The Diablo Red record that never was…

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Moving to my new apartment a couple weeks back forced me to reorganize my CD collection.  And be reorganize, I mean get rid of a lotta shit.  That said, I had some titles so obscure that even Sonic Boom wouldn’t touch ‘em.  And then there were the demos and CDRs I stumbled across, including this one, the never-released fourth album from my former favourite Toronto band, Diablo Red…

Just stuck this in my CD player for the first time in who-knows-how-long.  Alas, while it skipped like a suicide mother on several occasions, what I was able to ascertain is that it still sounds refreshingly awesome.  Here’s the blow-by-blow:

Always thought “Shotglass Full of Pills” was a great opening track.  A straight-ahead southern chugger with a big, anthemic chorus about their singer’s struggles with Crohn’s Disease…  Wait, was it Crohn’s?  I suppose it could be interpreted as a drug-addiction song too, for that matter.  Still a great, great song.  Personal favourite.

On the other hand, I can’t recall “Long After the Fall” at all.  A good stoner groove kicks this one off, to a slightly slow-paced stomp.  Okay, I definitely recognize this chorus.   Name-drops Jesus without sounding too preachy.  This song is every bit as good as Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, and all those other southern-sounding bands that received their share of recognition—whether they began with Black or not.  “Unbroken” actually sounds a little bit like BLS, come to think of it, with a bit more of a gruff, smoky growl than we’re used to hearing from Catch Murphy.

“King Con” is another one I recognize, as it slowly creeps up to the surface, riffs building on top of a lone, repeated guitar line.  From there, it’s all stop-and-start territory, a winding path that would make Nashville Pussy proud.  “Stone of Atonement” begins with an upbeat shuffle signalling a slightly more up-tempo number.  These guys always were good when they (rarely) played fast, although this one’s just a little more than mid-paced with a slow, gloomy instrumental break thrown in for good measure.  Now, “Crossroads” may be a clichéd title, but this song is anything but ordinary, culminating in another catchy chorus that should have raised many fists at biker rallies.  (I heard they played a couple in their day.)

“Death’s Our Name” was meant to be the title track, though they were going with some garbled Spanish translation as I recall.  In any case, Diablo was certainly fluent in the language of the riff, as another solid southern stomper gets my boots shakin’ in no time.  Frankly, I feel that “southern doom” is a fairly non-existent subgenre, but I suppose it should sound something like this.

“Six Bells Till Closing” is another personal favourite.  At one point, they were going to release a pirate-themed EP with this as its centrepiece.  And yet, I used to think this song was called “Dying Man’s Morning,” as it was mislabelled on an earlier demo I used to have.  (And maybe still have somewhere…)  Alas, the Pirate EP never happened, but I stagger stagger-ed, roll roll-ed quite often to this tune, if ya know what I mean.  “Cannons roar/My blade digs in/Shattered bones/Survive you win!”  Always loved that line.

Of course, since this album never actually came out, I reckon the band doesn’t owe Gene Simmons royalties for “1,000 Years,” which is just one zero short of a KISS song title.  That said, this song tunes KISS down several notches for a low ‘n slow southern ballad(?) that grooves along grunge-ily.  It’s somewhat more laid-back and low-key compared to the other killer cuts on here, until it explodes into a mind-melting solo that’s but a bit too brief.

The album ends with two songs that I can’t recall for the life of me.  “Lost Tomorrow” is another sorta-slow, down-tuned, low-key effort—one more hyphen and it wins the prize, albeit at six-minutes plus, it sure takes its sweet time to collect.  As for “Shower of Bastard,” well, I’d imagine it would be quite smelly.  But it turns out this tune has a slight spring to its step, with a repeated “fuck you” refrain.  Erm, perhaps that’s a pre-refrain—which sorta sounds like those beans I had at that Mexican place last night…

Maaaaaaaaaaan, I miss this band.  It would be nice if this freakin’ CDR didn’t skip so much, but considering I found it in a pile of stuff I didn’t even know I had a couple weeks back, I suppose I can’t complain.

“I raise my glass… to my comrades that fel-ee-ee-el!”

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COMMENT OF THE DAY: “Give Rob Ford more crack!” said no one ever (except for this guy…)

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From: http://www.torontosun.com/2013/05/22/mayor-rob-ford-axed-as-don-bosco-football-coach

After the alleged antics of the alleged Mayor of This CityTM earned him a leadoff spot on The Daily Show, the axe has come down on Rob Ford—at Don Bosco High, where he’ll no longer be head football coach.  Guess he’ll hafta stick to being The Mayor of This CityTM then, eh?

But hey, Rob Ford can still do no wrong in the eyes of a select few, and I mean few, Toronto Sun supporters.  Case in point:

cotd522

(Then again, when even his few defenders are being bashed—on the Toronto Sun comment section, no less—it’s starting to look like the gig is up.)

FRENCH WORD OF THE DAY: Pilotage

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Pilotage: The guidance of a ship or an aircraft.  This term also exists in English.

As seen in: « L’enquête interne de Croisières AML confirme qu’une erreur de pilotage est à l’origine de l’échouement du Louis-Jolliet, la semaine dernière, à la pointe de l’île d’Orléans. »

(Translation: “An internal Croisières AML enquiry has confirmed that pilot error caused the sinking of the Louis-Jolliet last week at the edge of the Island of Orleans.”)

http://www.radio-canada.ca/regions/quebec/2013/05/22/002-echouement-louis-jolliet-erreur.shtml

This just in: You CAN buy Old Style Pilsner in Ontario!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

One of the most-read posts on this blog is an ode to Old Style Pilsner I composed some 14 months ago.  Granted, it’s not in the top 10 or top 20–but rather near the bottom of the top 40.  Even still, some 265 people (and counting) have come to this site trying to find out where to buy Old Style Pilsner in Ontario.  And until very recently, the answer was nowhere.

But that all changed sometime earlier this month.  Though I can’t find an announcement anywhere, The Beer Store now lists Pil amongst its products, with 15 cans currently on sale for 21 bucks.  They also sell bottles, albeit only in 24s.  You do not wanna drink 24 of those beers, though, trust me!

Now, I’m not sure whether demand was driven by a recent influx of Saskies to The Centre of the Known Universe, or perhaps a resurgence in popularity of the Canadian cult classic FUBAR and its sequel, FUBAR II.  Hey, maybe all those hits on my blog had something to do with it.  In any case, I’ll no longer hafta drink the bitter Czech semi-doppleganger whenever the Riders penetrate the Stampeder defence this summer–though it seems I’ll need to schlep down to Gerard and Seaton to get it. :(

COMMENT OF THE DAY: What if Kim Jong-Un drank Gandhi’s blood?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

From:  http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/21/world/europe/uk-gandhi-auction/index.html

It’s a pacifist blowout at Sotheby’s, where a wide variety of Mahatma Gandhi merchandise is going up for auction.  As per CNN, items include “A pair of shabby leather sandals once worn by Gandhi” as well as “A glass microscope slide with a trace of … Gandhi’s blood.”  Frankly, I don’t see how any non-vampire would wanna buy a dead man’s blood, unless…

cotd521

I dunno guy, but I don’t think a trace of Gandhi’s blood would be enough to turn Kim into a pacifist.  But hey, at least he would have one drop of peaceful blood in his body.

Yunel Escobar sez… ¡Estoy seguro!

Posted by gruesomegreg on

He doesn’t even play for the Jays anymore, but all it takes is a roadtrip to Toronto for shortstop Yunel “Pendejo” Escobar to create more controversy—and this time, all he had on his eye-black was TB.  Erm, that’s TB as in Tampa Bay, not a slight against tuberculosis sufferers…

In any case, the homophobic Cuban infielder set off sparks with his home-run celebration yesterday.  No, he did not mimic performing fellatio on a teammate, nor did he shove a baseball bat up his buttcrack—he simply wanted to make clear that he didn’t miss touching any bags while rounding the bases:

Rays manager Joe Maddon told the Toronto Star “he would talk to Escobar and ‘I’m certain you’re not going to see happen again.’”  Meanwhile, Escobar, through interpreter/teammate Joel Peralta, told the assembled media “It’s something I do every time I cross home plate.”  While not entirely true, it’s safe to say that if it wasn’t Yunel “Come la mierda” Escobar making that move, nobody in Toronto would give a shit. ;)

Russia shunned by neighbour in Eurovision contest; bombs over Azerbaijan?

Posted by gruesomegreg on

Something tells me that the next European conflict will be blamed on the Eurovision contest.  A multinational American Idol, pitting pop-singers from across the continent against each other in a made-for-TV drama, this year’s edition saw a minor upset as the Azerbaijani contestant, Farid Mammadov, came in second.  Russia’s Dina Garipova, meanwhile, finished fifth—and Der Kommissar’s none too pleased.

As Reuters reports, “Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said on Tuesday that 10 points were ‘stolen’ from Russia’s contestant in the weekend final of the annual musical extravaganza, who received no points from Azerbaijan – a result Azeri officials said was an error.”  No word as to whether the Azeri admission came before or after ex-KGB strongman Putin paid them a visit.  In any case, Reuters notes that “Azerbaijan’s ambassador to Russia said President Ilham Aliyev had ordered authorities to find out what happened and suggested the votes had been lost during a tally in Germany.”  Oh sure, blame it on the Germans…

Suffice to say, this singing spectacle is serious business.  Foreign Minister Lavrov also reportedly said the nations agreed to “coordinate joint efforts to make sure this outrageous action does not go unanswered.”  There will be blood!  Just hopefully not on the streets of Moscow.  As one Twitter user pointed out (translated by Reuters), “Half the country’s in poverty and we’re talking about stolen votes. #lolwut”

Then again, had Garipova received those 10 additional points, her neighbourhood might have been allocated enough bread for a week, so y’know, this was a pretty impactful performance. ;)