NOT THEM! NOT HERE!

In between reminiscences of the drunken misadventures of his party-hearty youth, the National Post’s Scott Stinson relates this disturbing piece of information in his latest column: Jersey Shore is coming to Canada!

No, it’s not that Lake Shore show that was pitched, and ultimately rejected, by networks a couple years back, but rather a program called Grand Benders, which focuses on Canada’s answer to Seaside Heights—Grand Bend, Ontario.  “It’s a party town,” says one of the employees of Coco’s (in Stinson’s piece), the hotel/restaurant/nightclub on which Grand Benders is focused. “Everyone from all the towns around here knows it as the party town.”  Or as Mickey, the establishment’s owner puts it, “People come here to hang out. Blow off some steam. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy.”  Girl then gives boy the clap, as we’ll surely see in a future episode.

While Seaside generates some 10.3 million hits on Google, Grand Bend brings up a respectable 8.9 mil.  That said, I had never even heard of the place whose official website describes as “a safe community that is just a little more exciting on Long Weekends.”  I don’t suppose there are too many Guidos, though.  The site says they get a lotta visitors from Michigan and Ohio…

And in spite of the Post’s provocatively-titled piece, it looks like we won’t be seeing too many DTF hookups either.  It turns out that Grand Benders focuses on the family that runs Coco’s, not the “bevy of young folk who come to wait tables and sling drinks all season in tight T-shirts.”  It also airs on bpm:tv, a channel I couldn’t find with a road map and a compass.  Kinda like Grand Bend itself, incidentally…

So in the end, I guess we have nothing to fear, kinda like the last time this headline (stolen from the Globe and Mail) appeared in print. ;)

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