Monthly Archives: January 2012

Perhaps Newt could turn to Lemmy for his new campaign theme?

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Yesterday, the news broke that Survivor, the 80′s pop band that gives thanks to Sly Stallone before each meal and who tried to sue CBS 10 years ago for naming a reality show after them, is now suing ultra-conservative candidate Newt Gingrich, for using their greatest hits single “Eye of the Tiger” as his campaign theme.  Apparently it’s not about politics, though.  It’s about money copyright.  Yeah, I hear ya.

That said, if the man from Fannie Mae is looking for a snappy tune that hasn’t already been used by Stephen Harper, he could certainly do worse than to look to British heavy metal legends Motorhead.  While the band’s 1980 hit “Ace of Spades” gets the most airplay, I think the second song from said album, “Love Me Like a Reptile,” would be much better suited to he of the reptilian moniker.  Surely a playa like Newt, who’s had three wives (though not all at the same time–his religion doesn’t allow it) could appreciate lascivious lyrics like: “I got no choice, I’m gonna twist your tail/Love Me Like A Reptile, I’m gonna sink my fangs in you” and “You know I’ve got my eyes on you/You’re petrified, gonna stick like glue”…

Furthermore, Motorhead are currently crisscrossing the nation on Gigantour.  Well actually, they’re in Canada right now, but they’ll be back on the good ol’ side of the border from Feb 9-14 and the 21st to March 2nd.  Perhaps Gingrich could get Lemmy and co to make an appearance?  I know I’d vote for that!

NEWT/LEMMY 2012!

UPDATE 2/1: Apparently Mitt Romney is also having his issues with musical endorsements.  The Toronto Star reports that His Mittness blasted out K’naan’s ‘Waivin’ Flag” upon winning the Florida primary, to which the Toronto rapper tweeted “Yo @mittromney I am K’naan Warsame and I do not endorse this message.”

Also, if you scroll down a couple times, you’ll see Lemmy’s scowling face on the right-hand side (under What’s Hot) of the article linked above.  Coincidence?  I think not…

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Episode 12 of Gruesome Tunes now available for download!

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CLICK HERE!!!!!!11110

01/29/12 PLAYLIST

Negative Reaction – Angels and Demons (Frequencies from Montauk) 4:06

The Octopus – Hemisphere (888) 5:06

The Octopus – Unholy Mountain (888) 4:32

The Gates of Slumber – To the Rack with Them (The Wretch) 3:15

Discharge – No Return (Desensitise) 2:43

Antiseen – Trapped in Dixie (Eat More Possum) 2:16

 

King Giant – Tales of Mathias (Dismal Hollow) 4:14

OCOAI – Waking Fear (The Electric Hand) 3:51

Crowbar – Let Me Mourn (Sever the Wicked Hand) 4:51

Macabre – The Ripper Tramp from France (Grim Scary Tales) 3:39

 

Electric Voyage – Streetwalker (Flight of No Return 7”) 3:01

U.D.O. – Dr. Death (Rev-Raptor) 3:46

Grifter – Bucktooth Woman (self-titled) 3:38

Ironweed – The Lucky Ones (Your World of Tomorrow) 4:53

Bushfire – Hundredsixtysix (Black Ash Sunday) 4:26

 

Noothgrush – A People Defeated (Live For Nothing) 5:39

Dukatalon – Vagabond (Saved By Fear) 5:42

Rival Sons – Flames of Lanka (Before the Fire) 5:03

Freedom Hawk – Faded (Holding On) 4:56

Suplecs – Tried to Build an Engine (Mad Oak Redoux) 5:00

 

Lecherous Gaze – Get You Some (Danava/Earthless/Lecherous Gaze split) 3:07

The Devil’s Blood – Cruel Lover (The Thousandfold Epicentre) 7:26

Earth – The Corascene Dog (Angels of Darkness, Demons of Light II) 8:26

Roadsaw – So Low Down (self-titled) 3:40

Premonition 13 – B.E.A.U.T.Y. (13) 9:02

COMMENT OF THE DAY: The movie you’re looking for is The Hurt Locker…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://thestar.blogs.com/raptors/2012/01/a-long-raptors-month-ends-and-a-team-stumbles-through-a-winter.html

You know its Oscar season when Toronto sports fans start mentioning the movies that won Best Picture the last time their teams made the playoffs…

 

(For the record, the Argos made it to the Eastern Final in 2010.  Best picture that year was The Hurt Locker!)

It seems Blackberry’s bold cartoon campaign is missing a couple characters…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

After failing to inspire consumers with its ads featuring rugby players and cattle ranchers, and then pinning its hopes for the Playbook on Freddy Mercury singing “Flash!  Whoa-oh-oh!” Blackberry makers Research in Motion have scrapped their putative Be Bold campaign featuring the following cartoon superheroes:

 

From left to right, we have Gogo Girl, who saves the day with a brilliant strategy, a smile and a spatula; Max Stone, who’s tough, proud and a little wild; Trudy Foreal, who is not afraid to call it as she sees it and Justin Steele, the advocate who sticks up for his friends. (Thanks, Globe and Mail!)  Gender and racial stereotypes aside, where’s Crashy McOutage, the overworked network administrator, or the ghostly I.M. Dead, a metaphor for the Playbook itself?

Last time I checked, Blackberry catered to a business audience, not elementary school children, which explains the backlash these characters have received.  I guess they’ll hafta cancel that order of stuffed animals and collectible figurines…

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Déhancher

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Déhancher: To swing one’s hips or to strut one’s stuff.  Can also mean to balance on one leg.

As seen in: « La fièvre Madonna a gagné Québec lundi, alors que les rumeurs entourant le passage de la star sur les plaines d’Abraham se sont matérialisées. Aucune source officielle n’a confirmé la nouvelle, or tout indique que la Madone se déhanchera sur la grande scène extérieure le 1er septembre. »

(Translation: “Madonna Fever struck Quebec Monday, as rumours surrounding the diva’s performance on the Plains of Abraham started to take form.  No official source has confirmed the news, but we have every indication that Madonna will strut her stuff on the outdoor stage September 1st.”)

http://www.cyberpresse.ca/le-soleil/arts-et-spectacles/sur-scene/201201/30/01-4490986-madonna-a-quebec-la-rumeur-prend-de-lampleur.php?utm_categorieinterne=trafficdrivers&utm_contenuinterne=cyberpresse_aujourdhui-sur-lapresseca_267_article_ECRAN2POS1

Do the Super Bowl puritans know that Madonna posed in Playboy and Penthouse back in ’85?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Ever since Janet Jackson exposed her right breast (with a little help from Justin Timberlake) in Super Bowl XXXVIII, the event’s organizing committee has gone with aging rockers Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen and The Who, only making an exception last year with the Black Eyed Peas after Fergie promised not to pee her pants on stage.  This year, they’ve gone back to the old folks home with 80′s pop starlet Madonna, who turns 54 in August.  I guess they must figure her on-stage masturbating days are behind her.

But if one Christmas-ornament-adorned bosom is worth 550 grand, what would the FCC fine for full frontal nudity, complete with hairy armpits and a massive bush?  Well, in 1985, this year’s halftime headliner bared it all for two major gentleman’s magazines, and there was plenty of fur on display…

Apparently, she was paid 35 bucks a session to do some nude modelling back in 1979, only to have photographers Lee Friedlander and Martin H. Schreiber make a massive return on their investment once “Like a Virgin” became a smash hit.  Her Penthouse photos, presumably taken around the same time by one Bill Stone, show her with a more trimmed look, and were also published in September 1985, making her the Bruce Springsteen of men’s magazines.  Note to aspiring pop starlets: don’t pose nude if you plan on becoming famous.  (This has also come back to bite French-Canadian femme fatale Coeur de Pirate…)  Or if you do, try to get negotiate a percentage instead of a flat rate.

That said, it’s probably safe to say that we won’t see a repeat of her bad fur day on stage this weekend.  That is, not unless she has a new album to promote.  Did I mention that fleeting indecency isn’t a fine-worthy offense?

COMMENT OF THE DAY: A public service announcement to all would-be Shafias…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2012/01/29/shafia-sunday.html

After months of testimony, it took the jury just 15 hours to come to a guilty verdict in the case of the Shafia honour(less)-killing trial.  This means all the media outlets that carefully closed their comment sections for legal reasons can now open the floodgates.  I can already hear the cries for deportation coming from the Toronto Sun, and rightfully so, but if such practices are condoned in their home country, it seems that they wouldn’t serve any punishment for their crimes.  Tis best to hit them with the full force of the Canadian justice system: 25 to life.

Speaking of which, this CBC commentator offers a public service announcement for those who might have missed the message:

 

(I have nothing further to add.)

What piece of concealing clothing will they ban next!?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

I’ll admit that it makes sense to ban cell phones in high schools, though I have a hard time understanding why all high school students must have one in the first place.  On the other hand, banning an article of clothing because it could be used to conceal a cell phone is pure and utter stupidity.  Yet that’s the course of action taken by Pottstown Middle School in the Philadelphia suburbs, which is banning UGG boots because some students use them to smuggle their phones into class.

According to Reuters, first-time offenders will get detention, and subsequent violations include two detentions, followed by confiscation of the phone.  But what if there is no phone in the boots?  Will students still be charged for their crimes against fashion?

Furthermore, if boots can be used to hide phones, why not ban backpacks, purses, or even pants?  Seems to me that most people keep their phones in their pants pocket.  I know I do.  But no matter how far they go in Pottstown, at least we know that they won’t be replicating the Ottawa Catholic School Board’s ban on Lululemon pants.  There’s no place to hide a phone in those!

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Échauffourée

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Échauffourée: A short, spontaneous violent encounter, ie clash, brawl, or skirmish.

As seen in: « Des échauffourées ont opposé des partisans du Mouvement du 23 juin (M23, opposition politique et société civile) qui protestaient contre la candidature d’Abdoulaye Wade et des forces de l’ordre intervenues pour les disperser, faisant sept blessés, dont deux sont décédés à l’hôpital, ont indiqué des témoins, une source policière et une source hospitalière joints depuis la ville de Saint-Louis. »

(Translation: “Clashes between members of the Movement of June 23rd (M23, political opposition and civil organization), protesting against the candidacy of Abdoulaye Wade, and the authorities charged with dispersing them injured seven people, including two who died in hospital, according to witnesses, a police source and a hospital source from the city of Saint-Louis (in Senegal).”

http://tempsreel.nouvelobs.com/monde/20120130.OBS0137/senegal-deux-personnes-tuees-lors-d-une-manifestation-anti-wade.html

Two All-Star games x zero contact = no interest

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Why do we have All-Star games again?  So the best players in their respective sports can play a half-assed pickup game with no defensive effort required?  Do people even tune in to watch these things?  Adding insult to, well, further insult, the NHL and NFL have conspired to have both their All-Star games take place today.  With the only other alternative being to watch the Raptors *shudder* they have more or less monopolized the sports offerings on TV this evening with their two exhibition contests.

Wait, did I say the best players?  I meant the best players playing in the host city and those whose teams have the biggest fan-bases.  These games aren’t even representative of the best their leagues have to offer.  Take the Pro Bowl, now held before the Super Bowl, which by nature excludes the top players from the two Super Bowl participants–not to mention those conference championship losers whose hearts aren’t in it anymore.  Mind you, the Pro Bowl is played in the off-season for the other 30 teams, and thus players are basically trying not to get hurt.  Add that to the fact that they’ve only got a week to learn a new playbook and mesh with new teammates over hot-tub luaus, and you really don’t get the best competition that the league has to offer.  It’s more of a week-long Hawaiian vacation for the players–which gives them a lot more incentive to take part than when they tried holding it in the Super Bowl’s host city.  I mean, does anyone wanna go to Indiana for a holiday this time of year–or anytime, for that matter?  Didn’t think so…

In that regard, I kinda feel bad for the NHL stars who’ve descended upon snowy Ottawa this weekend.  While the rest of their teammates kick back on the beach or spend time with family, they’ve forced to take part in a Mickey Mouse exhibition for the league’s corporate sponsors and a few of its die-hard fans.  That said, the Saturday nite skills competition is a decent idea, letting the players let loose with some sick moves and wicked hard slapshots.  Hell, I’d say it’s more entertaining than the game itself.  I mean, did you see Chara unleash a 109-mph rocket last nite?  That was sick, wicked and nasty!

On the other hand, I think the NHL’s “fantasy draft” concept is kinda lame.  Ultimately, you knew that Alfredsson would take all the Sens and the Swedes, while Chara would pick his Bruins teammates–and if there were any other Slovaks in attendance, he probably got them, too.  Basically, I just see this as a way for TSN to get some ratings on a Thursday nite without hockey, and for the CBC to create artificial storylines (“The Sedins on separate teams for the first time evar!  OMGZ!!!!1110) for a meaningless game.  It don’t impress me much.

Y’know, I think baseball actually has the right idea, not only in keeping the traditional AL-NL matchup, but in giving homefield advantage in the World Series to the league that wins the All-Star game.  I mean, it’s still not a real contest when you change pitchers more often than batting gloves, but at least it gives the players something to play for during the two innings for which they actually take the field.  As for the NBA, well, if I ever were to obtain tickets to an All-Star game, I’d do my damnedest to start a “Defense” chant, just for the hell of it.  Whether or not anyone else joins in, I don’t think it’ll motivate the players in the slightest. ;)