids are fat and lazy!

A recent report card by Active Healthy Kids Canada gave kids an F for physical activity, noting that 46 per cent of Canadian youngsters get less than three hours of active play a week, according to the CBC.  Instead, they spend a staggering seven hours and 48 minutes a day in front of TV and computer screens, which is pretty remarkable considering that they don’t have their own cubicles yet.

What’s even scarier is the reason they’re not playing outside: 82 per cent of mothers surveyed say they keep their kids indoors due to safety concerns, including “crime, traffic, outdoor darkness, lack of supervision and neighbourhood dangers like bullies and rundown buildings.”  If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear Canada was 82-per-cent ghetto.  Then again, most of these moms are overreacting: 58 per cent report “they’re very concerned about keeping their kids safe and feel they have to be overprotective of them.”

Look kids, as someone who spends upwards of eight hours a day in front of a computer screen (and not by choice, either), take it from me: you’re going to be fat if you don’t get off your asses.  I was actually a skinny kid, but my sedentary lifestyle has turned me into a blob.  And if you start fat, well, you’ll probably end up like Rob Ford, the mayor of this city, who gave up on his weight-loss challenge after tipping the scales at 314 pounds.  C’mon, you don’t really wanna be like Rob Ford, do ya?

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