Monthly Archives: May 2012

Luka Rocco Magnotta: The gay Patrick Bateman?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In the “1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick” video by alleged Montreal dismemberer Luka Rocco Magnotta, our gay gorefiend abducts and beheads an Asian man before doing unspeakable things to his corpse.  You might not wanna click that link before going to an amusement park, if you know what I mean.  The soundtrack to this sordid scene is New Order’s 1987 hit “True Faith,” the same song that’s playing in the background when Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) tells a bartender “I wanna stab you to death, then play around with your blood” in the 2000 Lions Gate film American Psycho.  I take it our wanted man has never read the book by Bret Easton Ellis, in which all the hottest clubs are blasting “New Sensation” by INXS and Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven is a Place on Earth.”  I don’t recall New Order being in the book, although I might be mistaken…

In any case, the synthpop song has led La Presse columnist Patrick Lagacé to not only compare Magnotta to Bateman, but to go one step further when he states “Magnotta, c’est Bateman.”  Lagacé points out that the two share a disregard for both human and animal suffering (Magnotta allegedly has a thing for cats, Bateman tortures pets in the book, but more famously holds a gun to a cat’s head in the film), along with a taste for the macabre.  They’re both obsessed with their appearance (I’ll take his word for it on the former) and they’ve both filmed their exploits.  He also points out that Bateman tried to reenact porn scenes with a pair of prostitutes, while Magnotta apparently did gay porn somewhere.  For the record, he’s not listed on IMDB…

OK, fair enough, but there’s one big difference.  Patrick Bateman’s not gay.  There may be some people who think he was gay, or at least in the closet, but they also believe he didn’t kill anybody.  I can’t say I subscribe to either of those theories.  Bateman may have killed Paul Owen/Allen with an axe to the face, but he did not proceed to sodomize his headless corpse with a wine bottle like the star of “1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick” did.  I’d also say that Bateman’s image obsession wasn’t a gay thing, but rather a product of yuppie culture; he wanted to fit in with all the other guys in the office, wear the same suits, use the same brand of lotion, etc.  From what photos I’ve seen of Magnotta, he definitely seems more effeminate.  Let’s just say I can’t picture him in a Giorgio Armani suit with Oliver Peoples glasses.

Which doesn’t mean he wasn’t inspired by the movie, mind you.  I’m reminded of one of the deleted scenes, in which Donald Kimball (portrayed expertly by Willem Dafoe, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be Bateman’s age in the book) runs into Bateman in a club–New Order isn’t playing in this one–and blurts out “They wanna confess…  I mean, they wanna get caught!”  Although slightly out of context in relation to the scene (which was about formal questioning versus informal conversations), it’s clear that by putting the video online and sending severed limbs to political parties, Magnotta wanted to be, if not caught, then at least recognized for what he allegedly did.

I do wonder, however, whether he follows Canadian politics all that closely.  I mean, why send a hand to the Liberals, who are now the third party in the House of Commons?  Wouldn’t that message be better directed to the Official Opposition?  Unless there’s already a package headed their way, that is.  The SPVM hasn’t stated that they’re aware of the whereabouts of the dead man’s penis…

Meanwhile, it’s assumed that the culprit is on a Glamorama-like whirlwind tour of Europe, possibly under a false identity.  It won’t be long before the authorities seek out Easton Ellis for an informal conversation, methinks.

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The Jets? They’re that baseball team, right?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

In a recent poll posted by the Winnipeg Free Press, a whopping 76 per cent of respondents answered the question “How are you celebrating the one-year anniversary of the Jets’ return?” with “I’m sorry, I don’t know much about baseball.”  See for yourself:

I suppose it’s a good thing their rink only holds 15-thousand people, as they might have some trouble finding new season’s-ticket holders if the current ones don’t renew…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: Occupy Tim Horton’s in Newfoundland’s Health Sciences Centre!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/05/30/money-losing-tim-hortons-in-st-johns-hospital-a-cautionary-tale-critics/

The National Post is one of several media outlets reporting on the privatization of the Tim Horton’s franchise in Newfoundland’s Health Sciences Centre, which reportedly lost $260,000 dollars last year while paying unionized employees $28 an hour.  A measure that was meant to bring in enough money for seven nurses ended up costing the hospital six and a half, according to the profit/loss numbers.  In their stead were undoubtedly the highest-paid coffee-pourers in the country.  You could call them the crème de la crème, or even the one per cent, heh heh.

Mind you, if people were to set up tents inside a Tim Horton’s, it wouldn’t be long before perturbed caffeine junkies—never mind the police—removed them by force!

No more tainted blood in Eastern Townships!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Montreal’s most notorious gay porn star may still be on the loose, but police in Sherbrooke have picked up another sinister customer who’s been sticking dirty needles inside garments at clothing stores dating back to January.  “A 49-year-old man was picked up around noon Thursday at the courthouse in this town two hours east of Montreal,” according to QMI.

The unidentified suspect had terrorized the Eastern Townships by concealing up to 24 blood-filled syringes in clothes at various outlets including Zellers, Hart and Intersport, pricking eight people in the process.  No information has been released as to when his preliminary hearing will take place.  Let’s just hope that blood doesn’t belong to Luka Rocco Magnotta or any of his victims…

BURGER WEEK: This Grindhouse will make you lose your appetite (by filling yer stomach, natch!)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Whereas Burger Brats had nothing to indicate it was Burger Week, aside from some copies of The Grid on a table, the event was front and centre at the Grindhouse Burger Bar.  Not only was it mentioned on the chalkboard outside, but there was a prominent sticker right when you walked in.  Before I even had time to sit down, the server asked me if I wanted the special.  Don’t mind if I do…

The Vacas Locas burger was topped with sour cream, chili, kidney beans, hot peppers and guacamole.  The kidney-bean chili jumped out at me from the first bite, with the sour cream and guac adding a cool creaminess to balance out the kick from the hot peppers.  The burger itself was nice and thick, well-cooked but with still a little pink in the centre.  Paired with a nice Muskoka wheat beer, it brought a little slice of summer to this less-than-balmy day.  I give it a “Yeehaw!” and a “Ride ‘em Cowboy!”

Location: 365 King St. W

Prep Time: 10 minutes

In-and-Out Time: 20 minutes (I only had one beer!)

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Déraper

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Déraper: To skid, to slip (lit), to lose control or to get out of hand (fig).

As seen in: « Les négociations entre Québec et les leaders étudiants ont dérapé mercredi soir et se sont conclues par le dépôt d’une nouvelle proposition de la partie étudiante. »

(Translation: “Negotiations between Quebec and student leaders started slipping away Wednesday night, concluding with a new proposition from the student side.”)

http://www.lapresse.ca/actualites/dossiers/conflit-etudiant/201205/31/01-4530281-les-etudiants-ont-fait-une-nouvelle-proposition-au-gouvernement.php

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Burger Week programming to bring you… maple bacon-flavoured beer!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Yes indeedy, Rogue brewery’s infamous Voodoo Doughnut Bacon Maple Ale is now available at the LCBO!  Picked some of this stuff up last nite, as a matter of fact.  The clerk thought I was crazy, but you know what?  It’s actually pretty good.

The first thing you notice is the maple flavour.  You can both smell and taste it on the first gulp.  It’s kinda like going to a cabane à sucre in Quebec where they leave a big vat of maple syrup at your table and the idea is to pour some on everything.  Hey, when in Rome, right?

There also is a subtle hint of smokiness, but truth be told, even if it was brewed with real bacon, this beer doesn’t taste like piggy.  It’s got a smoky, wood aftertaste that reminded me of Sam Adams, and while I’ve only had Rogue Dead Guy ale once when I was in Portland a couple years back, I recall its colour being similar to this stuff.

Although listed as a “strong beer,” at 5.6 per cent alcohol, it’s not enough to knock you out.  A 750 ml bottle, while listed as one pint, was also enough to fill two of those glasses pictured above.

Final Verdict: I gotta say, even if it didn’t taste like bacon, this brew wasn’t too bad.  I might buy another bottle to have with dinner on a hot summer night, or maybe bring a couple of these to be the toast of a party.  BTW, I must say this stuff paired nicely with the evil concoction I threw together for dinner:

That’s bacon poutine from Smoke’s Poutinerie, with some Hostess Hickory Sticks on top for that extra smoky kick.  Mmm, bacon…

COMMENT OF THE DAY: How dare Richard Branson invite a female to remove her vestments? To the rack with him!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Canada/20120530/Premier-Christy-Clark-Branson-kitesurfing-120530/

When eccentric billionaire Richard Branson asked B.C. premier Christy Clark to go nude kitesurfing with him, she took it in stride, saying “If that’s his best pickup line then maybe there’s a reason he called his company Virgin.”  Some CTV commentors, however, reacted quite differently to his remarks.

Now, I don’t know if there’s some backwoods part of this country where inviting a woman to get naked and jump on your back is actually punishable by mule-beating, but another comment on the same article seems to validate this:

(Remind me not to move there, eh?)

Foot-mail suspect puts the “adventure” in death by misadventure…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Well, it turns out there’s more to the Conservative foot-mail case than just a buncha one-liners.  In a bizarre twist, The Gazette is now reporting that the suspect sought by police in the murder/dismemberment/limb-mailing affair is a gay porn star and male stripper.  Luka Rocco Magnotta apparently has “multiple websites depicting him in various photo spreads” and there’s even an interview out there in which he “complains about ‘lies’ linking him romantically or even married to schoolgirl killer Karla Homolka.”

Magnotta is also said to be “a James Dean lover and had cosmetic surgery to look like his idol.”  You can sorta see the resemblance in this police handout photo.  Of course, this doesn’t explain why he might kill someone and mail their body parts to Ottawa, but he seems like somewhat of a strange fellow nevertheless.

Cuz it ain’t illegal when a cop does it, right?

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The Toronto Star is reporting that Toronto PD Constable Andrew Vanderburgh was “harassed and berated” by his colleagues after arresting and charging an off-duty police officer with impaired driving in 2009.  Vanderburgh, a rookie on the force, responded to a 911 call that reported “seeing someone driving erratically on the Don Valley Parkway,” with the license plate number to back it up.  That license led him and his partner to the home of Breton Berthiaume, a Halton Region officer.

When Vanderburgh took Berthiaume in to 22 Division for a breathalyzer, he was met by officers who “took exception to a police officer being charged or investigated,” as per Crown Attorney Mary-Anne Mackett.  Furthermore, when he left the station, he was followed by a 22 Division constable who gave him a bogus ticket for running a red light.  The ticket was later dismissed, and the ticketing officer was docked 20 days’ pay after owning up to his actions.

The Berthiaume case, meanwhile, is still before the courts.  In fact, it has been put on hold until February(!) after he fired his lawyer.  But should he be found guilty, it will be clear which officer was following the law in this instance and which one wasn’t.