Pittsburgh’s Strip District is home to many shops and restaurants, including the original Primanti’s, but its most imposing attraction is the Senator John Heinz History Center, a six-story museum that includes the Western Pennsylvania Sports Museum amongst its many exhibits.  And yes, there is a wing dedicated to Heinz ketchup, too.  In fact, they even have this vintage ketchup truck parked in the lobby:

The museum’s first floor contained an exhibit about the American flag, so I quickly breezed through it for much the same reason that I went to the bathroom during the singing of “God Bless America” at the baseball game.  I’ve got no problem with American patriotism–just don’t expect me to participate in it.  Yinz (which is how they say y’all in Pittsburgh) couldn’t find Calgary on a map of Canada, so I think we’re even.  That said, there were a few things on the ground floor that caught my eye…

I’m pretty sure this is a reference to slavery, not the British rock band from the 70′s.

These were worn by American soldiers in the war.  Word has it that’s Mandarin for Take me to the nearest “barber shop.”

This flag was the symbol of the Know Nothing Party, an 18th-century precursor to today’s Tea Party, as some people say…

Didn’t get to see the Warhol Museum (closed on Mondays!), so this would hafta do.

Upon entering the Sports Museum on the second floor, I was greeted by two things.  One was this lifelike statue of The Immaculate Reception:

And the other was this display case of memorabilia from The Super Bowl That Never Happened.

(I’m just glad there wasn’t a statue immortalizing The Low Block.)

Although the museum honoured a variety of local sports teams and athletes, it was mainly a shrine to how crazy Steelers fans are.  Case in point:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D (that was someone’s bedsheet!)

(This pretty much sums it up.)

(OK, so I think this is a promotional item for a roller derby, not a maxi-pad substitute…)

Mind you, the museum wasn’t solely focused on football.  It also paid homage to native sons such as Tony Dorsett, Arnold Palmer and…
Marble King Doug Opperman!

They’re kinda like the KISS Army, cept they wear chinos…

Dock Ellis wasn’t the only pitcher to throw a no-hitter–but he was the only one to do so while trippin’ on LSD.

The museum’s fourth floor contained traditional artifacts from the city’s cultural mosaic.  Stuff like this:

(OK, so this one was still part of the sports exhibit.)

(This bearded creature with light-up eyes was used to scare Jewish children.  Any resemblance to Osama bin Laden is purely coincidental.)

Suffice to say this is a tradition they’re probably not so proud of.

The finest tradition of them all, right here!

And yes, like I said before, there is also an entire wing dedicated to Heinz ketchup, including some vintage tomato-paste propaganda:

Surprisingly, this product never caught on…

I hafta say, I was quite shocked to see an exhibit in both of Canada’s official languages on the fifth floor, complete with life-sized figurines…

On a side note, it says here that Pittsburgh is the Birmingham of America.  Funny, I can only think of one legendary metal band from this place…

(More on that tomorrow!)