Defence reigned supreme in Week 14, but if you’ve been watching the CFL all season, that probably wasn’t much of a surprise. In fact, the highest combined point total of the week was very nearly the Eskimos’ 24-0 shutout of Saskatchewan. In the end, Hamilton’s 16-11 win over Winnipeg edged ‘em out by a field goal. But man, when you get a full slate of games where there were as many teams putting up 20+ points as there were franchises that a goose-egg, well, I don’t think it’s just the weather that’s been unseasonably cold across Canada this summer. FWIW, it was a sunny 25 degrees in Toronto last weekend. Oh, and the Argos had a bye. ;)
1. Calgary Stampeders (11-2) Last Week: 1. I hafta admit, even as a Stamps fan–albeit one living in the Eastern Timezone–I dozed off just before halftime of their 14-7 win over B.C. Hell, that game was so boring that I actually switched to the season premiere of SNL midway through the third quarter…and I don’t even like Ariana Grande! That being said, after giving up an opening-drive touchdown, the Stamps defence held its opponent scoreless for the remaining 55 minutes. Aaaaaand that’s why they’re the soon-to-be 2014 Grey Cup champs! ;)
2. Edmonton Eskimos (9-4) Last Week: 3. Speaking of shutouts, the Eskies held Saskadelphia scoreless for a full 60 minutes last week. Granted, Riders backup QB Tino Sunseri couldn’t hit the broad side of a grain silo, but keeping an opponent that was previously 9-3 without even a suçon of offence is a pretty big freakin’ deal!
3. Hamilton Tiger-Cats (5-7) Last Week: 5. I know what you’re thinking: 5-7 Hamilton in third place!? What, has he been hanging out with Rob Ford? (OK, so the man has cancer. I should probably stop that…) In any case, the Cats have built up a three-game winning streak the hard way, with back-to-back-to-back wins over Western opponents, even knocking off Edmonton in Week 13. They might just be the East’s only hope come Grey Cup 102… The Stamps’ll still stomp ‘em, though! :P
4. B.C. Lions (7-6) Last Week: 4. At least the B.C. D showed up to play last week, holding Calgary to four field goals and a safety–the latter of which their punter conceded. But things looked bleak on offence even before Kevin Glenn went down, and if he’s not good to go, going forward, this team could be down to QB#3…which means they’re even more screwed than Saskatchewan!
5. Saskatchewan Roughriders (9-4) Last Week: 2. Like I said after Week 13, the Riders did not deserve to be number one because their magical, mystical OT win that week came over the lowly REDBLACKS!!!!–and at Mosaic Stadium, no less!!!! Last weekend, Tino Sunseri and company showed what happens when they play against a real team. Even the 13th man wouldn’t have changed that game–but who knows, he mighta blocked a field goal or something.
6. Montreal Alouettes (5-8) Last Week: 8. Montreal’s recent run (hey, a two-game win streak counts as a run when we’re talking ’bout the CFL Least) has not been as impressive as Hamilton’s; I mean, they just barely beat the REDBLACKS!!!! last week. But the Als can boast of something that only one other CFL franchise can lay claim to this season: they actually knocked off the Calgary Stampeders. With Drew Tate starting at quarterback, but still. That makes ‘em better than next-to next-to-worst in my books!
7. Toronto Argonauts (4-8) Last Week: 7. Y’know, I typically try not to move a team up or down in the rankings after their bye week, but in this case, by virtue of not playing, the Argos actually moved ahead of one team, whose fans might wanna start bustin’ out the paper bags any day now…
8. Winnipeg Blue Bombers (6-7) Last Week: 6. Although their almost-winning record is still somewhat respectable–hey, they’d have a half-game lead in the Least if they still played there–the way the Bombers have landed at 6-7 has sent them spiraling down these rankings. Lose-A-Peg (and yes, I’m bringing that back) has dropped four straight games, and six of its last seven. Hell, if they fail to defeat Ottawa next week, I might hafta do the unthinkable and move the REDBLACKS!!!!! up from last place!!!!!
9. Ottawa REDBLACKS!!!!! (1-11) Last Week: 9. Let’s face it, Henry Burris and the boys have been on the bottom more often than (insert gay porn icon here). At this point, I’m really running out of silly football-related pictures to post from this expansion franchise, so I’ll hafta start ending these rankings with photos of some of Ottawa’s storied landmarks, beginning with the BareFax Gentlemen’s Club on York Street:
Hey, I hear that if you get lucky here, you might even get ex-Senator Patrick Brazeau to frisk ya!