Yeah I know, the trade took place on Monday, but ever since the shocking move that sent Edmonton’s star QB Ricky Ray to Toronto for a Canadian backup kicker, their own inept signal-caller and the second overall pick in the Canadian collegiate players’ draft, I just can’t stop laughing.  In fact, I’ve had to take a chill pill just to be able to write this.  What grade of gasoline was Eric Tillman huffing when he decided to deal the second-best CFL quarterback of the past decade (after Calvillo, natch) and the face of his franchise for nine seasons for what amounts to a clear downgrade at the position?  Grant Shaw’s a pretty decent non-import punter, and a local kid who should challenge Damon Duval in training camp, but unless there are at least two superstar players in the 2012 draft class, I can’t see why he’d do it.  Maybe Rob Fucking Ford, the mayor of this city agreed to fly his hot niece out west to babysit Tillman’s kids?  That’s the best I can come up…

I mean, I can see why Toronto “aggressively pursued” Ray, considering that the city’s hosting the Grey Cup and all, but what’s in it for Edmonton?  I’ll admit to being ignorant of the CIS (though I hear the Calgary Dinos are pretty good), but no matter who’s available in the draft this year, he will not be the Eskies’ next starting QB.  Keep in mind that only one Canadian pivot has thrown a pass in the CFL since 1997–and nobody’s started behind centre in his home country since Giulio Caravatta suited up for the Lions in ’96.  So it looks like they’re stuck with Stephen Jyles, he of the career 81.7 QB rating, and 31 TD passes to 29 interceptions.  (Ray’s numbers? 96.1 rating, 210 TDs vs 130 picks.)  The Esks are really gonna hafta emphasize the run game with a passer who’s only made more than 70 throws twice in his six CFL seasons.  I don’t wanna say that they won’t win many games, but I think the Argos have a better chance of making the Grey Cup than the Eskies do next season.

Mind you, while I can’t help but feel happy that I won’t hafta look at Frito Lay’s pointy, balding head four to five times a season, there is a part of me that actually feels bad for Deadmontonian football fans.  After all, it was only about 15 years ago when Toronto did the same thing to the Stampeders.

Well okay, the circumstances were a little different.  Wally Buono never traded Doug Flutie, rather he signed a big deal with the Argos, reportedly worth a million bucks a year, after coming up short with the Stamps in the ’95 Grey Cup final.  With God’s Gift to Canadian Football at the helm, the Argos reeled off back-to-back 15-3 seasons, capped off by consecutive Grey Cup wins, as Flutie was named both regular-season and Grey Cup MVP in 1996 and 1997.  He then went on to Buffalo, where he was named to the Pro Bowl in ’98 and lead the team to two playoff appearances.  The Bills haven’t made it back to the postseason since they benched him for Rob Johnson in ’99, a dark day in team history.  Just like the day he got away was for the Stamps.

As for Ricky Ray, there’s no doubt he will join Flutie someday in the Canadian Football Hall of Fame.  But should Argos fans start buying tickets for next year’s Grey Cup now that he’s in town?  Not unless you wanna sell ‘em come November.  I do think he can lead ‘em back to the playoffs, which only takes 8 or 9 wins in the Eastern Division, but unless they upgrade a receiving corps that’s lean on talent and solid veteran experience (Jermaine Copeland and Mo Mann are getting old), they’ll do well just to get to the Eastern Final.  Meanwhile, if Edmonton makes the playoffs at all next year, it’s only cuz Saskatchewan still sucks.  If Jyles has any common sense, his first move as an Esk should be to send a “Get Well Soon” card to Jerome Messam.  They only go as far as he does next season.

In fact, I’m gonna go on the record to say that Toronto wins more games than Edmonton in 2012.  And if I’m wrong, I will purchase a Ricky Ray jersey.  Hey, it’ll give me something to wear next time there’s a seat sale and the Stamps aren’t in town…